Just A Nobody

My photo
This blog was started to share the journey of what God has called me to do, serve our friends whithout homes. A long the way it has also become part of my journey as well.

Sunday, November 22, 2009


Saturday in the park we were having a great time visiting with our friends. I was engaging with a group of young men, joking around having a good time, and then I screwed up. Earlier one of the older gentlemen had given me a pack of cigs that I put in my pocket. From time to time our friends will give me something and no matter what it is I never refuse, in their way they feel like they are giving back and if I say no, they feel like their gift is not good enough. Anyway, I was standing there talking to this group of young men. When one of them wanted a cigarette, remembering the pack in my pocket, I meant to ask “Do any of you Guys want one of these?” what came out of my mouth was “Do any of you People want one of these.”

Now you have to understand that this group of guys have been a group that were always coming down to eat, but would grab a plate and then high tail it back to the far picnic bench to continue drinking and doing their drugs, never wanting anymore from us than a plate of food. About a month ago this all changed. They started coming over, getting their food then hanging out and talking. Then came the “can I have a hug before I leave.” Now when they show up, they bee line it strait over and let you know they are there and always want you to hug and love on them……you almost can’t get rid of them now…LOL.

Well after my screwed up comment, one of them jokingly asked what I meant by “You People, I thought we were all the same down here?” I tried to explain that it was not my intention to say that and I would never think of them as “You people.” I apologized and asked if they would forgive me. They said they knew what I meant and that I considered them like family, that they were just giving me a hard time.

It went deeper for me though. It still bothers me that I could have with one slip of the tongue and with one word destroyed the relationship that has been built with these young men. In no way do I ever want to hurt them or make them feel like they are different. With one word you can build up or you can destroy and my heartaches at the thought that I could have in spit second inflicted more pain into lives that were already hurting. I love my friends with a passion I cannot explain and I pray that I never have one of those “I screwed up moments again!”

Friday, November 20, 2009


My drawing for Ben.
He is removing all the old....so more of His heart will shine thru!

Thursday, November 19, 2009

EYES---by Ken Loyd

Why do some “normals” (people with jobs who live indoors) get acceptance more quickly downtown among our friends than others?

One possible reason can be found in our eyes. Window of the soul and all that.

Our friends search our eyes to see if we are safe. They must. Their survival depends on it.

Check this out. They can see in, but, better than that, we can consciously project outward from real places in our souls. We can project love, acceptance, delight, and the desire to know and connect right onto the screens of their hearts. Child-like wonder doesn’t hurt at all, either.

Cool, huh?

PS Jim Henderson would call this ” being intentional.”

Monday, November 9, 2009


The day you entered my life, I was filled with excitement, yet fear all at the same time.

Filled with joy over this new guy in my life, but fear of not being good enough for him.

Could I be there for him in all his needs?
Could I help make all his dreams come true?
Could I love him with everything I had?

Then you left. No notice, no warning, in a blink of an eye you were no longer here. My world came to a crashing halt and shattered before my eyes. A part of my heart where I held you so close, broke and now is left with emptiness, pain and grief.

I sit here ten years later and think if I could just have one more moment with you.

I would give my legs to have one more moment to walk with you!

I would give up speaking if I could just for one moment tell you how much I love you!

I would give up my eyes to see your face for just one moment!

I would give up my arms to hold you for just one moment!

I would give up my life and all I have to spend just one more moment with you and have you say the one word I long to hear again…….”MOM!”

I love you my dear son!

Feb. 18, 1982-Nov. 10, 1999

Don’t ever forget to tell those you love, how much you really do LOVE THEM!

Homeless Sue

Recent article from the Idaho Statesman:

Homeless Boiseans sue over public camping ban

The suit says enforcing the rule amounts to cruel and unusual punishment in a city where shelters are overflowing.

BY REBECCA BOONE - The Associated Press
Published: 11/09/09

The lawsuit, filed last month in federal court by seven residents, echoes similar cases popping up around the nation, all targeting rules that advocates say amount to the criminalization of homelessness.

On any given night, the suit contends, between 2,000 and 4,500 people are homeless in Idaho's capital city, and only about 700 of them will be able to get a bed or a mat on the floor in one of the area's shelters. The others have no choice but to violate city ordinances against camping or sleeping in public, the filing states.

"Boise police officers routinely issue camping citations to homeless residents for sleeping, sitting, or talking with friends in public places - activities non-homeless residents have the freedom to engage in without fear of police interference," the group writes in the lawsuit, filed in the names of Janet F. Bell, Brian S. Carson, Craig Fox, Robert Martin, Lawrence Lee Smith, Robert Anderson and Pamela S. Hawkins.

Boise City Attorney Scott Muir said he couldn't comment on pending litigation.

But Tulin Ozdegre, an attorney with the National Center on Homelessness and Poverty who is representing the Boise homeless residents in the lawsuit, said the poor economy and high foreclosure rate mean the ranks of the homeless will continue to grow.

