In the Little things

God never stops amazing me. We had a small group of people show up in the park today and inquire about what we do there. We shared a lot things with them and hope to have the chance to share more. One thing I pointed out to them is, if they are looking for big grand moves of God down here in the park then they will miss God in the little things. Things like the Lord putting a smile on a face that has not smiled in a long time or a heart that is letting it's walls down. I also explained that it is the quiet moments after we are done serving that we get to see God move on the people.  Not more than a few minutes later, guess who made his presence known?

 

We are standing in a circle, all talking and one of the women from the park walks right thru everyone, stands in the middle of the circle and states I need prayer. The group that came down were very loving and kind to our friend, surrounded her, loved on her and prayed for her. I stepped back when she asked for prayer, not that I didn't want to pray with her, but I wanted to see how this group would react. I also had to step back and take in what was going on. The woman asking for prayer is a regular of ours and has been coming to the park for years. She usually has had way to much to drink, is lots of times angry, has more walls surrounding her heart than you can imagine and doesn't really engage with us. So for this woman to come over and boldly step into a group of people she doesn't know,  then make herself vulnerable and bare her heart....this is a move of God. These are the moments that put a smile on my face, make my heart jump for joy and bring tears to my eyes. These little moves of the Lord bring hope to a hopeless heart, love to someone who doesn't feel worthy of love and changes the lives of all who are present.

 

Let them see You

Let it be your feet and your footsteps that I follow, footsteps that will  take me to places no one else will go.  Let it be your hands thru me, that will touch and hold those that no one else will hold. Let it be your eyes that I see others thru, let me see the treasure each one holds, let me see how precious they are  in your sight and the love you have for them. Share your   heart so I can feel the compassion you have for all. Most of all Lord when I look upon them and see you, may they also in turn look and see you in me.

Alone

I never understood for the longest time why women on the streets would bounce from one man to the next, but then you learn that it is a form of survival. Even though the women are some of the strongest  people I have met, they are still at risk when being alone on the streets . A man provides a form of protection, even though that may come at a cost to the woman. I have seen women do everything from standing on a street corner panhandling to selling them selves to make money for their man. When that man leaves for one reason or another, you see many of the women take up with another. In other cases they try to make it on their own. This is the case of one that I had a conversation with a few weeks ago. Her man will be spending about six months in jail and she says she will not get with anyone else. This has left her being a target. She stood crying, telling me how those who claimed to be her friends are now hounding her to sleep with them and if she refuses, they beat her. She said that no matter what, she won't do it, she won't give in and she will survive on her one. In the week to follow she was doing good. The next week she showed up with a couple of guys whom she said were taking care of her. The last few weeks I have not seen her and I worry about her. I pray that she is alright. Pray for these women. Pray for their safety.

HOPE

I was not conceived out of love, but out of a need of a high. She sold her body for a quick fix and in that moment the miracle of life began to form in her body. At the same moment that miracle started, I also started fighting, fighting to survive the poison that ran thru her veins. For nine months I fought to enter this world, maybe even then I had hope of a bright future.
Even after I arrived I fought to survive. She stayed clean long enough to give birth, not for my sake but for hers, for if they found drugs in her or me she would have been take in to jail and I would have been put in foster care. You see I was her meal ticket. She brought me home and she seemed to be overjoyed to have me in her life, even then I had hope she would give me a good life.
As time pasted the poison she once craved came calling again and I saw less and less of her. I would cry out in hunger, for need to be taken care of and in need of love. She had to make a choice and one day she laid me down and walked away. Alone and scared I cried out for someone, anyone to come to my rescue. Someone came, I don’t know whom, but I found myself in a home that seemed nice. I had hope that this is where I could be happy, safe and loved.
This home instead was a place of neglect and abuse. I was a monthly check for them and was left to fend for myself, again alone and on my own. As I grew older I would find myself more and more wandering the streets, looking for a place to belong, someone to care and a hope for a brighter future.
I never found any of that on the streets. I found more hurt, pain, loneliness and an escape from the world that I had once hoped in. I found the demon, the poison that ran thru my mother’s veins. The sweet release of the pain of this world, transporting me to a place with no worries, no pain and the numbness that blocked out the need for companionship or love. So now I follow in her footsteps, I sell my body to acquire a few moments of being released from this world, a few moments of feeling warm and a few moments of being transported to a place where the world seems like not such a painful place to be. A place where I forget about my hopes, hopes that in time will fade.
I now spend my days wandering the streets, trying to stay numb, trying to survive. Funny that this is how I started my life, poison running thru me, fighting to survive and this is how my life will end also. I am once again discarded, not looked upon, treated like the trash that you put out on the side of the road, this time discarded by the world. I spend my days watching you and there are times when I still have that hope I once had. Now it is a hope that one day you will see me for who I am, what I could have been and for the special person I am, but most of all I hope that one day you will look me in the eyes and tell me I matter and I am loved.

