Mosaic Street

Taking a lesson from a friend

2012-01-24T20:15:00.000-08:00

I just got off work today. Was complaining to myself about how tired I was and all I wanted to do was go home and lay on the couch, but needed to stop and get gas and pick up a few things at the store.
I got my gas and turned the corner to drive into the parking lot of the store and on the corner was our friend from the park. This is his corner and can be found there almost everyday. He flies a sign, but instead of taking money he prefers to work for what he gets. An older gentleman, his eyesight fading, but he has the gentlest soul about him. As I passed I waved and when he didn’t respond I remembered he couldn’t see that far and would have not know that I waved at him.
As I got out of my truck and headed into the store, he was also making his way in as well. I called out his name and caught up with him. As we walked in the store together I asked how he was doing and as usual he tells me fine, but I can see in his face that all is not well.
“So tell me what is wrong my fiend “ I said to him.

He tells me that it has been 41 months and as not had a problem until now. I didn’t understand the 41 months part and asked him to explain. He has been camping out for 41 months along the river and yesterday the police found his camp. They came thru his camp and dumped everything in the river. Everything this man owned was tossed out like trash.
I was stunned to hear this and even more stunned that this man will have to endure the cold weather with nothing to protect him from the elements. I asked what I could do for him. He said he can get a sleeping bag, but could use a new tent. I told him I would see what I could do.
He said he was grateful for the help, but told me that he was not worried and then went on to tell me that he was not upset about it. He said, “look I still have my health, I can still see somewhat, I have good friends who care about me and I have the good Lord looking after me, what more do I need. God will provide what I need.”
I looked at this man who stood before me with nothing and I mean nothing and he still was in a good mood and was smiling. Ten minutes before I was complaining to myself about being tired and wanting to go home to my warm house.

My friend stands in the bitter cold looking for someone to offer him work and he will probably spend all day outside just to receive a few bucks to make through to the next day. After spending his day doing this he then will spend the rest of his evening camped along the river trying to survive the night, just to get up and do it all over again. The next time you complain about having to get up and go to work or having to take care of the house you live in, remember our friend and remember how truly blessed you are.
By the way…if you have a tent we can give him, let me know.

Two Sets of Rules

2011-11-09T11:44:00.000-08:00

Over the years of serving those without homes, I have learned that there are unspoken rules for those who have and for those who have not. After I picked my son up from roller derby practice Monday night, I saw another example of that. It was late and we had not had dinner and decided to stop and grab a burger on the way home.

I stopped at one of local burger chains and as we went inside, there were two gentlemen who had came in as well. Both older, clean and well dressed, the only difference you could see between the two was the fact that one was carrying a backpack. The one with the backpack sat in a back corner, in a spot were no one could see him except those entering or leaving from side door. The other sat in the middle of the place in full view of anyone coming or going. The one in the back corner began playing a game of solitary and the other asked for a glass of water and sat to read the paper.

As we waited for our order, I had noticed that I knew the man in the back corner from the park and I waved and got ready to go over and talk to him. As I started over the manager of the place came out from behind the counter and started to speak to him, so I decided I would wait until she was done talking to him. My son stood with me talking to me about practice, but I kept my ear tuned to the conversation in the corner. As the conversation in the corner started to heat up, I found myself slowly inching closer to hear, my son sat down and just shook his head. I asked him “What?” He just laughed and said “We are going to be here for awhile.” Okay so by now my son knows me well enough that I can’t walk away in a situation like that.

As the manager left I walked over to ask what the problem was and what was going on. Our park guy said he came in to wait for his wife to get off work. Let me give you a little back ground on our park guy. He has lost his job and has not been able to find work. His wonderful wife has been able to find work, part time at a radio station just down the street from the burger joint. Because of only part time work, the only place they have to stay is in the camper they have. Neither is on drugs or drinks. Very wonderful people who only are trying to make it in this world. Back to the manager, she had stated to him that he would have to leave, they there was a policy that stated that you could only stay in the place for thirty minutes, unless you were a paying customer. He explained that he was only waiting for his wife to get off work and would not be there long. She didn’t care and wanted him out. If he didn’t leave she was going to call the police.

Now besides my son, myself, the other older gentleman reading the paper, the only other person in the place was our park friend. I asked the manager “If this gentlman has to leave, then why is the other not asked to leave as well?” “That’s different, he comes often and is not bothering any of the costumers.” She stated. I asked her “what costumers are being bothered by our friend sitting in the corner, there is no one in here.” “It’s just different for him” she stated.

“So let me get this right. Our friend can’t stay because he is not a paying costumer and the other can stay because he asked for a glass of water that he didn’t pay for?”

“Yes, it’s different” she said.

“So were is your policy posted that you can only stay thirty minutes unless you are a paying customer?”

Once again she didn’t have a strait answer and could not show anywhere that it was posted. I asked how someone was to know that policy just walking in off the street, still no answer. She then stated that he needed to get out and promptly walked off. So I promptly walked over to our friend reached in my purse and pulled a five-dollar bill. Are you hungry or thirsty I asked him? No, I just wanted to wait for my wife; she will be off work soon. I said go buy something to drink, even if you don’t drink it and sit back down, you will then be a paying customer and they won’t have any reason to ask you to leave. He smiled, took the bill and walked to the counter. The same lady looked at him and refused to take his order, so my son and I stood with him until someone waited on him. Finally someone took his drink order and we all sat and chatted for a while.

My son and I had to leave, but as we were leaving our park friend handed me back the change from the drink. I told him to please hold onto it and if she came back to make him leave again, go over and buy something else and you just keep doing that until your wife gets off work. We laughed, hugged and left, telling our friend that we would see him soon.

Now before anyone gets upset, I do know that restaurants can’t just let people come in and hangout. They are there to make money. My point to all this is we have two different people doing the same thing. Coming in to a place that is pretty much empty, neither buying anything and both minding their own business in different parts of the restaurant. One who did not buy anything, but has been in from time to time is allowed to stay. The other because he is homeless was asked to leave. She stated he was bothering customers (the only customers were us and he was not bothering us) and who was she to determine who was worthy enough to sit and stay inside?

Once again the unspoken rules for those who have and those who have not, for those who are accepted by society and those who have been rejected. When will we be begin to look at others and see the worth and beauty they have inside of them and not determine a persons value based on their appearance or what processions they may have?

