DREAMS AND VISIONS

I have had a few people ask about my drawings, so let me try to explain. About 3 or 4 years ago I started having dreams about certain people or when I was around certain people I would see these pictures. They always come to me in the form of a pencil drawing. So far, each one has had the hand of God doing or giving something to that person. When I start the drawing, I have a little understand of what the meaning behind it is, but it is not until it is finished that God tells me what he wants to tell the person for whom the picture is for. Long story....short, that's about it. I hand it over to them, tell them what I feel God is trying to say and let Him speak to them through it. So, below is a few of the drawings.

FOR LEN: HE WILL GIVE YOU THE CITY

DIANNA: SHE DANCES FOR HIM, BUT HE ALSO DANCES WITH HER

FROM THE WOMEN'S CONFERENCE: LET THE LOVE OF THE FATHER FLOW AND TOUCH OTHERS


GERALD: THE CHAINS OF THE PAST ARE BROKEN


WALTER: HE HOLDS YOUR HEART, BEING REFINED AND WHAT IS EMERGING IS THE HEART OF THE FATHER!

I AM ----by MIKE

My friend Ken,from HOMEPDX in Portland, recently posted on his website (http://www.homepdx.net/) a blog from one of his friends Mike. I thought I would share it with you. You can find Mike's blog at
http://pdxurbanoutdoorsman.wordpress.com/. I have enjoyed reading his blogs and if you get a chance, drop by and check it out.


I am…
I am the one you saw in the sleeping bag while you parked your car.
You shook your head.

I am one of those you saw standing in line for breakfast, actually you were gawking.
You shook your head.

I am the one you saw walking towards the light rail.
You shook your head.

I am the one who stood so you would have a place to sit on the train since I was taking a short ride.
You shook your head.

I am one of those you see on a daily basis as you walk by the drop-center, again you gawked.
You shook your head.

I am the one you saw sitting at Pioneer Courthouse Square reading a book while you ate lunch.
You shook your head.

I am the one you saw as you hightailed it back to work so you would not be late.
You shook your head.

I am the one you saw walking by as you took your afternoon break.
You shook your head.

I am the one you saw while talking to you friends at the bus stop after work.
You shook your head.

I am the one you saw while you were having dinner with friends at the restaurant with outdoor seating.
You shook your head.

I am the one you saw as you and your friends went barhopping.
You shook your head.

I am the one you saw as you stumbled down the sidewalk after far too much to drink.
I shook my head.

Did you remember me?

Who Will Carry the Cross?

This morning I got a chance to have a quiet morning to myself. As I sat there, I was reflecting on the fact that it was Easter, which brough thoughts of what this day represents. I picked up my bible and began reading about the trial, Christ being led away, his death and the resurrection. In no way am I trying to take away from the ultimate sacrifice that Christ made for us, but I was being drawn back to something that happened right before his crucifixion.

As Jesus is being led away, he is no longer able to carry his cross. A bystander, Simon was ordered by one of the soldiers to pick it up and carry it for him. As I was reading this, I noticed not much is mentioned about Simon except that he was a bystander and where he was from. My mind thinks in weird ways sometimes, but I thought why Simon, out of all the people in the crowd that day and what was Simon thinking when he was ordered to pick up and carry the cross?

Jesus, weakened from his beatings, is no longer able to carry the cross. All condemned prisoners had to carry their own cross to the site they were to be executed. At that moment, did the soldier see past all that Jesus was accused of and what others thought and said about him? Did he see him as a fellow human being, someone in need of help? Did he have a moment of compassion and turn to Simon and say, “you help him with his burden?”

At that moment, what was going through Simon’s head? Out of thousands of people that day, was he thinking why me, I am a nobody? I am just here to celebrate the Passover with everyone else. That cross is big and the burden is heavy. Why do I have to get involved in all this, this is his problem not mine? If I carry that cross, the splinters are going to dig deep into my back and it is going to hurt. Doing this is going to take time away from what I came here for, the celebration, spending time with friends and family. Even though he was commanded to carry the cross, being in the large crowd he was in, he may have had the choice to say “no”. If he did, would the soldier have called upon someone else? But, like the soldier, did Simon see a person in need of help and have compassion for him?

As all this was swirling around in my head, I thought at this point was God trying to say to us “pick up the cross?” When we see a fellow human being broken, beaten down and weary from the burden they are carrying, will we be the ones who will have compassion and say, “I will walk along side of you and help.” Will we walk the distance with them or will we say “no” and turn and hide in the crowd? From what I read and I could be wrong, but Simon was no one special, just someone picked from a crowd of thousands, but what made him different was that he didn’t run and he helped carry the burden of the heavy cross to the end. We don’t have to be extraordinary people for God to use us; we can be a nobody in a crowd of thousands. But when we say “yes” when called on, He can do extraordinary things through us and change the lives of others around us. So, will you say “yes” or wait for someone else to be called? Just a thought!

