Just A Nobody
Monday, June 14, 2010
Who's time schedule
I look in his crystal blue eyes that now sparkle with a bit of joy in them and think back to when I first met him. I don’t want to say I was afraid of him, but I was uneasy with the anger that he would bring to the park. I would see him coming and honestly I would want to run the other way. He would always show up so drunk that most of the time he couldn’t stand for very long and most often would end up sprawled out and passed out. I will not go into detail the things he would say in anger as he went thru the line, but you can get the idea.
I didn’t know how to deal with him and honestly would ask God at times to please don’t make me deal with this man. I know it wasn’t right, but I was so unnerved every time I was around him. Each time I was told in response to just keep loving him. So I would make it a point to approach him smile and ask how he is doing and if there is anything I could get him or help him with. Each response from him was a response of anger and basically a get out of my face attitude. I would smile, telling to have a nice day and as I walked away I would say I love you. He would mumble something not nice and I would pretend I didn’t hear it.
We went back and forth like this for the past year now and about four or five months ago I approached him again along with his friends. Expecting the same response as always, but this time he stood up, got in my face, raised his voice and asked why? Why do you care, why do you keep telling me you love me, why do you waste your time on me?
This time he didn’t unnerve me and something rose up in me, I stood my ground with him, looked him in the eyes and I have to say I raised my voice to him. Not in anger and not something I normally do with our friends. But as he stood there with his friends I told him of the beautiful person God created, the worth and value that God saw him and the love he has for him. I then told him that he could continue to bad mouth me, direct his anger at me, do what he want to drive me away, but I wasn’t going anywhere and most of all he could never make me stop loving him or the others there in the park. It got quiet and they just stood there no one moved, I looked them all in the face and told them to have a nice day and remember, “I love you” and walked away.
A few weeks later here comes my friend again, but this time he held his head down as he walked thru the line, said hello and walked off. A little later I turned to get something out of one of totes and sitting directly behind me was my friend. I about jumped out of my skin, totally expecting him to go off on me, but he ate and then left. Each week I would notice that he would be eating his meal closer hanging out and each week I would do and say what the Lord asked me to say to him. Then as he stood one day with a few other men and with his head hanging he asked “What you keep telling me is it true?” Oh sweetheart you have no idea the love we have for you and we could never love you as much as God loves you. He looked up at me with tears in his eyes, which made me start to cry as well. Not too much was said after that, but something happened, something I can’t explain. Each week he now shows up, his head lifted a little higher, a smile on his face, he sits close by and drinks a lot less when he comes down. I make it a point to put my arms around him, hug him tightly and never leave without telling him he is loved. God is changing him from the inside out; He is working on the heart.
Why am I telling you about my friend? I am learning and being changed as well. What we do in the park has been a lesson on the heart of God for me. It is also a lesson in waiting or having patience. We live in a world where we want everything fast and now, even results we want to see immediate results and the Lord just doesn’t work that way. He is loving and patient. God has been working on this man’s heart and continues to work on his heart, but it has been a yearlong struggle with him. I struggle that to be honest I wanted to walk away from. I am being honest because we all have those people in our lives that you just don’t know how to get thru to them and you just want to walk away and move on to the next, but God doesn’t work that way. He waits never turning away always working on the heart. We don’t always see the work that God is doing and we shouldn’t be in too much of a rush to throw in the towel. There are those who are immediately changed by the love of God and then there are those who will need a little more time, maybe years…but we need to learn that no one is worth giving up on. We need to be at peace knowing that God is in control and he is working on his time schedule not ours.