A Lesson in Giving

2011-10-30T20:12:00.000-07:00

Today was a great day in the park. There were only three of us to serve, Kathryn and James were there to help, and others had things to do today. I was a head of schedule before going down and I should have known things never go that well. Every time I think I am a head of getting things done, something throws me off course. I got to the park and sure enough, I grabbed the wrong totes, and so no plates, ladle or anything else I needed to serve. Hey at least I remembered the tables (yes, I forgot them once and had to serve out of the back of the truck). We did have the bowls for the soup and we made makeshift plates, used a cup to scoop soup and so forth. The guys laughed and said it was like camping.

Right before we served one of the guys came up and out of a hat dumped some change on the table; this is for you he said. We all decided to take up what we had to give back for what you all do here, it is the end of the month and this is all we had, but wanted you to have it. We love you guys and we just want to show you how much we appreciate you all he said.

What really was a shock was the person whom it came from. This man we met last year. A loner, would come and eat, not look you in the eyes and barely say anything. Would always take his plate and take off away from us. Each week we would just keep loving on him when he came thru the line and over time he would start to warm up to us. If you saw him then and now you would not have believed he was the same person. He is one of the first there to greet us now, always ready to engage in conversation and today for the first time I heard him very softly say “I love you.”

So there on the table laid a little over four dollars, but in my mind it was a million. They dug deep in their pockets and gave all that they had to show how much we mean to them. They gave with love from their hearts, not asking for anything in return…they gave out of love for another. An example we can learn from. I walk away from the park today thinking of my friends there and think about what a honor it is to be called friend by them and what a blessing it is to spend time with them each week.

I couldn’t have asked for a better day to spend our fourth anniversary of serving in the park and as we close on our fourth year and begin our fifth, I pray that we will be able to continue loving on those who others have forgotten.

ANGELS

2011-10-23T21:06:00.000-07:00

What a beautiful day in the park. The sun shinned brightly on the park today. Secretly wishing we could have days like this every Sunday, but was reminded by many of our friends of the cold that was going to be upon us soon.

Wonderful people to share the day with, not just our friends in the park, but all that showed up to help serve and those who brought food. Thanks to all of you that help. Was good to see an old friend return, her kind and loving heart was missed and also missed those who could not be with us this weekend. All of you bring so much more to the park than words can say.

My son and I had stayed for a little while today, just wanted to sit and hang out with everyone in the park. One of the guys came up to me, he has been coming down for a long time and he said he had something for me. He pulled out of his pocket a metal angel on a chain. He said that he had traded something for it and as he was sitting at the picnic table with the others, they all decided that I should have it. He said that he heard I like crosses and angels and that I like to hang them on my wall at home. I told him that was correct. Would you please take this one and hang it on your wall he asked. I would love to hang it on the wall, I told him and every time I see it I will be reminded of you.

As the two of us stood talking, I started to think of his gift to me. He traded something for it. Our friends’ possessions are few and what they do have, they hang onto dearly. He could have traded it for something he could use or needed, but instead he gave it with a generous loving heart, knowing it would bring joy. He gave out of love and that is what makes this gift so precious.

I then asked him if I could hang it on my rearview mirror instead of the wall of my house. I told him that at home I would see from time to time on the wall, but in my truck I would be reminded of him and the others everyday as I traveled about doing things. He thought that was a great idea. James, my son, carefully put the angel on the mirror; we talked with the gentleman a little longer and headed home.

On my rearview mirror I have had a cross that was made by a biker many years ago and as we started down the road the angel would clang against that cross. I wasn’t a loud clang, but a soft gentle sound. Not distracting, but a reminder of “I am here”. I started to think of the angel, our friends in the park and those who come to serve. Are some angels in disguise? I don’t know. I do know that when I step back on days like today, watch and listen to all around me, I see the beauty of my Creator, the giving heart of my heavenly Father and love that was so poured out to us thru his Son. Each week I look into faces of all who show up, no matter which side of the table they are on and I am humbled and honored to be there with them.

So my little clanging angel will stay on my rearview mirror. A reminder of all those angels I encounter each Sunday. A reminder of all the love that is poured out from both sides of the table.

From the pages of Rick Dorey

2011-08-22T20:07:00.000-07:00

Pastor Rick and his wife April have been coming to the park now for awhile. He has written many things on the park and I would like to share them with you. Below is a link to his latest blog...take a moment to read it. Be blessed and remember your loved.
http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fnewchoicesfellowship.org%2Fslider%2Fface-grace%2F&h=-AQBOBmKOAQAoRfblOacK0vTRBsENJckl8UvxSpkv_FH6tQ

Peace

2011-07-17T21:55:00.000-07:00

Peace has not been apart of my week this week. I will save you the details, but it seems like one thing after another has come at me and after arriving at the park today, I was drained. While serving our friends I was questioning, “What are we doing here and do we make a difference?” We got most of the people through the line and then I needed to step back.
I stood by myself for a few and looked around at the large crowd of people gathered. I saw people I had never seen before, kids playing, and groups of people laughing and enjoying the warm sunny day. Inside I was begging God, “please speak to me…show and tell me what you what me to see.” “Look at them all” he says to me. “These are my beloved children, who I love very much and I have entrusted them to all of you.” But are we making a difference in their lives? “You all bring peace to their weary souls and show love to broken hearts and the greatest gift you can give someone is love.” But are we really I stood wondering.
Then a man I had never met before approached me and introduced himself as Robert. He said he never comes down to the park, because of all the fighting that goes on, but wanted to get something to eat. He said that right before we pulled up, he was just getting on his bike to head out because he couldn’t take the arguing and fighting that was going on. He then tells me that as soon as we pulled up, no one said anything but something happened. He said a calm came over everyone and a sense of peace came over the park. Look at them all now, he says, they are all laughing, joking and getting along. It wasn’t like that before you all showed up. Then he goes on to tell me that a friend gave him a gift. He reaches in his pack and pulls out a peace sign and tells me his friend told him he would find peace today. He asked if I painted and I replied that I did. Giving me his peace sign he asked if I wouldn’t paint it for him, it would be my honor I told him. Then looking me straight in the eyes, he says “The peace of God is a powerful thing and you all carry his peace with you.” I stood there floored as he continued to talk, but all I could hear was this man’s words and God’s from earlier ringing in my ears.
Who was this man? Ever hear the phrase “entertaining angels?” Funny how God can use an old scruffy man who has had a few drinks that day to speak volumes to you and remind you that his peace is ever present and he is in control.