KEN, A TELEPHONE AND HOW GOD SPOKE

A year ago today, I was sitting in the same spot. Alone in my office, sitting in front of the computer, reading when I was reminded of a something I told the Lord. You see, many years ago I had felt like there had to be more to being a Christian. I did the Sunday morning thing, joined the small groups and volunteered were needed, but it never seemed enough. I felt like I need to be out from the walls, be out in the community doing something, I did not want to wait for the people to come into the church, I wanted to be out with the people. In what way, at that time I didn’t know.

So, a few years ago I came to the Lord with a request or a challenge, which ever you want to call it. I had a hunger for more. A hunger for a deeper understanding of Him, a deeper relationship with Him and a overwhelming desire to serve Him in anyway He wanted, not in the way others said I should be serving. So, I found myself one night in my family room praying and what started off as a simple prayer, ended up with myself face down on the floor surrendering all to Him. Simply put I asked Him to use me or take me home. He responded by asking if I was ready to give up everything, no matter the cost? Yes, anything Lord was my response.

Then like an idiot, I challenged Him. I told Him, He had until I was forty-five. I was told over and over through out the years, that I should find a husband and be a wife. I have been single since I was twenty-one and never had a desire to remarry, so I told the Lord if that is what you want for me, it has to happen before I turn 45. I also told Him that if He was going to use me then He had to give me clear direction on what that was by the time I turned 45. If I didn’t hear clearly from Him, then I would be content with doing what the church says I should be doing.

As the years went by, I found myself many times being broken. Revealing things that I needed to work on or give over to Him. He began changing me from the inside out. Exposing deep hidden things, healing old wounds and showing me what I needed to change. Was it fun, no, but in the end it was worth it. He is still working on me, but I feel like I have that deeper relationship that I had longed for. In the mist of things going on in my spiritual life, the outside world was changing. Old friends didn’t want anything to do with this change in me, family thought I was nuts and I found them drifting further and further away. Then after almost ten years I was laid off my job. So, a little over a year ago, I found myself stripped not just from the inside, but my world outside was slowing being stripped away as well.

That is when He said to go to the park and just accept and love on the people there. I thought He lost His marbles or maybe fell of His throne and hit His head. First, I have spent sometime on the streets and swore I would never go back. Second, I had no idea how to do what He was asking or even how to start. He responded with a simple “Go.” Even my first day down at the park, I sat in my truck and though I can’t do this and was ready to drive off. I kept telling Him you have the wrong person and He would just say, “get out of the truck, you said you would do anything.” Well, those first few months were hard. Many mistakes were made, it was hard building trust with the people and it seemed like nothing was happening. I would go home and just cry and ask the Lord to please not send me down and I was beginning to question weather I heard Him right and if this was what I was called to do. Doubt started to set in. On top of that fellow Christians were telling me that a single woman should not be doing what I am doing, that it was not right and leave it to someone else to do. Had I not heard God correctly? Was all this a big mistake?

So, like I said before, a year ago today I was sitting at the computer. Reading emails and it was my 45th birthday. Then it struck me, the challenge I put before God, that He had until I was 45. As I sat here, I was still in doubt, thinking I missed the mark. Everything seemed to be coming against me and was wondering if maybe I heard wrong as to what He asked me to do. No one knew of this request or challenge I had put before God, it was between Him and I. As I sat here I reminded Him and asked one last time for Him to show me or someway tell me that I am on the right path and doing what He wants (it’s funny how He will wait until the last minute, just when your ready to throw in the towel). There were no great bolts of lightning or loud claps of thunder, just a simple ring of the telephone that changed my life. At that moment the phone rang and my son came in the room and said that some guy is on the phone for you, I don’t know who he is. When I answered, on the other end of the line was Ken Loyd (from HomePDX), a sweet man that I had met the month before. When I answered he said he had two things he felt like he need to tell me. One that he loved me, this meant a lot coming from him. The second thing about made me fall out of the chair. He said he felt like he was suppose to call me and then said “God told me to tell you, you are doing exactly what He wants you to do.” I broke down crying and Ken had no idea at that time why I was such a blubbering idiot, but to me it was as if the Lord picked up the phone and called to just say “Hey keep doing what your doing.”

So, a year later I sit in the same spot, not wondering what I am suppose to be doing or if I am doing the right thing. But, grateful for being stripped and broken, grateful that He said “Go” and never allowed me to run the other way. I thank Him for allowing me to be used; I thank Him for the new friends that have become like family. I find myself so very thankful as well as humble at the fact that He allows me to be a part of Him extended in the world, to love on some of the most lost and broken people. This past year He has shown me people through His eyes and how it is to love with the heart of the father. This has been the most amazing year and I can’t wait see what the coming year holds. There is so much more to learn and experience walking with Him. I no longer want to run the other direction, but ask Him to bring the adventure on…its going to be a wild and exciting one. By the way my wonderful friend Ken, thank you for picking up the phone and allowing God to use you, you changed the lives of many people that day and I love you!