All the torment, struggles, pain and abuse I went thru all my life would be worth it if you could just tell me I have worth. When I close my eyes and take my last breath and find myself sitting at the feet of our creator, I want to look up into his eyes and with a smile on my face, I want to tell him of the wonderful person who extended a kind word, put their arms around me and for once in my life told me I had worth, but most of all showed me I was loved. I hope you are the person I will speak to him about. I will be waiting here for you to show me were I can find hope once again. You can’t miss me, there are many of us and we are all around you, you just need open eyes to see us and a loving heart to love us.
A street friend

Taking a lesson from a friend

I just got off work today. Was complaining to myself about how tired I was and all I wanted to do was go home and lay on the couch, but needed to stop and get gas and pick up a few things at the store.
I got my gas and turned the corner to drive into the parking lot of the store and on the corner was our friend from the park. This is his corner and can be found there almost everyday. He flies a sign, but instead of taking money he prefers to work for what he gets. An older gentleman, his eyesight fading, but he has the gentlest soul about him. As I passed I waved and when he didn’t respond I remembered he couldn’t see that far and would have not know that I waved at him.
As I got out of my truck and headed into the store, he was also making his way in as well. I called out his name and caught up with him. As we walked in the store together I asked how he was doing and as usual he tells me fine, but I can see in his face that all is not well.
“So tell me what is wrong my fiend “ I said to him.

He tells me that it has been 41 months and as not had a problem until now. I didn’t understand the 41 months part and asked him to explain. He has been camping out for 41 months along the river and yesterday the police found his camp. They came thru his camp and dumped everything in the river. Everything this man owned was tossed out like trash.
I was stunned to hear this and even more stunned that this man will have to endure the cold weather with nothing to protect him from the elements. I asked what I could do for him. He said he can get a sleeping bag, but could use a new tent. I told him I would see what I could do.
He said he was grateful for the help, but told me that he was not worried and then went on to tell me that he was not upset about it. He said, “look I still have my health, I can still see somewhat, I have good friends who care about me and I have the good Lord looking after me, what more do I need. God will provide what I need.”
I looked at this man who stood before me with nothing and I mean nothing and he still was in a good mood and was smiling. Ten minutes before I was complaining to myself about being tired and wanting to go home to my warm house.

My friend stands in the bitter cold looking for someone to offer him work and he will probably spend all day outside just to receive a few bucks to make through to the next day. After spending his day doing this he then will spend the rest of his evening camped along the river trying to survive the night, just to get up and do it all over again. The next time you complain about having to get up and go to work or having to take care of the house you live in, remember our friend and remember how truly blessed you are.
By the way…if you have a tent we can give him, let me know.

Two Sets of Rules

Over the years of serving those without homes, I have learned that there are unspoken rules for those who have and for those who have not. After I picked my son up from roller derby practice Monday night, I saw another example of that. It was late and we had not had dinner and decided to stop and grab a burger on the way home.


I stopped at one of local burger chains and as we went inside, there were two gentlemen who had came in as well. Both older, clean and well dressed, the only difference you could see between the two was the fact that one was carrying a backpack. The one with the backpack sat in a back corner, in a spot were no one could see him except those entering or leaving from side door. The other sat in the middle of the place in full view of anyone coming or going. The one in the back corner began playing a game of solitary and the other asked for a glass of water and sat to read the paper.


As we waited for our order, I had noticed that I knew the man in the back corner from the park and I waved and got ready to go over and talk to him. As I started over the manager of the place came out from behind the counter and started to speak to him, so I decided I would wait until she was done talking to him. My son stood with me talking to me about practice, but I kept my ear tuned to the conversation in the corner. As the conversation in the corner started to heat up, I found myself slowly inching closer to hear, my son sat down and just shook his head. I asked him “What?” He just laughed and said “We are going to be here for awhile.” Okay so by now my son knows me well enough that I can’t walk away in a situation like that.


As the manager left I walked over to ask what the problem was and what was going on. Our park guy said he came in to wait for his wife to get off work. Let me give you a little back ground on our park guy. He has lost his job and has not been able to find work. His wonderful wife has been able to find work, part time at a radio station just down the street from the burger joint. Because of only part time work, the only place they have to stay is in the camper they have. Neither is on drugs or drinks. Very wonderful people who only are trying to make it in this world. Back to the manager, she had stated to him that he would have to leave, they there was a policy that stated that you could only stay in the place for thirty minutes, unless you were a paying customer. He explained that he was only waiting for his wife to get off work and would not be there long. She didn’t care and wanted him out. If he didn’t leave she was going to call the police.


Now besides my son, myself, the other older gentleman reading the paper, the only other person in the place was our park friend. I asked the manager “If this gentlman has to leave, then why is the other not asked to leave as well?” “That’s different, he comes often and is not bothering any of the costumers.” She stated. I asked her “what costumers are being bothered by our friend sitting in the corner, there is no one in here.” “It’s just different for him” she stated.


“So let me get this right. Our friend can’t stay because he is not a paying costumer and the other can stay because he asked for a glass of water that he didn’t pay for?”


“Yes, it’s different” she said.


“So were is your policy posted that you can only stay thirty minutes unless you are a paying customer?”


Once again she didn’t have a strait answer and could not show anywhere that it was posted. I asked how someone was to know that policy just walking in off the street, still no answer. She then stated that he needed to get out and promptly walked off. So I promptly walked over to our friend reached in my purse and pulled a five-dollar bill. Are you hungry or thirsty I asked him? No, I just wanted to wait for my wife; she will be off work soon. I said go buy something to drink, even if you don’t drink it and sit back down, you will then be a paying customer and they won’t have any reason to ask you to leave. He smiled, took the bill and walked to the counter. The same lady looked at him and refused to take his order, so my son and I stood with him until someone waited on him. Finally someone took his drink order and we all sat and chatted for a while.