No Preaching Allowed by Pam Hogeweide http://burnsidewriters.com/2011/06/14/no-preaching-allowed/

2011-06-20T00:04:00.000-07:00

In the mid-section of her ordinary life, my friend Denie, whom I’ve known since before we were old enough to vote, felt what she described as a call of God to minister to the homeless. She wasn’t sure what that meant for her life, but she was full of faith and unction that she had received a bonafide assignment from the Holy Spirit. She began volunteering at the city shelter. but within six months she realized that it wasn’t working out. “I don’t mean to sound like what they’re doing isn’t good, because it is, but it doesn’t feel personal to me. These poor people come in day in and day out and they just push them along like cattle. I can’t do that.” And so, she was back to square one. If the Almighty had given her marching orders to demonstrate His love and compassion towards the homeless— and she wholeheartedly believed he had—then she felt certain that there must be a better way.

On an ordinary Saturday, full of the same faith and unction that got her up and out the door to volunteer at the shelter, Denie and her trusty blue truck, headed to another place she knew she’d find the city’s homeless: The Park. With a bag of bologna and cheese sandwiches and bottles of water, she slowly made her way around the shady grassed areas where men and women lounged from the summer heat. “You hungry?” she’d ask with an almost nonchalant detached tone in her voice. This was her way of going in low, gentle attempts at connecting to the most invisible citizens of Boise, Idaho.

Week after week she kept this up. About this time my good friend Ken Loyd was headed to Boise for an event. Ken launched a church for homeless people in Portland, Oregon, a mere seven-hour drive from Boise and where my family and I make our home. I told Denie about Ken, how he was the same as her. “He’s been going downtown for years,” I said, “handing out socks, food and lots of conversation. He’s the guy you wanna talk to.” Then, I told Ken about Denie. “You gotta meet her Ken. You guys are the same.”

The two did meet and though they both are on the quiet side, Denie tells me they managed to have a meaningful conversation, one that helped her find her way as a rookie on the frontlines of street ministry from Ken, the older, wiser veteran. After Ken got back from Boise I asked him about his impression of Denie and what she was doing in the park. “In all the years of people I have talked to, not many get what I’m about. But Denie gets it. She’s like me and I think she’ll be fine.”

What they share in common in ethos and practice is a determination to meet people right where they are in the gritty sub-culture of American homelessness. One starting point was the word homeless …neither Ken nor Denie liked to use it.

“Homeless means loser in our society. It means you’ve failed. But I don’t see failures. I see friends. These are my friends who live outside and I love them and they love me,” says Ken who at sixty-plus in years with his snow-white spiky hair and tattoos scattered on both arms looks more like a pirate than a minister. “I do nothing special by just paying attention and listening.” My friend Denie said the same kind of things. She was already forming this ministry approach when I connected her to Ken who affirmed her. “He told me to go slow, to start off by just sitting and watching and hanging out in the park since I’m the one coming into their home,” she said.

So Denie kept it up, mostly by herself. She’d bring a few sandwiches each Saturday and just hang out in the park. Every week. Every Saturday. While other women grocery shopped and gardened, Denie hung out with street sleepers. Weeks turned into months and before long The Park Guys, as she liked to call them, were rushing up to help her unload her truck. The guys had names and histories and Denie knew all their stories.

Her consistency in coming to the park each week meant that word had spread through Boise’s homeless network. More people were showing up each week. Within a year a hundred people or more were being served by Denie’s homespun cooking who had graduated from sandwiches to hot meals like soup and pasta. With this kind of success, if you can call it that, she also attracted attention from cowboy types who were gunning to get their preach on. “That’s not how we do it down here,” she’d tell each newbie who was itching to have an audience. “Talk to people one on one. Get to know them. Ask them questions. Listen. But no preaching.” Denie had learned, like Ken, that most people who live outside can smell a bait and switch game a mile away. When Christians show up willing to give away food or other goods, but have an agenda to convert the hell-bound sinner, those who live outside pick up this scent of disingenuous conversation as you and I do when the telemarketer’s voice purrs over the line, “I just need a moment of your time.”

One young graduate of seminary somehow caught wind of Denie and began showing up at the park. She was open to his help, but nervous about how gung-ho he acted. He was lacking humility, she decided, but she figured he’d catch on soon enough and be alright. Unfortunately he soon thought of the park as his ministry and Denie as a womanly helper who had opened the door for him. She set the record straight quick. He never came back.

A couple of summers ago I was in Boise with my good friend Vivian and together we helped Denie and the small team of people who had made spaghetti and meatballs for the park people. Denie walked around, checking in on everybody, saying hey to regulars and introducing herself to newcomers. The Idaho sky blazed blue from above as people feasted on food and laughter. It felt like a family picnic.
A couple of weeks ago my church helped out with a meal for HOMEpdx. We met outside under the Hawthorne Bridge where the church meets each week to share friendship, food and humanity with those who live outside. I met one older man who’s a Viet Nam vet, a kind but at times scattered soul who loves to create origami art for friends. One moment he was talking about getting more paper for art, the next he was suddenly telling me about the guys who died in his unit in the Viet Nam war. I let him ramble. Then I preached the love of Jesus to him the way Denie and Ken showed me how to: I just listened as he told his story.
I got an email from Ken today. I told him I was writing an article about him and Denie that emphasized his guiding wisdom being a beacon for my friend when she first started to venture to the park in her early days. Ken quickly dismantled this idea. “Denie has shown me about sticking to the task of love in the face of trial and sorrow. She has demonstrated a quiet authority while bowing low. I’m trying to copy that. I think I’ve learned more from her than from anyone else in the “biz”.” These two undoubtedly share a mutual admiration for one another as there are not many urban missionaries who have blazed the kind of trail which they have.

A few years ago I would not have accepted what Ken and Denie do as legitimate gospel-centered ministry. I would have wanted to know why they don’t preach a clear cut appeal for people to get saved; it would have bothered me that there is too much camaraderie and not nearly enough discipleship. I would have asked, ‘Where’s the fruit?” In doing so, I would have missed the point that if God hangs out with the broken hearted and the poor like the Holy Scriptures say, then Ken and Denie are following in their Father’s footsteps.
Denie still gets challenged from time to time by those who feel that she’s not doing enough (imagine!). She hangs on, though, to the heart of her mission which has always been to find and love the forgotten castaways. She comforts herself that even if others don’t recognize the worth of what she’s doing, there’s a pirate in Portland who does. “Ken is the person who came along side and understood that by just loving and accepting our friends’ right where they were was the greatest example of God’s love we could show anyone.”
That’s a helluva sermon for a non-preaching preacher-woman like Denie to spread each week in the park…To which I say, Amen and amen.