BEAUTY UNDER THE OVERPASS

Like I mentioned in one of my other blogs, I have been going (after the park) to the overpass. The overpass is located near the shelters. Across the street is the local skate park, were a lot of the young kids hangout. At the skate park there is a few metal tables were we can set food out. Back across the street is were some of my street friends will sit for the day. No matter the weather you will find them with nothing but the dirty concrete to sit on and graffiti wall to lean against. Crossing the street can be dangerous at times, people will not slow down or stop. Matter of fact we had one hit last week early in the morning. The underpass is a place that people probably ignore as they drive bye, never taking a second glance at the beauty it may hold. So, today I was only able to take a few pictures, but I wanted to share with you the beauty I find under the overpass.


Meet some of my beautiful friends without homes!!


POPS (Doug) I wrote about in a previous blog, he wanted to know if God loved little Ol critters like him. He stole a piece of my heart the day I met him and he will always have a special place in it.

Paul has such tender heart and compassion for others flows from this man. He has appointed himself as my guardian; always making sure no one gives me a hard time, not that anyone has or I ever anticipate anyone doing so, but he seems to think he needs to keep an eye on me.

Justin is the sweetest young man I have met in a long time. I had the greatest time today with him and his girl Sarah. Justin and Pops were singing songs and just acting goofy, was good to see him laugh.

NORMALS

Sunday’s after the park I go down to the underpass. There I do the same as I do in the park, give a warm meal but mostly hang out and talk. This past Sunday we had finished loading the truck backup and a group that we had been visiting with left and was walking down the street. My son and I were still hanging out when a lady with the group came running back yelling for help. One of the guys with them had roughed her up and threw her in the bushes. She was afraid that the guy who roughed her up was going to do something to one of the other guys and asked if we would help (they asked not to have the cops involved). So, my son, one other guy and myself jumped in the truck and went to help. To make a long story short, we got everyone back to the underpass without anyone else getting hurt. As we all stood there talking, the lady came up and gave me a hug and said “Thank you, you’re the only normal that has ever cared enough to help.”

I didn’t think much of the phrase she used “normals” until I was back home and it still has bothered me today. I had heard my friend Ken, in Portland, use this term before. He said it was a term that people on the streets used to refer to those who don’t live outside, have a job, the house, the family, etc.

I want to know how having all those things mentioned above makes you normal? I want to know why society says that by having all these things that you are in someway superior to those who have not and those who do not have are looked upon as if they are less than human. I want to know why when a homeless woman is assaulted on a busy street corner, no one stops to help and people look the other direction. If it were someone in a three-piece suite, many would have jumped into help.

So, why am I bothered? It comes down to the fact that I am hurt and ashamed. I am ashamed of those who would look down on and pass these wonderful people bye as if they did not exist. I am ashamed of my fellow human beings that cannot lend a helping hand to someone in need. I am hurt because these wonderful people are my friends and in some ways my family. My friends without homes love with a passion that we could learn from, they give more generously than I have ever seen and they have your back no matter what the cost. If I am sounding a little PO’d, I am sorry. When I hear statements like the one she made, then I get a little upset. Upset because I see the hurt in their eyes and the pain in their heart when they are looked upon as less than. Then I have to ask, is it normal to not care and turn a blind eye, if it is then I don’t want to be considered as normal. I want to be abnormal. I want to throw my arms around them and hug them. I want to tell them I love them. I want to be a shoulder when they are hurting and when they need someone to have their back, I want to be there for them. I want to sit along the underpass as traffic drives by say, “hey friend, how’s your day going?”

I do understand that not all people (normals) treat those without homes in this way and in no way am I implying that all do. But I am saying that those who think that in someway they are better because they have, remember we are all children of God and he doesn’t play favorites. He doesn’t care how many toys you have in your toy box. He can take them away just as fast and you could find yourself referring to others as the "normals". All I ask is for you to see them for the loving person they were created to be and the beauty they hold inside. See them how God sees them and love them with the Father’s heart. Much love to all of you!

"THE FELLOWSHIP OF GHOSTS" by Walter Justice

I encourage you to check out Walter's book "The Fellowship of Ghosts." There are not to many books that catch my interest enough to spend all night reading just to finish it, but I did with this one. It's also a book that I will keep around to go back to from time to time. I met Walter a few months ago and the longer I know him, the more I see the love and compassion he has for the people around him. A love that draws people to him, but also encourages them to be all they are meant to be as a child of God. By opening up and sharing his life with you, you see you are not alone in your struggles and you can overcome. Check out his book or drop him a line on his MySpace, he would love to hear from you!

Check out the book.
http://www.classifieds.myspace.com/bounce_redir/?l=1188159363&o=sr&t=xx

Walter Justice's myspace:http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=437613165