My son and I had to leave, but as we were leaving our park friend handed me back the change from the drink. I told him to please hold onto it and if she came back to make him leave again, go over and buy something else and you just keep doing that until your wife gets off work. We laughed, hugged and left, telling our friend that we would see him soon.


Now before anyone gets upset, I do know that restaurants can’t just let people come in and hangout. They are there to make money. My point to all this is we have two different people doing the same thing. Coming in to a place that is pretty much empty, neither buying anything and both minding their own business in different parts of the restaurant. One who did not buy anything, but has been in from time to time is allowed to stay. The other because he is homeless was asked to leave. She stated he was bothering customers (the only customers were us and he was not bothering us) and who was she to determine who was worthy enough to sit and stay inside?


Once again the unspoken rules for those who have and those who have not, for those who are accepted by society and those who have been rejected. When will we be begin to look at others and see the worth and beauty they have inside of them and not determine a persons value based on their appearance or what processions they may have?

A Lesson in Giving

Today was a great day in the park. There were only three of us to serve, Kathryn and James were there to help, and others had things to do today. I was a head of schedule before going down and I should have known things never go that well. Every time I think I am a head of getting things done, something throws me off course. I got to the park and sure enough, I grabbed the wrong totes, and so no plates, ladle or anything else I needed to serve. Hey at least I remembered the tables (yes, I forgot them once and had to serve out of the back of the truck). We did have the bowls for the soup and we made makeshift plates, used a cup to scoop soup and so forth. The guys laughed and said it was like camping.


Right before we served one of the guys came up and out of a hat dumped some change on the table; this is for you he said. We all decided to take up what we had to give back for what you all do here, it is the end of the month and this is all we had, but wanted you to have it. We love you guys and we just want to show you how much we appreciate you all he said.

What really was a shock was the person whom it came from. This man we met last year. A loner, would come and eat, not look you in the eyes and barely say anything. Would always take his plate and take off away from us. Each week we would just keep loving on him when he came thru the line and over time he would start to warm up to us. If you saw him then and now you would not have believed he was the same person. He is one of the first there to greet us now, always ready to engage in conversation and today for the first time I heard him very softly say “I love you.”

So there on the table laid a little over four dollars, but in my mind it was a million. They dug deep in their pockets and gave all that they had to show how much we mean to them. They gave with love from their hearts, not asking for anything in return…they gave out of love for another. An example we can learn from. I walk away from the park today thinking of my friends there and think about what a honor it is to be called friend by them and what a blessing it is to spend time with them each week.

I couldn’t have asked for a better day to spend our fourth anniversary of serving in the park and as we close on our fourth year and begin our fifth, I pray that we will be able to continue loving on those who others have forgotten.

ANGELS

What a beautiful day in the park. The sun shinned brightly on the park today. Secretly wishing we could have days like this every Sunday, but was reminded by many of our friends of the cold that was going to be upon us soon.


Wonderful people to share the day with, not just our friends in the park, but all that showed up to help serve and those who brought food. Thanks to all of you that help. Was good to see an old friend return, her kind and loving heart was missed and also missed those who could not be with us this weekend. All of you bring so much more to the park than words can say.

My son and I had stayed for a little while today, just wanted to sit and hang out with everyone in the park. One of the guys came up to me, he has been coming down for a long time and he said he had something for me. He pulled out of his pocket a metal angel on a chain. He said that he had traded something for it and as he was sitting at the picnic table with the others, they all decided that I should have it. He said that he heard I like crosses and angels and that I like to hang them on my wall at home. I told him that was correct. Would you please take this one and hang it on your wall he asked. I would love to hang it on the wall, I told him and every time I see it I will be reminded of you.

As the two of us stood talking, I started to think of his gift to me. He traded something for it. Our friends’ possessions are few and what they do have, they hang onto dearly. He could have traded it for something he could use or needed, but instead he gave it with a generous loving heart, knowing it would bring joy. He gave out of love and that is what makes this gift so precious.

I then asked him if I could hang it on my rearview mirror instead of the wall of my house. I told him that at home I would see from time to time on the wall, but in my truck I would be reminded of him and the others everyday as I traveled about doing things. He thought that was a great idea. James, my son, carefully put the angel on the mirror; we talked with the gentleman a little longer and headed home.

On my rearview mirror I have had a cross that was made by a biker many years ago and as we started down the road the angel would clang against that cross. I wasn’t a loud clang, but a soft gentle sound. Not distracting, but a reminder of “I am here”. I started to think of the angel, our friends in the park and those who come to serve. Are some angels in disguise? I don’t know. I do know that when I step back on days like today, watch and listen to all around me, I see the beauty of my Creator, the giving heart of my heavenly Father and love that was so poured out to us thru his Son. Each week I look into faces of all who show up, no matter which side of the table they are on and I am humbled and honored to be there with them.

So my little clanging angel will stay on my rearview mirror. A reminder of all those angels I encounter each Sunday. A reminder of all the love that is poured out from both sides of the table.