A blessing from the other side of the table

2011-06-19T23:27:00.000-07:00

Today as we were serving up our meal, a young family come thru the line. They were down visiting some of our friends who live outside and came to share a meal with them. As the husband came through the line he asked "who do I pay?" I almost wanting to laugh I told him we don't charge for the meal, all are welcome to the table and all are welcome to eat. He then said you don't understand....how do you pay for this? Well we take donations to provide the meal, I responded. He then without hesitation leans across the table and hands me a few rolled up dollars. I told him I can't take your money, but he insisted I take it.

I almost broke down and cried right then. If you looked at this family, they didn't look like they had much as it is. I didn't know if I was taking this man's last dollars or what and I sure as heck didn't want to take it from his family. Then you hear that small gentle voice speak to you and over the years I have learned to yield to that voice and instead of arguing to simple say "Yes Lord as you wish."

"He is trying to bless you all with a gift of all he has and in doing so he in turn will be blessed".....the gentle voice said. I took his gift, smiled and said thanks. I don't know what kind or how big of a blessing is coming this man's way, but I feel the Lord has his back and he will be taking care of him and his family. I know he blessed us today with his beautiful gift and what made it even more special was that it was give straight from the heart, no hesitation or second thought just a willingness to give and help.

Homeless in Boise

2011-05-17T22:38:00.000-07:00

I post my thoughts and perspective as to what goes on in the park. A dear couple recently came down to the park and I wanted to share what they wrote on their experience in the park.

Homeless In Boise - There is still much to be done.by New Choices Fellowship on Monday, May 16, 2011 at 2:11pm

It was a rainy Sunday afternoon as we pulled up around 4:30 to help a good friend in ministry to feed the homeless here in Boise. There was no fan fare. There was no recognition on the News as a local hero. There was just a willingness to help an unnoticed ministry feed and minister to some of the many homeless found here in Boise.

There are many places to volunteer in Boise and other parts of the country. April and I choose to look for those unsung hero's to help and lift up their spirits. You know the ones, they don't do it for the money or recognition. They do it out of love. Mosaic ministries is one of those types of ministries. Denie has been in the streets for many years. She goes where all the other folks won't go. She loves and holds dear the ones that many are even scared to talk to. A finer example of God's love I have only seen on rare occasions.

We went down to help because she was saying she was feeding so many that she had little time to minister to the ones in need of some one to talk with or to receive a warm look to remind them how they are loved and worthy. We knew they need her ministry and it was little to ask to give up the time and be in service to someone that gives so much of her time and resources.

I saw on the news that evening a tribute to one of the valley's largest churches. They feed on average the report said 200 or so people every Sunday. They have 150 volunteers to support the feed the homeless program. Mosaic ministries does 100-200 with 4 people that prepare the food and serve while they minister with a personal touch to many of them that go through the line. Their resources come from outside donation and personal sacrifice. Little is made much when God's hand is in it and he has such willing hearts to work with.

That time spent with each one didn't get ignored with the weather or the state each one coming through the line was in. Each where treated as family and with respect to welcome and listen to them. The stories were heart breaking and awakening at the same time. I admit in one afternoon I learned more about the human condition and strength than I could have in years of schooling and theory. I watched God work through a woman that taught me more about loving others than I thought I still had yet to learn.

It was an honor to help and be in service to her and to the beautiful souls she is there to care for. It made me so much more aware of the work left to be done by those of us that can do it. Lives are given hope when they know that someone really cares. Many workers are needed but few will make the sacrifice to serve and give up so much to take care of those in need.

I found out another secret though. Life in service to others has it own rewards and challenges. Denie is one of those special Holy Spirit/Mother Teresa kind of people that we rarely get to know in our lives. April and I will be back to help her again and again. I don't believe we have to leave the country to touch the hearts and souls of those in need. If we look a little closer they are right here in our back yard. If you are called to serve, be called to support and pray for those that are. Remember God calls us all to our own action to help. For some it will be by donations of time and effort and others by the ability to supply resources.

There is more than any one person can do, listen to your own song and see what God calls you to do. For when each of us sings in tune the world is changed one life at a time. I know for certain that a life was saved by love in that crowd yesterday and many where given another day of hope even under the dark grey skies and the pouring rain that was soon to come.

Be blessed and be a blessing to some one.

Share the road with a fellow traveler

2011-04-24T23:13:00.000-07:00

It was suppose to be a cold wet rainy Easter Sunday, but God smiled on us today and gave us a beautiful day in the park. Many of our regular street friends and many new faces showed up to share a meal with us. As much as I love hanging out with all that show up, there are the times when the crowd leaves and a handful remain and you get the chance to sit one on one with someone and really get to know that person. The end of our day was one of those times.

If you passed him on the streets or saw him in the park, many would at first glance say “Oh, just another homeless drunk guy.” Yes, he had been drinking but when he began to tell me a little of his story, his mind was clear and passion flowed from his heart. He spoke of a beautiful woman he fell in love with as a young man. Head over heals for her and how nervous he was to ask her to marry him. After they married he said she wanted to spend their honey moon in the Holy Land, so he made sure that is were they went and he talked of the amazing time they had there. They started a family and life was going good for them. He worked as an EMT as well as going to seminary school. He dreamed of becoming a preacher and his wife started a street outreach in Portland. She was helping women who were prostituting themselves get off the streets. Life couldn’t have been better he said.

Then one morning as he was on his way to school with his family in the car a truck hit them. The only person who was injured was his wife and as she lay dying, he frantically tried to save her. She never made it and his world came crashing down. The love of his life was gone and his heart forever broken. His life spiraled downward, his hopes and dreams were shattered and he turned his back on the God he once loved. Years of torment over not being able to save his wife and hatred toward God brought him to the life he now lives, wandering the streets and drinking to kill the pain of a love lost. You see the pain in his eyes when he speaks of her and you see it in each tear that flows down his face. Then he begins to smile and he tells me, but I no longer hate God for taking her. He then pulls his shirt to the side and shows me a tattoo. He tells me, you see Jesus is first in my life now; I have him tattooed over my heart because he comes first in my heart. He says he asks God to forgive him for drinking, but he has come to a point were he can’t seem to stop without help. His drinking has brought on liver failer, but he tells me this with no regrets or fear in his voice, yet instead with a smile in on his face. I ask if I can pray for him and he say sure, but tells me he is okay with it because he can’t wait to see Jesus and his love again. There is much more to this man than what you see from the outside, if you only will take a moment to see past what the world sees.

Each of us a road we must walk, a journey that is each our own. Each step on that journey makes up whom we are. Some have someone to hold their hands or help them when they stubble and others may not. No matter what, our journey has brought us to where we are today. The questions is can we take the time out of our own journey and stray of the road in front of us to maybe help up and hold the hand of a fellow traveler who has stumbled and fallen. Taking the time to understand their journey and maybe showing them a new road to take or better yet, maybe even sharing the journey and traveling the road together, helping each other along the way.