"Many communities around the country are seeing a dramatic rise in the number of homeless people, and most cities don't have the resources to meet the need," she said. "Currently we're involved in a couple other lawsuits as well. In St. Petersburg, Fla., we're challenging a number of laws and practices there targeting homeless people. And we have another lawsuit in the city of Dallas with a different twist, over a law that restricts groups from sharing food with homeless people in public spaces."

Cities nationwide are dealing with similar issues. Honolulu began enforcing an overnight camping ban at a local park a year ago, but in October the City Council shelved a measure that would have made it illegal to sleep on the sidewalk after some members questioned how it would affect the homeless.

Homeless advocates sued the city of Portland last year over an anti-camping ordinance, a case that is now in settlement negotiations. In October, the California city of Laguna Beach created a sleeping area for the homeless in response to a lawsuit that claimed the city was harassing disabled homeless residents. The ACLU sued Santa Barbara, Calif., in March, contending that an ordinance banning nighttime sleeping on public property unfairly criminalized the homeless.

On Tuesday, Boise City Council members are expected to hear on third reading a measure that would clarify the word "camping" to mean the use of public property as a sojourn or a place of residence anytime between sunset and sunrise. The change also states that storing personal belongings, cooking or making a fire in an unauthorized area also indicates that someone is camping.

The plaintiffs in the case don't have addresses or phone numbers and couldn't be immediately reached. But they detailed their circumstances in the lawsuit.

Martin, who is mentally ill, has a physical disability and has been homeless on and off for 11 years - since he was 18 - has been cited twice this year for sleeping near local shelters, according to the lawsuit. Martin contends he can't walk far because of his disability, which means he can't hike out of town to sleep and then back in to get to a soup kitchen where he can shower, clean his clothes and eat. Smith lived in his camper van until it was stolen, and now often sleeps along the Boise River, according to the lawsuit. After getting two camping citations in 2007, Smith says he served 100 days in jail. He also lost his tent, stove and fishing equipment after the arrest, he said, making it harder to survive without shelter.

The homeless residents are asking the court to order the city to expunge their records of any homeless person wrongly ticketed, to pay damages and to declare that the city's actions violated constitutional rights of homeless residents.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Finding God Again!

I wrote a blog a long time ago called “Finding God in the small things” or something to that sort. I told about how when I started going to the park that the Lord would show me or reveal himself to me in the small things. He would direct my attention to someone and show me how He sees them. Someone who you just could not reach, you would pray for time and time again and one day He would breakdown the walls of their heart and they would just open up. He showed me the special love He has for each and every one of his children and most of all the deep unconditional love He has. There are thousands of things I learned about the heart and love of the Father there in the park.

Today after the park, one of the guys asked if I would give him a ride back to the halfway house where he was staying. Hippie dude (my nickname for him) has been one of those that I have known since the first time going to the park. The first six months of knowing him, well I can’t say I knew him; he actually wouldn’t give me the time of day to tell you the truth. Those first few months I would respect his boundaries, offer him something to eat and let God deal with the rest. One day as I was leaving I heard someone yell “Hey sister”, I turned to see who had yelled and it was Hippie dude. I thought okay here we go. I have been yelled at, cussed out and many other things those first months in the park and here I thought I was going to get it again. The Lord taught me well in this area. My first instinct when this happened would be to fight back. Thank you Lord for speaking to me before I would open my mouth. He would very gently speak to my heart and would say, “They have been hurt and are still hurting. They don’t want to be hurt anymore, so they try and push you away. If they let you in, they are afraid you will hurt them more. So, just love them period.” So like I said I was ready for what every Hippie dude was going to dish out and I would react in way I always did, stand there smile, let them vent on me and as I would leave I would just say “I still love you.” The look on their face was always priceless. That day though Hippie dud just very calmly looked at me and said “I love you.” God was opening up a heart. Things happen slowly in the park and little things like that may not seem like much to some, but to me that is a beautiful move of God.

So we flash forward a year and a half and people are comfortable with us now. They open up more freely and they let the walls down much quicker. They feel safe and they feel loved. Today Hippie dude loaded up his bike and we headed down the street to his place. He turned to me and said “Hey sister, are you like religious?” I told him that I think that being religious and having faith are to different things. That anyone can be religious, but I had a deep faith. I told him I was a Christian and that my faith and love for Christ was very special to me. “Oh” was the response I got from him. Then he turns again and says “you guys are different and not now, but can we talk about it one day?” “Anytime you want to my friend, anytime” was my response. God was working all this time in my friend’s heart and I missed it. We had gone from complete rejection to trust, to acceptance, “I love you” and friendship, but God didn’t stop there.

I started looking for God in the big things, not seeing or hearing Him as often, then I found Him again still working on the small things, where He does His biggest work…in the Heart! May I continue to see the transformation that the love of God can do in someone’s heart and life, no matter how long it takes. May I never stop seeing or hearing Him in all the small things. It’s the small things that I long for! It’s the matters of the heart that I want to stay focused on, everything else God will take care of!