From the pages of Rick Dorey

Pastor Rick and his wife April have been coming to the park now for awhile. He has written many things on the park and I would like to share them with you. Below is a link to his latest blog...take a moment to read it. Be blessed and remember your loved.
http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fnewchoicesfellowship.org%2Fslider%2Fface-grace%2F&h=-AQBOBmKOAQAoRfblOacK0vTRBsENJckl8UvxSpkv_FH6tQ

Peace

Peace has not been apart of my week this week. I will save you the details, but it seems like one thing after another has come at me and after arriving at the park today, I was drained. While serving our friends I was questioning, “What are we doing here and do we make a difference?” We got most of the people through the line and then I needed to step back.
I stood by myself for a few and looked around at the large crowd of people gathered. I saw people I had never seen before, kids playing, and groups of people laughing and enjoying the warm sunny day. Inside I was begging God, “please speak to me…show and tell me what you what me to see.” “Look at them all” he says to me. “These are my beloved children, who I love very much and I have entrusted them to all of you.” But are we making a difference in their lives? “You all bring peace to their weary souls and show love to broken hearts and the greatest gift you can give someone is love.” But are we really I stood wondering.
Then a man I had never met before approached me and introduced himself as Robert. He said he never comes down to the park, because of all the fighting that goes on, but wanted to get something to eat. He said that right before we pulled up, he was just getting on his bike to head out because he couldn’t take the arguing and fighting that was going on. He then tells me that as soon as we pulled up, no one said anything but something happened. He said a calm came over everyone and a sense of peace came over the park. Look at them all now, he says, they are all laughing, joking and getting along. It wasn’t like that before you all showed up. Then he goes on to tell me that a friend gave him a gift. He reaches in his pack and pulls out a peace sign and tells me his friend told him he would find peace today. He asked if I painted and I replied that I did. Giving me his peace sign he asked if I wouldn’t paint it for him, it would be my honor I told him. Then looking me straight in the eyes, he says “The peace of God is a powerful thing and you all carry his peace with you.” I stood there floored as he continued to talk, but all I could hear was this man’s words and God’s from earlier ringing in my ears.
Who was this man? Ever hear the phrase “entertaining angels?” Funny how God can use an old scruffy man who has had a few drinks that day to speak volumes to you and remind you that his peace is ever present and he is in control.

No Preaching Allowed by Pam Hogeweide http://burnsidewriters.com/2011/06/14/no-preaching-allowed/

In the mid-section of her ordinary life, my friend Denie, whom I’ve known since before we were old enough to vote, felt what she described as a call of God to minister to the homeless. She wasn’t sure what that meant for her life, but she was full of faith and unction that she had received a bonafide assignment from the Holy Spirit. She began volunteering at the city shelter. but within six months she realized that it wasn’t working out. “I don’t mean to sound like what they’re doing isn’t good, because it is, but it doesn’t feel personal to me. These poor people come in day in and day out and they just push them along like cattle. I can’t do that.” And so, she was back to square one. If the Almighty had given her marching orders to demonstrate His love and compassion towards the homeless— and she wholeheartedly believed he had—then she felt certain that there must be a better way.




On an ordinary Saturday, full of the same faith and unction that got her up and out the door to volunteer at the shelter, Denie and her trusty blue truck, headed to another place she knew she’d find the city’s homeless: The Park. With a bag of bologna and cheese sandwiches and bottles of water, she slowly made her way around the shady grassed areas where men and women lounged from the summer heat. “You hungry?” she’d ask with an almost nonchalant detached tone in her voice. This was her way of going in low, gentle attempts at connecting to the most invisible citizens of Boise, Idaho.



Week after week she kept this up. About this time my good friend Ken Loyd was headed to Boise for an event. Ken launched a church for homeless people in Portland, Oregon, a mere seven-hour drive from Boise and where my family and I make our home. I told Denie about Ken, how he was the same as her. “He’s been going downtown for years,” I said, “handing out socks, food and lots of conversation. He’s the guy you wanna talk to.” Then, I told Ken about Denie. “You gotta meet her Ken. You guys are the same.”



The two did meet and though they both are on the quiet side, Denie tells me they managed to have a meaningful conversation, one that helped her find her way as a rookie on the frontlines of street ministry from Ken, the older, wiser veteran. After Ken got back from Boise I asked him about his impression of Denie and what she was doing in the park. “In all the years of people I have talked to, not many get what I’m about. But Denie gets it. She’s like me and I think she’ll be fine.”



What they share in common in ethos and practice is a determination to meet people right where they are in the gritty sub-culture of American homelessness. One starting point was the word homeless …neither Ken nor Denie liked to use it.



“Homeless means loser in our society. It means you’ve failed. But I don’t see failures. I see friends. These are my friends who live outside and I love them and they love me,” says Ken who at sixty-plus in years with his snow-white spiky hair and tattoos scattered on both arms looks more like a pirate than a minister. “I do nothing special by just paying attention and listening.” My friend Denie said the same kind of things. She was already forming this ministry approach when I connected her to Ken who affirmed her. “He told me to go slow, to start off by just sitting and watching and hanging out in the park since I’m the one coming into their home,” she said.



So Denie kept it up, mostly by herself. She’d bring a few sandwiches each Saturday and just hang out in the park. Every week. Every Saturday. While other women grocery shopped and gardened, Denie hung out with street sleepers. Weeks turned into months and before long The Park Guys, as she liked to call them, were rushing up to help her unload her truck. The guys had names and histories and Denie knew all their stories.