Where is the compassion?

2011-02-13T20:43:00.000-08:00

So I am on my way home from work last week and as I come to an intersection by one of our local parks, I see a fire truck and two police cars parked along side the park. Lights flashing and since it is five o’clock traffic I assume it is a car accident. Because of the traffic I had to sit thru a couple of red lights before making it thru the intersection, but as I sat in traffic I was looking to see what was going on with the fire truck and police. There was no car accident, but instead I had noticed a man lying in the park with three firemen and two police officers standing around him. It only took a minute to recognize the man lying in the grass, he was one from the park and I know him well. This particular man has a special place in my heart. I first panicked because he was not moving and thought the worst. He has an addiction to alcohol and I prayed that we had not lost another to this addiction. Then sitting in my car three lanes over from the park and no way of getting to my friend, I saw what just stunned me. No one bent over to see if he was okay, no one offered a helping hand, but instead they kicked this man to see if he would move and yes he did move after that, I think anyone would have. He got to his feet and they placed him in the police car. The light turned green for me to go and I drove home with tears running down my face for my friend and furious over the lack of compassion that was given to him. If a man was standing the park kicking his dog, he would be hauled off for animal cruelty, why is it then okay to kick another human being for just laying down and sleeping it off in the park. Where has our compassion for people gone?

What brought me here?

2011-01-30T23:59:00.000-08:00

As you pass by you see the tattered clothes, the dirty face and the hollow eyes of what once was. As soon as our eyes meet, you quickly look away. Do you realize I long for you to see me for who I am and not what you have judged me to be?
Molested at the age of nine, but the molester said but “I love you.” Brought up by a parent who was an alcoholic, abusive not just physically but also mentally, but said, “I love you.” A spouse who beat me, but said “I love you.” The world said if you become this or do that and be the best we will “love you,” but they never did.

I found myself on the streets at seventeen looking for that love that was so promised to me. I thought I could find it in random people on the streets, but did not. I thought I could find it in alcohol that I consumed, but did not. Nor did I find it in the hands full of drugs I had taken, but it did take away my pain. In return it has began to take my life from me. The world promised me love and rejected me. Now you pass by and judge me for what I have become when it is some of you who have made me what I am.

So the next time you pass me by, don’t be so quick to judge as to why you see me wandering the streets. Maybe next time you will not look away and maybe just maybe even give me a kind smile that says “I see you for who you were created to be and I can love you right where your at.”…. Anonymous.

She was a Princess for the day

2011-01-22T23:26:00.000-08:00

Rachel came down today with a pretty little girly kids table for some of the kids to use when they come down for our Saturday dinner. We also got a donation of kids’ clothes and inside the box was a little ballerina outfit. One of our regular families who come to eat was there with their little girl Emma. Rachel setup the kid’s table and little Emma just glowed with delight. Little later I pulled out the ballerina outfit and she put it on and smiled from ear to ear.

There sat two and a half year old Emma for hours in the middle of almost a hundred of our street friends, playing with her new doll, eating at a spot that was set aside just for her and dressed in clothes that made her feel like she was the most special person in the world. The streets can be a harsh place for any adult, but I can’t imagine what it is like for the kids and for a few hours today that life slipped away for her.

I can’t put into words the joy this little girl felt today, but I can say “Thank You” so very much to those who help by donating to us and helping us with our efforts to serve our friends. Everything you do brings joy and a smile to those who have much less than we do and today you made a little girl feel like she was a Princess and the Bell of the ball.

The Gift of Love

2011-01-01T23:22:00.000-08:00

As Christmas day drew closer, my son and I had about decided to just throw in the towel as far as the holiday’s go. No matter where we went people were in a hurry, rude, angry and all you would hear is “I want”, “I want.” At one point as we sat down one evening he turned and asked, “Do you think anyone really remembers the reason we celebrate Christmas?” I to began to wonder if the true meaning of Christmas was lost and forgotten. But as Christmas day was upon us, I found that there are many who still hold the true meaning of the day in their hearts and reflect it in their lives.

Christmas fell on a Saturday this year, which is the day we serve our friends from the park. Instead of canceling the day we opened up the church for the better part of the day and decided to spend Christmas with our friends. They only asked for one thing for Christmas and that was to have a place to go and have someone to share it with. So with the help of so many wonderful people, we had a huge Christmas dinner, played bingo and Al showed movies with popcorn upstairs on the big screen.

Our regular crew of people who help could not make it down that day, but we were so blessed by those who did. As we were headed to church Rick and April were already calling and asking what they could do, shortly after arriving some of our friends from the park, as well as Al and Pamela showed up to help, a wonderful family the Sigler’s came down, some of my son’s friends showed up and Jeannie who I met for the first time that day, came down to show her daughter what Christmas was all about.

I stand back sometimes and just take things in. I wonder if people see what I see. There were so many people jumping in to make dinner, it was like having family all pile in the kitchen, laughing joking. One of our park friends got a lesson on how to make deviled eggs (was funny). Laughed as my son and one of park guys made pudding and of course had to taste test which resulted with them having more on their face than in the bowl. At that moment there was no division, no them or us… just friends and family enjoying the day and each others company.

As the day went on many people came and went, but as I watched many sat playing cards, reading the paper, playing bingo or were watching a movie. We even had one of the guys feel comfortable enough that after he ate, he was snoozing in the lobby chair…reminded me of a grandpa after eating a big meal. My son and I didn’t have our family to spend the day with, but as I looked around I realized these wonderful people are our friends and part of our family. I felt as though we were sitting in a big home and had invited friends and family over to celebrate. Then I was reminded that it was God’s house and these are his beloved children and what a way to share His gift of love, but to extend it to others.

Extending the gift of Love to others is the one thing I will always remember about that day. Each and every person that came down gave up their Christmas day to spend it with our friends. Many spent most of the day with us and did so because they wanted to. They came not expecting anything and only came to give. They showed kindness and love in their smiles, they spoke words of love, showed love with a warm embrace and most of all gave of themselves for the sake of others. As I watched each and everyone of them, I saw the true meaning of Christmas lived out, I saw the gift of Love poured out to so many who may have been forgotten that day.
Today some of our park friends were talking about what a wonderful Christmas day they had and what a wonderful group of people that came down to share it with them. In time they may not remember your names, but they will always remember the kindness and love you showed them. You gave of yourself and loved unconditionally…this is the biggest gift you could ever give. God gave his son out of love for us and in return you have extended that love to lives that were blessed that day.

