My son is out of town for the holiday and I was going to spend the day alone watching movies. Instead Sunday, I decided to invite a couple of people from the park, who have become good friends. The four of us watched football, ate way to much food, laughed and had a great time. As much as a misfit group we were, as we sat down to the table to eat, we sat as family. Each of us with our own struggles and different lifestyles, but we came together, accepted each one right where they were and loved each other for the person they are. We loved period and it was a beautiful day! I did screw up though, you never serve dinner the same time as KICK OFF of the football game!
Picked Darlene up early in the morning and put her to work cooking!
Love my Park Friends
Just A Nobody
Friday, November 28, 2008
Monday, November 24, 2008
I was wanting to share and blog about the park. It has been a long time since I have shared and wanted to catch people up on the things going on down there, but I wanted to share about Terrance. He has been on my heart for the last few weeks.
Two weeks ago on November 10, I happened to turn on the evening news and found that on that day they found Terrance. Terrance was 51 years old and had been on the streets for a while. I had seen is face around the park, but had never really engaged with him. I found out that night that he had climbed into a bale of waste paper at the recycling center and was crushed to death.
The news said they don’t know why he climbed in the container. I know it had been raining for days and weather had turned cold. The shelters are sometimes full and there are many just trying to survive outside in the streets. I really feel that Terrance, maybe not having a place to go and get out of the cold and rain, climbed into the recycling bin. Under the piles of paper he would have been dry and much warmer than sleeping on the streets somewhere.
I write about Terrace, because all the news referred to was that he was some homeless man, nothing more. As I think about Terrace the last few weeks, my heart hurts for the loss of this man. Yes, I really did not know him, but at one time he may have been someone’s husband, father and he was someone’s child. Most of all he was not just some homeless man; Terrance was a beloved child of our God.
Terrance could have been anyone of my friends without homes, on any given day. I wish I had the chance to throw my arms around him and let him know he was loved. When I go to the park now on I will hug a little harder and say “I love you” a little more often. You will be missed Terrance!
Sunday, November 9, 2008
November 10, 1999 at 6:45 in the morning is the day a piece of my heart was ripped out and has never been replaced. They say time heals, but there are something’s in life that no amount of time can heal. Life goes on and you learn to deal with the pain, but it is always there. I now deal with my pain in private, alone in my room is when I break down cry, grieve and cry out to God for understanding. On that day nine years ago I received a phone call that my oldest son Franklin had passed away.
He was seventeen and three months away from his eighteenth birthday. How excited he was to be turning eighteen. He was your typical teenager and we had dealt with the typical teenage stuff. Perfect he was not, but I loved him with all my heart. Franklin did have a great compassion and heart for people though. He loved to make people happy and if there was someone in need, he wanted to help. I think sometimes about the person he may have become.
I remember him sitting in church one day and just crying over some pictures they were showing of children in other countries and is longing to help them. He told me that one day he was going to go to Africa to preach and help the children there. I tell people he was going to be my preacher and I wonder sometimes if that is what he would have done and were he would have gone. I think of how he would have loved to be in the park with us on Sunday’s, just loving on the people there. I think about him a lot when we are there in the park.
I have his violin lying in the corner of my room. I can remember him practicing at night after school and gritting my teeth at the sounds that would come from that violin. In amazement though, when he would sit and play with the orchestra, I would just cry at the beautiful music that was coming from that violin. I would give anything to hear those teeth gritting sounds again.
Out of all three of my boys, he was the one who talked about having a wife and kids. He would have been 26 almost 27 now and I wonder what kind of wife he would have had and if he would have had kids, he loved kids.
There is so much I could say about him, but right now I miss him. I sit here crying as I am typing and I so long to hold him again. I want so badly to say to him “I love you.” I want to be able to put my arms around him and hug him. I miss him so much and my heart still aches. I don’t understand why a life so young has to be taken away. I don’t understand how this fits into God’s plan. I know someday I will get all the answers, but until then it doesn’t make the pain any less.
As I went out to the cemetery yesterday and as I drove down the road, I new this is the road that I will one day make my final drive down as well. Even though I go and visit his grave, I know he is not there. I know that he is with our Lord and someday I will be reunited with him. One day I will be able to hold and hug him once again and one day I will be able to tell him face to face “I love him.”
UNTIL THEN SWEET SON OF MINE “I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU SO VERY MUCH!” --Mom