Her consistency in coming to the park each week meant that word had spread through Boise’s homeless network. More people were showing up each week. Within a year a hundred people or more were being served by Denie’s homespun cooking who had graduated from sandwiches to hot meals like soup and pasta. With this kind of success, if you can call it that, she also attracted attention from cowboy types who were gunning to get their preach on. “That’s not how we do it down here,” she’d tell each newbie who was itching to have an audience. “Talk to people one on one. Get to know them. Ask them questions. Listen. But no preaching.” Denie had learned, like Ken, that most people who live outside can smell a bait and switch game a mile away. When Christians show up willing to give away food or other goods, but have an agenda to convert the hell-bound sinner, those who live outside pick up this scent of disingenuous conversation as you and I do when the telemarketer’s voice purrs over the line, “I just need a moment of your time.”



One young graduate of seminary somehow caught wind of Denie and began showing up at the park. She was open to his help, but nervous about how gung-ho he acted. He was lacking humility, she decided, but she figured he’d catch on soon enough and be alright. Unfortunately he soon thought of the park as his ministry and Denie as a womanly helper who had opened the door for him. She set the record straight quick. He never came back.



A couple of summers ago I was in Boise with my good friend Vivian and together we helped Denie and the small team of people who had made spaghetti and meatballs for the park people. Denie walked around, checking in on everybody, saying hey to regulars and introducing herself to newcomers. The Idaho sky blazed blue from above as people feasted on food and laughter. It felt like a family picnic.
A couple of weeks ago my church helped out with a meal for HOMEpdx. We met outside under the Hawthorne Bridge where the church meets each week to share friendship, food and humanity with those who live outside. I met one older man who’s a Viet Nam vet, a kind but at times scattered soul who loves to create origami art for friends. One moment he was talking about getting more paper for art, the next he was suddenly telling me about the guys who died in his unit in the Viet Nam war. I let him ramble. Then I preached the love of Jesus to him the way Denie and Ken showed me how to: I just listened as he told his story.
I got an email from Ken today. I told him I was writing an article about him and Denie that emphasized his guiding wisdom being a beacon for my friend when she first started to venture to the park in her early days. Ken quickly dismantled this idea. “Denie has shown me about sticking to the task of love in the face of trial and sorrow. She has demonstrated a quiet authority while bowing low. I’m trying to copy that. I think I’ve learned more from her than from anyone else in the “biz”.” These two undoubtedly share a mutual admiration for one another as there are not many urban missionaries who have blazed the kind of trail which they have.

A few years ago I would not have accepted what Ken and Denie do as legitimate gospel-centered ministry. I would have wanted to know why they don’t preach a clear cut appeal for people to get saved; it would have bothered me that there is too much camaraderie and not nearly enough discipleship. I would have asked, ‘Where’s the fruit?” In doing so, I would have missed the point that if God hangs out with the broken hearted and the poor like the Holy Scriptures say, then Ken and Denie are following in their Father’s footsteps.
Denie still gets challenged from time to time by those who feel that she’s not doing enough (imagine!). She hangs on, though, to the heart of her mission which has always been to find and love the forgotten castaways. She comforts herself that even if others don’t recognize the worth of what she’s doing, there’s a pirate in Portland who does. “Ken is the person who came along side and understood that by just loving and accepting our friends’ right where they were was the greatest example of God’s love we could show anyone.”
That’s a helluva sermon for a non-preaching preacher-woman like Denie to spread each week in the park…To which I say, Amen and amen.

Homeless in Boise

I post my thoughts and perspective as to what goes on in the park. A dear couple recently came down to the park and I wanted to share what they wrote on their experience in the park.

Homeless In Boise - There is still much to be done.by New Choices Fellowship on Monday, May 16, 2011 at 2:11pm

It was a rainy Sunday afternoon as we pulled up around 4:30 to help a good friend in ministry to feed the homeless here in Boise. There was no fan fare. There was no recognition on the News as a local hero. There was just a willingness to help an unnoticed ministry feed and minister to some of the many homeless found here in Boise.

There are many places to volunteer in Boise and other parts of the country. April and I choose to look for those unsung hero's to help and lift up their spirits. You know the ones, they don't do it for the money or recognition. They do it out of love. Mosaic ministries is one of those types of ministries. Denie has been in the streets for many years. She goes where all the other folks won't go. She loves and holds dear the ones that many are even scared to talk to. A finer example of God's love I have only seen on rare occasions.

We went down to help because she was saying she was feeding so many that she had little time to minister to the ones in need of some one to talk with or to receive a warm look to remind them how they are loved and worthy. We knew they need her ministry and it was little to ask to give up the time and be in service to someone that gives so much of her time and resources.

I saw on the news that evening a tribute to one of the valley's largest churches. They feed on average the report said 200 or so people every Sunday. They have 150 volunteers to support the feed the homeless program. Mosaic ministries does 100-200 with 4 people that prepare the food and serve while they minister with a personal touch to many of them that go through the line. Their resources come from outside donation and personal sacrifice. Little is made much when God's hand is in it and he has such willing hearts to work with.

That time spent with each one didn't get ignored with the weather or the state each one coming through the line was in. Each where treated as family and with respect to welcome and listen to them. The stories were heart breaking and awakening at the same time. I admit in one afternoon I learned more about the human condition and strength than I could have in years of schooling and theory. I watched God work through a woman that taught me more about loving others than I thought I still had yet to learn.