I want to thank everyone for all you did to make the day happen. I so wish that those who couldn’t be there could have shared the day with us. It is hard to put into words the wonderful things I saw and felt. Whether you were there or not everything you did blessed so many people and I pray that those blessings are returned to you many times over. Once again thank you for loving and sharing yourself with so many…you made so many happy that day and you reflected the true meaning of Christmas, that is the biggest gift you could have given anyone.

Christmas is just another day!

2010-12-18T22:07:00.000-08:00

I was driving to work this week and passed one of our guys from the park, flying a sign. It read “CHRISTMAS-it’s just another day when you are homeless.” My heart ached as the reality of this sunk in. Most of us will gather with family and friends, sit down to a wonderful cooked meal; spend the day laughing and enjoying each other’s company. Our friends will be outside in the cold, some alone with no place to go and no family or friends to share the day with.

About a month ago I asked our friends in the park “if you could have one thing for Christmas what would it be?” They all responded that they would like a place to hangout, get out of the cold and share the day with other people. So that is what we have decided to give our friends on the streets. We will not cancel this coming Saturday’s dinner just because it is Christmas, but instead will be spending it with them, like my son said “it would be like spending it with family anyway.”

We will open the church up early and let our friends have the day to hangout and enjoy movies, games and an awesome dinner. We will open the doors at noon and probably start serving about one in the afternoon and go until the last one leaves. It is going to be a great time and I am really looking forward to spending the day with all.

It is going to take a lot to pull this off and we have taken care of most of it. We have the main meal taken care of, but are looking for people to help with side dishes and desserts. If this is something you might be interested in helping with please contact us. Every little bit helps and it will bless many who otherwise will be spending Christmas alone.
Merry Christmas to you all and praying the New Year bring you many Blessings!

Gas Station Encounter

2010-11-23T01:08:00.000-08:00

So I got of work about midnight tonight, as I walked outside there was my son waiting for me. Was nice to see him and have someone to ride home with. As we walked to the car, the wind was kicking up and it is so bitter cold out tonight. All I could think of was get home, change clothes and curl up on my couch and get warm.

As we drove down the street I had an urge to stop and get a soda at the gas station, why I wanted a cold soda on such a cold night…well God knows! I pull up to the gas station and I instantly notice the man just entering the store. I can tell he is on the streets. As I get out of the car I then notice his friend who was on crutches. I said hello to him as I entered the store and got my drink and watched his friend scrape up enough to get what he wanted to buy and then head out the door.

As I left they were standing close to my truck and I stopped and ask how they were doing. We spoke about how they came to be here in Boise, that they had no place to get out of cold, they said they were told the shelter was full, but to not worry that they would be fine. They had a friend who would feed them elk heart for breakfast in the morning and then they would be heading to Santa Cruz. Stating that it should only take them a few days to get there. So what can I help with right now I asked them. They stated their needs and I went back into the store and got what I could for them.

As I entered back into the store customers were complaining about the young men standing out side. Stating that they felt uncomfortable with them there and the store clerk should make them leave. I was so proud of the clerk, he stood up for the men and stated that he would not ask them to leave they had the same right to be there as anyone else. Funny thing about the whole situation was the two men on the streets were probably more polite and caring than anyone of the customers in the store. Sad part was they were not seen for the two beautiful people they were. To many times we are too quick to judge before seeing the whole person.

I left the store and spoke with the men a little longer and as I left I told them I was worried about them and wish I could do more, but would be keeping them in prayer as their journey continues. I asked if I could have a hug from each of them, as I got ready to go. I hugged the first man and he said he would be all right. The second young man for some reason my heart was really drawn towards him. He reached out his arms for a hug, he gave a big ol hug and then as I got ready to leave he said “Thanks Mom” and “don’t worry.”

I stood motionless for a moment when he said that. Why would he say that to a perfect stranger? I could feel the tears coming to my eyes. I turned and had an overwhelming need in my heart to telling him I cared about him and I loved him. He smiled again and said, “see ya later mom.”

Much love to you my new friend… You will be on my heart and in my prayers!

DJ's Pantry-Honoring a loving and giving man!

2010-11-15T22:21:00.000-08:00

Part of the big pictute that God gave me, included a food pantry. How this was to happen, I never could figure out and even though I had thought about it from time to time it was always stored in the back of my mind. Then one Saturday that we couldn't use the park, we were serving at Essential Truth Ministries. They are generous to let us use the kitchen and dinning room when we can't get into the park, what a blessing! I had noticed a woman with four children sitting by herself. She seemed to not fit in with the others and I decided to talk to her. I listened to her story of how she lost her job, her husband is still working, but they don't have enough to buy food sometimes and keep a roof over their head. She was new to all this and had no idea where to go for help, so her and her children go to the local dinners to eat. As she was telling me her story she broke down and sobbed and at that moment I could hear His voice telling me it is time. Time to go beyond the park and start reaching others in the community that are in need. So in addition to our Saturday dinners for our friends outside, we have now been given space at Essential Truth Ministries to start a food pantry, making it possible to be His arms extended to even more people.

We have decided to name the pantry DJ's Pantry, after Rachel's father in-law. We thought it would be a great way to honor him. Below is what Rachel has written about him. Even though Dennis may no longer be here with us, may we reach out with loving arms and bless those who come thru the doors of the pantry in the same way that DJ has blessed so many. His love of people, his willingness to help and generous heart may we continue to show this to the people we serve.

We are honored to announce the addition of DJ’s Pantry to Mosaic Street Ministries. This pantry is named after Dennis Jay Johnson who passed away in August of 2010. His life’s goodness embodies many of the qualities this pantry stands for. To say he was a good man would be an understatement. He had a heart of gold that could rival even the most faithful humanitarian. Easygoing and agreeable, his legacy will be, not only this pantry, but the philanthropy he offered so freely. His life’s wisdom was displayed selflessly through his genuine goodness towards everyone he met, making him the type of man who would give you the shirt off his back; even if he hardly knew you. Spending time with him was a true lesson in how to live. His enthusiasm for life was contagious and he exhibited a genuine kindness and love that many of us could only hope to emulate. Strangers became fast friends. Friends became family. Family was his life and his greatest passion. He didn’t believe in getting paid back from others, he believed in paying it forward. So please, take what you need, be blessed, and if one day you can pay it back, instead, help someone in need and pay it forward. Just like Dennis would do--

If you or if someone you know is in need of help with food in the Boise area, please contact us at MosaicStrMnistry@aol.com. If you would like to help with donations to help us stock the pantry we would be grateful. There are many needs out there and we are already seeing the people come thru the doors. Be Blessed!