It was an honor to help and be in service to her and to the beautiful souls she is there to care for. It made me so much more aware of the work left to be done by those of us that can do it. Lives are given hope when they know that someone really cares. Many workers are needed but few will make the sacrifice to serve and give up so much to take care of those in need.

I found out another secret though. Life in service to others has it own rewards and challenges. Denie is one of those special Holy Spirit/Mother Teresa kind of people that we rarely get to know in our lives. April and I will be back to help her again and again. I don't believe we have to leave the country to touch the hearts and souls of those in need. If we look a little closer they are right here in our back yard. If you are called to serve, be called to support and pray for those that are. Remember God calls us all to our own action to help. For some it will be by donations of time and effort and others by the ability to supply resources.

There is more than any one person can do, listen to your own song and see what God calls you to do. For when each of us sings in tune the world is changed one life at a time. I know for certain that a life was saved by love in that crowd yesterday and many where given another day of hope even under the dark grey skies and the pouring rain that was soon to come.

Be blessed and be a blessing to some one.

Share the road with a fellow traveler

It was suppose to be a cold wet rainy Easter Sunday, but God smiled on us today and gave us a beautiful day in the park. Many of our regular street friends and many new faces showed up to share a meal with us. As much as I love hanging out with all that show up, there are the times when the crowd leaves and a handful remain and you get the chance to sit one on one with someone and really get to know that person. The end of our day was one of those times.

If you passed him on the streets or saw him in the park, many would at first glance say “Oh, just another homeless drunk guy.” Yes, he had been drinking but when he began to tell me a little of his story, his mind was clear and passion flowed from his heart. He spoke of a beautiful woman he fell in love with as a young man. Head over heals for her and how nervous he was to ask her to marry him. After they married he said she wanted to spend their honey moon in the Holy Land, so he made sure that is were they went and he talked of the amazing time they had there. They started a family and life was going good for them. He worked as an EMT as well as going to seminary school. He dreamed of becoming a preacher and his wife started a street outreach in Portland. She was helping women who were prostituting themselves get off the streets. Life couldn’t have been better he said.

Then one morning as he was on his way to school with his family in the car a truck hit them. The only person who was injured was his wife and as she lay dying, he frantically tried to save her. She never made it and his world came crashing down. The love of his life was gone and his heart forever broken. His life spiraled downward, his hopes and dreams were shattered and he turned his back on the God he once loved. Years of torment over not being able to save his wife and hatred toward God brought him to the life he now lives, wandering the streets and drinking to kill the pain of a love lost. You see the pain in his eyes when he speaks of her and you see it in each tear that flows down his face. Then he begins to smile and he tells me, but I no longer hate God for taking her. He then pulls his shirt to the side and shows me a tattoo. He tells me, you see Jesus is first in my life now; I have him tattooed over my heart because he comes first in my heart. He says he asks God to forgive him for drinking, but he has come to a point were he can’t seem to stop without help. His drinking has brought on liver failer, but he tells me this with no regrets or fear in his voice, yet instead with a smile in on his face. I ask if I can pray for him and he say sure, but tells me he is okay with it because he can’t wait to see Jesus and his love again. There is much more to this man than what you see from the outside, if you only will take a moment to see past what the world sees.

Each of us a road we must walk, a journey that is each our own. Each step on that journey makes up whom we are. Some have someone to hold their hands or help them when they stubble and others may not. No matter what, our journey has brought us to where we are today. The questions is can we take the time out of our own journey and stray of the road in front of us to maybe help up and hold the hand of a fellow traveler who has stumbled and fallen. Taking the time to understand their journey and maybe showing them a new road to take or better yet, maybe even sharing the journey and traveling the road together, helping each other along the way.



Where is the compassion?

So I am on my way home from work last week and as I come to an intersection by one of our local parks, I see a fire truck and two police cars parked along side the park. Lights flashing and since it is five o’clock traffic I assume it is a car accident. Because of the traffic I had to sit thru a couple of red lights before making it thru the intersection, but as I sat in traffic I was looking to see what was going on with the fire truck and police. There was no car accident, but instead I had noticed a man lying in the park with three firemen and two police officers standing around him. It only took a minute to recognize the man lying in the grass, he was one from the park and I know him well. This particular man has a special place in my heart. I first panicked because he was not moving and thought the worst. He has an addiction to alcohol and I prayed that we had not lost another to this addiction. Then sitting in my car three lanes over from the park and no way of getting to my friend, I saw what just stunned me. No one bent over to see if he was okay, no one offered a helping hand, but instead they kicked this man to see if he would move and yes he did move after that, I think anyone would have. He got to his feet and they placed him in the police car. The light turned green for me to go and I drove home with tears running down my face for my friend and furious over the lack of compassion that was given to him. If a man was standing the park kicking his dog, he would be hauled off for animal cruelty, why is it then okay to kick another human being for just laying down and sleeping it off in the park. Where has our compassion for people gone?

What brought me here?

As you pass by you see the tattered clothes, the dirty face and the hollow eyes of what once was. As soon as our eyes meet, you quickly look away. Do you realize I long for you to see me for who I am and not what you have judged me to be?
Molested at the age of nine, but the molester said but “I love you.” Brought up by a parent who was an alcoholic, abusive not just physically but also mentally, but said, “I love you.” A spouse who beat me, but said “I love you.” The world said if you become this or do that and be the best we will “love you,” but they never did.

I found myself on the streets at seventeen looking for that love that was so promised to me. I thought I could find it in random people on the streets, but did not. I thought I could find it in alcohol that I consumed, but did not. Nor did I find it in the hands full of drugs I had taken, but it did take away my pain. In return it has began to take my life from me. The world promised me love and rejected me. Now you pass by and judge me for what I have become when it is some of you who have made me what I am.

So the next time you pass me by, don’t be so quick to judge as to why you see me wandering the streets. Maybe next time you will not look away and maybe just maybe even give me a kind smile that says “I see you for who you were created to be and I can love you right where your at.”…. Anonymous.

Christmas is just another day!

I was driving to work this week and passed one of our guys from the park, flying a sign. It read “CHRISTMAS-it’s just another day when you are homeless.” My heart ached as the reality of this sunk in. Most of us will gather with family and friends, sit down to a wonderful cooked meal; spend the day laughing and enjoying each other’s company. Our friends will be outside in the cold, some alone with no place to go and no family or friends to share the day with.


About a month ago I asked our friends in the park “if you could have one thing for Christmas what would it be?” They all responded that they would like a place to hangout, get out of the cold and share the day with other people. So that is what we have decided to give our friends on the streets. We will not cancel this coming Saturday’s dinner just because it is Christmas, but instead will be spending it with them, like my son said “it would be like spending it with family anyway.”

We will open the church up early and let our friends have the day to hangout and enjoy movies, games and an awesome dinner. We will open the doors at noon and probably start serving about one in the afternoon and go until the last one leaves. It is going to be a great time and I am really looking forward to spending the day with all.

It is going to take a lot to pull this off and we have taken care of most of it. We have the main meal taken care of, but are looking for people to help with side dishes and desserts. If this is something you might be interested in helping with please contact us. Every little bit helps and it will bless many who otherwise will be spending Christmas alone.
Merry Christmas to you all and praying the New Year bring you many Blessings!

Gas Station Encounter

So I got of work about midnight tonight, as I walked outside there was my son waiting for me. Was nice to see him and have someone to ride home with. As we walked to the car, the wind was kicking up and it is so bitter cold out tonight. All I could think of was get home, change clothes and curl up on my couch and get warm.

As we drove down the street I had an urge to stop and get a soda at the gas station, why I wanted a cold soda on such a cold night…well God knows! I pull up to the gas station and I instantly notice the man just entering the store. I can tell he is on the streets. As I get out of the car I then notice his friend who was on crutches. I said hello to him as I entered the store and got my drink and watched his friend scrape up enough to get what he wanted to buy and then head out the door.

As I left they were standing close to my truck and I stopped and ask how they were doing. We spoke about how they came to be here in Boise, that they had no place to get out of cold, they said they were told the shelter was full, but to not worry that they would be fine. They had a friend who would feed them elk heart for breakfast in the morning and then they would be heading to Santa Cruz. Stating that it should only take them a few days to get there. So what can I help with right now I asked them. They stated their needs and I went back into the store and got what I could for them.

As I entered back into the store customers were complaining about the young men standing out side. Stating that they felt uncomfortable with them there and the store clerk should make them leave. I was so proud of the clerk, he stood up for the men and stated that he would not ask them to leave they had the same right to be there as anyone else. Funny thing about the whole situation was the two men on the streets were probably more polite and caring than anyone of the customers in the store. Sad part was they were not seen for the two beautiful people they were. To many times we are too quick to judge before seeing the whole person.

I left the store and spoke with the men a little longer and as I left I told them I was worried about them and wish I could do more, but would be keeping them in prayer as their journey continues. I asked if I could have a hug from each of them, as I got ready to go. I hugged the first man and he said he would be all right. The second young man for some reason my heart was really drawn towards him. He reached out his arms for a hug, he gave a big ol hug and then as I got ready to leave he said “Thanks Mom” and “don’t worry.”

I stood motionless for a moment when he said that. Why would he say that to a perfect stranger? I could feel the tears coming to my eyes. I turned and had an overwhelming need in my heart to telling him I cared about him and I loved him. He smiled again and said, “see ya later mom.”

Much love to you my new friend… You will be on my heart and in my prayers!

Giving

Our friends in the park have been given different labels. Depending on how you see them depends on the label you give them. I have seen them have things thrown at them as they walk down the street. Harassed, spit on and even have had a few of our friends beaten with in a inch of their lives, all because they have less than most of us have.

Saturday in the park was a lesson on the heart of people. After we served up our meal I was approached by a gentleman who reached over a placed something in my pocket. I looked to see what he had placed there and in my hand was a twenty-dollar bill. I told him I couldn’t take his money and after debating back and forth, he insisted I take it and use it for food for the park. No less than a half hour later another one of our friends came up and placed another twenty-dollar bill in my pocket. This is when I lost it, I broke down and started crying and spoke to him about how deeply his generosity had touched me and what it meant to us. We both stood crying and hugging each other. My son and I hung out for about another hour or so just talking to people when someone else approached us and asked for water, I told him he didn’t need to ask to just take what he needed. He did and walked off, to my surprise he returned about fifteen minutes later and he places a dollar bill in my pocket, saying it was to help others.