Giving

2010-10-25T10:27:00.000-07:00

Our friends in the park have been given different labels. Depending on how you see them depends on the label you give them. I have seen them have things thrown at them as they walk down the street. Harassed, spit on and even have had a few of our friends beaten with in a inch of their lives, all because they have less than most of us have.

Saturday in the park was a lesson on the heart of people. After we served up our meal I was approached by a gentleman who reached over a placed something in my pocket. I looked to see what he had placed there and in my hand was a twenty-dollar bill. I told him I couldn’t take his money and after debating back and forth, he insisted I take it and use it for food for the park. No less than a half hour later another one of our friends came up and placed another twenty-dollar bill in my pocket. This is when I lost it, I broke down and started crying and spoke to him about how deeply his generosity had touched me and what it meant to us. We both stood crying and hugging each other. My son and I hung out for about another hour or so just talking to people when someone else approached us and asked for water, I told him he didn’t need to ask to just take what he needed. He did and walked off, to my surprise he returned about fifteen minutes later and he places a dollar bill in my pocket, saying it was to help others.

So your sitting here reading this and thinking, okay so it was a couple of twenties and dollar bill, what’s the big deal? Let’s see twenty dollars could buy them a cheap hotel for the night to stay out of the cold and rain. It could feed them for a few days. It could buy a sleeping bag to keep them warm through the winter. The list goes on and on. Instead they choose to give all they had. To give from their heart, putting aside their own needs and wants. Giving to help provide for others. They gave out of love for others. These are the same people who have been called bums, worthless, users and the least of our society.

Society may conceder them the least, but there are lessons we as a whole could learn from our friends on loving and giving unconditionally from the heart.

Loaves and Fishes

2010-09-19T21:08:00.000-07:00

Saturday morning I woke up early and started preparing the meal for our dinner in the park that afternoon. I figured on serving about fifty or sixty people, our numbers vary and lately we had only needed enough to serve about that amount. As I was fixing my totes with the various things we would need to serve, I grabbed a sleeve of plates and then started to put another in the tote, but then thought I will only need one of these, but then again thought what the heck and threw in the second. Okay at this point you need to understand that each sleeve contains 150 plates. My son and I then loaded up the truck and headed to the park.

As we turned into the park my son says, “My God look at the people.” I looked around and panic rushed through me like you wouldn’t believe. There were people everywhere in the park waiting on us to serve the meal. We don’t have enough food, I don’t know what to do right at this point, “what do I do...what do I do” is all I say. Then I thought well Lord I am giving this one to you, I am not going to panic over this and you let me know what you want me to do.

So we unloaded the truck and shortly afterward the Tonya, Jim and Ashley show up. As Tonya is getting out of the car, part of the salad she brought fell on the ground. So now we have even less food. Rachel then showed up and thankfully brought a pasta salad with her, but it still would not make up for the amount of food it would take to feed this crowd. At this point I thought lets start serving and see what happens.

So we began dishing up plates and didn’t really hold back on the amount, just dished it up. The line never seemed to end. More and more people kept showing up and even had some coming back for seconds, plus those one’s who will take a to go plate for later. As the last person went thru the line, I looked over to the last pan of food and there was still enough in there for another two or three servings. I looked at Tonya; she looked up at me and said, “I think we just a loaves and fishes kind of day.” How those words hit me later on that day. I thought back to what just happened in the park and realized what the Lord just did.

Remember the sleeves of plates; well we went through a whole sleeve (150 plates) and then some. I had taken extra to go plates; about ten or fifteen, we used all that day. By the end of the day we had served up at least 170 servings of food and just to remind you remember I only made enough for about fifty or sixty people. You do the math. After it all sunk in that evening I sat and cried over the goodness of God and was filled with the excitement of being able to see and witness exactly what our Lord did… the story of the loaves and fishes happening before my eyes.

The Lord’s blessings didn’t just end there that day. I picked up Gerald after the park. There is a friend who was formally homeless, but now has a place. Gerald said he just had double bypass surgery and wanted to take some food to him. So we ran by the church and fixed him up a box of food, took it to him and let him know that if he needed more we would bring it by. We don’t have much on our shelves right now as far as a food pantry goes, but it is getting there and we wanted to bless our friend with as much as we could. As I arrived at the church this morning the box we have out to collect food for the pantry was over flowing on to the floor. Once again tears welled up in my eyes and I just stood and stared at that box. A few people said look at all the food today; once again I could only stand in amazement of what the Lord had done. Thinking about all we read about in the bible and the things Jesus did and realizing he is still doing those things today… we just need to have our eyes open to see it!

Her beauty comes from the heart

2010-09-18T23:01:00.000-07:00

I want you to meet Rachel. I met Rachel online via my blog. We started corresponding online and she decided to come down and check us out at the park. When I first met her the first thing you notice about Rachel is the amazingly beautiful woman she is, but as you get to know her, you realize the beauty she possess goes beyond her outward appearance.

Rachel and Jessie

From the first day she came down to the park she made a impact on those that she met there. The love she has for people is felt by those she has come in contact with and will make an impact on their lives. Though some may only get to see the outward beauty this wonderful woman has, I feel truly blessed to get to see where her true beauty and love flows from.........Her Heart!

Tony, Jessie and Rachel

What a blessing to have such a compassionate Heart join with us as we reach out to our friends. Looking forward to getting to know Rachel even more in the days to come.

Thank You Rachel for giving of yourself

Taking that first step

2010-09-14T23:38:00.000-07:00

This past month I have been thinking a lot, reflecting on the park ministry and how things have changed and evolved over the years. I remember the day I said, “Yes I will do as you ask” and the Lord sent me to the streets. I had a bag of bologna sandwiches and was scared to death to speak to anyone, but when he sent me, he also showed me the bigger vision as to what he had in store. So I stepped out in faith and believed if I stayed focused on what he wanted, he would stay faithful to what he had shown me.

There have been times that it seemed overwhelming and I have wanted to walk away. Times of doubt of whether I am doing the right thing and to be honest those times of wondering if the Lord was still in the mist of things. I would then have to remind myself that if I continue doing what he has asked of me that he would stay true to the vision he gave me. These past few months have been a reminder of the bigger vision and that he is working, we just don’t always see him lining things up to make them happen.

Part of what he showed me were individuals working together for the sake of others, loving and serving those in need. He showed me beyond the park and what will come out of serving those there, serving not only our street friends, but also others in the community with needs. He also showed me a need for a place for our friends to come together, a place they felt as if they belonged, to worship and fellowship together. There are many other things he showed me, but will wait until another time to share those.