So your sitting here reading this and thinking, okay so it was a couple of twenties and dollar bill, what’s the big deal? Let’s see twenty dollars could buy them a cheap hotel for the night to stay out of the cold and rain. It could feed them for a few days. It could buy a sleeping bag to keep them warm through the winter. The list goes on and on. Instead they choose to give all they had. To give from their heart, putting aside their own needs and wants. Giving to help provide for others. They gave out of love for others. These are the same people who have been called bums, worthless, users and the least of our society.

Society may conceder them the least, but there are lessons we as a whole could learn from our friends on loving and giving unconditionally from the heart.



Her beauty comes from the heart

I want you to meet Rachel. I met Rachel online via my blog. We started corresponding online and she decided to come down and check us out at the park. When I first met her the first thing you notice about Rachel is the amazingly beautiful woman she is, but as you get to know her, you realize the beauty she possess goes beyond her outward appearance. 

Rachel and Jessie

From the first day she came down to the park she made a impact on those that she met there. The love she has for people is felt by those she has come in contact with and will make an impact on their lives. Though some may only get to see the outward beauty this wonderful woman has, I feel truly blessed to get to see where her true beauty and love flows from.........Her Heart!

Tony, Jessie and Rachel

What a blessing to have such a compassionate Heart join with us as we reach out to our friends. Looking forward to getting to know Rachel even more in the days to come.

Thank You Rachel for giving of yourself

Taking that first step

This past month I have been thinking a lot, reflecting on the park ministry and how things have changed and evolved over the years. I remember the day I said, “Yes I will do as you ask” and the Lord sent me to the streets. I had a bag of bologna sandwiches and was scared to death to speak to anyone, but when he sent me, he also showed me the bigger vision as to what he had in store. So I stepped out in faith and believed if I stayed focused on what he wanted, he would stay faithful to what he had shown me.

There have been times that it seemed overwhelming and I have wanted to walk away. Times of doubt of whether I am doing the right thing and to be honest those times of wondering if the Lord was still in the mist of things. I would then have to remind myself that if I continue doing what he has asked of me that he would stay true to the vision he gave me. These past few months have been a reminder of the bigger vision and that he is working, we just don’t always see him lining things up to make them happen.

Part of what he showed me were individuals working together for the sake of others, loving and serving those in need. He showed me beyond the park and what will come out of serving those there, serving not only our street friends, but also others in the community with needs. He also showed me a need for a place for our friends to come together, a place they felt as if they belonged, to worship and fellowship together. There are many other things he showed me, but will wait until another time to share those.

I want to focus on the last few months. It was a time when you don’t see anything happening, but you have that gut feeling like something is going to happen and then God shows you the next step in his plan. We were serving at the church one Saturday (couldn’t use the park) and this lady with four children came to eat. She seemed different than the others there and I watched her from across the room. As things calmed down I went to speak to her and she explained that she was not homeless, but she had lost her job and they only had her husband’s income right now. She had a choice as to pay the bills or put food on the table. She then broke down crying. At that moment I heard God speak to me and he said it is time. He showed me many years ago that we would have a food pantry to help those in the community and back then I did not know how that would be possible. I went to Essential Truth Ministries and explained the need and felt it was time to start such an outreach to help those around us. There was no hesitation and we now have a pantry room at the church and many will be blessed with it as soon as we can get it stocked…. I believe he is already making provisions for this as well.

I see other aspects of his vision coming together as well. He showed me a church that all would come together, no matter their status in life. At the same church that we served at (which is only about three or four blocks from the shelters and not far from the park) I am seeing this happen. Each Sunday I am seeing more and more of our friends from the park and shelters come thru the doors. It’s a place they feel like they can be at home in and it shows on their faces. It’s a place they don’t run out the doors when service is over, instead feel comfortable enough to hangout, get involved and most of all a place where I hope they know they are considered family and they are loved. It brings tears to my eyes to see our friends come thru the doors and feel so blessed that my friends would feel so welcome.

The Lord continues to show me those who are within the church and not within the church, those who have and those who don’t have, but each with a servants heart. He continues bring people from various parts of the community to join together to work as one body, to lay themselves aside and do what it takes to help another in need. I see Jesus moving thru each and everyone of them. I am thankful for their hearts and their willingness to also step out in faith and do what he has asked them to do. Many are and will be blessed by their humbleness and self-sacrifice. I look at them and see an example as how we should work together as one body and pray that others would see their example. What amazing things God could do.

So I reflect back on the first day in the park and my bologna sandwiches. I think back to those who said I was crazy and I can’t do it or leave it up to someone else. Then I think about all the amazing people God has brought thru my life during this time, the wonderful journey he has taken me on, the things he has shown me most of all the incredible faithfulness and love he has poured out. He gave me a vision at the time I thought was impossible to achieve, but I took that first step of faith and said, “Whatever you ask of me.” I see what he has done and I get a sense of excitement as to what is down the road, how this grand vision is going to all come together, the lives that will be touched and the wonderful people who will play a part in it.

Some of you are feeling that tug and you know that he is calling you to take that step of faith. Your afraid and you know it will come at a cost and your life may even be turned upside down, but if you step out, take his hand and let him lead you…. he will take you on a journey like no other.