I want to focus on the last few months. It was a time when you don’t see anything happening, but you have that gut feeling like something is going to happen and then God shows you the next step in his plan. We were serving at the church one Saturday (couldn’t use the park) and this lady with four children came to eat. She seemed different than the others there and I watched her from across the room. As things calmed down I went to speak to her and she explained that she was not homeless, but she had lost her job and they only had her husband’s income right now. She had a choice as to pay the bills or put food on the table. She then broke down crying. At that moment I heard God speak to me and he said it is time. He showed me many years ago that we would have a food pantry to help those in the community and back then I did not know how that would be possible. I went to Essential Truth Ministries and explained the need and felt it was time to start such an outreach to help those around us. There was no hesitation and we now have a pantry room at the church and many will be blessed with it as soon as we can get it stocked…. I believe he is already making provisions for this as well.

I see other aspects of his vision coming together as well. He showed me a church that all would come together, no matter their status in life. At the same church that we served at (which is only about three or four blocks from the shelters and not far from the park) I am seeing this happen. Each Sunday I am seeing more and more of our friends from the park and shelters come thru the doors. It’s a place they feel like they can be at home in and it shows on their faces. It’s a place they don’t run out the doors when service is over, instead feel comfortable enough to hangout, get involved and most of all a place where I hope they know they are considered family and they are loved. It brings tears to my eyes to see our friends come thru the doors and feel so blessed that my friends would feel so welcome.

The Lord continues to show me those who are within the church and not within the church, those who have and those who don’t have, but each with a servants heart. He continues bring people from various parts of the community to join together to work as one body, to lay themselves aside and do what it takes to help another in need. I see Jesus moving thru each and everyone of them. I am thankful for their hearts and their willingness to also step out in faith and do what he has asked them to do. Many are and will be blessed by their humbleness and self-sacrifice. I look at them and see an example as how we should work together as one body and pray that others would see their example. What amazing things God could do.

So I reflect back on the first day in the park and my bologna sandwiches. I think back to those who said I was crazy and I can’t do it or leave it up to someone else. Then I think about all the amazing people God has brought thru my life during this time, the wonderful journey he has taken me on, the things he has shown me most of all the incredible faithfulness and love he has poured out. He gave me a vision at the time I thought was impossible to achieve, but I took that first step of faith and said, “Whatever you ask of me.” I see what he has done and I get a sense of excitement as to what is down the road, how this grand vision is going to all come together, the lives that will be touched and the wonderful people who will play a part in it.

Some of you are feeling that tug and you know that he is calling you to take that step of faith. Your afraid and you know it will come at a cost and your life may even be turned upside down, but if you step out, take his hand and let him lead you…. he will take you on a journey like no other.

Postcards from the edge: A modest vignette of a man no longer invisible.by Kenneth James

2010-09-05T18:34:00.000-07:00

Ronnie--post and photo by Ken

Ken is a friend, who when he has time will join us in the park. This is his post of a chance meeting he had with one of our friends from the park.

I’d like you to meet Ronald Timothy Merritt, a gentleman I met while taking pictures on a cold snowy day last December in downtown Boise. He plays harmonica, likes a beer or two, and sleeps where he can. Ronnie (His dad used to call him Ronnie) and I visited for about 1/2 hour that day. He shared a little about his life, we had a few laughs, and I took a few pictures.

Mr. Merritt was both surprised and delighted that anyone would want to take his picture. He didn't think he mattered enough. He thought he was too ugly, but I assured him that his was the perfect face for a great picture. Before we parted ways, he asked if he could have a copy. Of course I said yes.

Ron doesn’t dream of riches and fame. He doesn’t dream of someday owning a luxury home on a golf course or of driving a BMW. Life dealt him some tough blows over the years, broke his spirit, and he’s been down and out ever since. But what he does want is to be remembered, for someone to know that he once existed, that he once played and laughed, that he once loved, that he once had hopes and dreams, that he was once just like you and me. Ron was pleased at the thought that having his picture taken might, in some small way, fulfill that modest desire.

So here is Ronald Timothy Merritt; a child of God who was once his mother's pride and joy; a man whose father used to call Ronnie; a man who walks the streets of Boise and sleeps where he can, who plays harmonica and likes a beer or two now and then...and who will, from this day forward, not be forgotten.

Her paperback world

2010-08-23T21:50:00.000-07:00

I parked the car and started walking down the alley. There was a group of the guys there and stopped to talk to them. We laughed, joked and shared their company for a while. Through the group I could see her sitting there trying desperately to hide from the world.

She is beautiful, young and I had seen her around before. She sits alone with her books, never looking or engaging with anyone. I watch her as the others talk to me and I wonder what lies beneath. What has life done to her and what hurts and pains is she trying to escape from. Her books that are so dear to her, are they her world that she runs too? A place she can sit alone and escape to, do they hold a world that she wishes she had? Does she read of a love she longs for? I have never seen anyone who has tried to close themselves off from the world as much as she does.

I try to speak to her and all I can get out of her is that she is okay. I so want to put my arms around her and hold her and tell her how much she is loved. I know she is not ready for that now. She has built walls so high that it will take time to break them down. I will continue to check on her, keep her in prayer and hopefully in time those walls will weaken and crumble.

"AS IS"

2010-08-11T12:07:00.000-07:00

Was going thru my Journal the other day and came across an old entry. I had written about a trip to the thrift store that I had taken with one of my sons. He was looking for a cd player he could use at work.

When we got there, we were directed to the backroom of the store and told we might have to dig a little. James had said that he didn’t care how it looked or what shape it was in as long as he could play his cd’s on it. So we spent some time moving and digging thru things and then there it was, this awesome CD player buried beneath all the junk. It had a few dings, but James felt like he scored big time.

After we got home I was looking at it and noticed the tag taped to the player, it stated that the item was sold “as is” with all it’s dents, flaws, uniqueness and beauty. I sat and thought about the digging and the junk we just went thru to find this treasure and had to wonder how much digging and junk are we willing to go thru with someone to find the beauty and uniqueness they posses or are we to quick to toss them into the heap of undesirables?

The next time you come across that person who has been labeled “undesirable” and dicarded, are you willing to take the time to dig for that beauty that God placed in them and will you look him/her in the face and say “I will accept you AS IS”?

The Pain Cuts Deep

2010-07-14T00:29:00.000-07:00

“Hey girl, how you doing” I yelled to her as I saw her coming down the street.

She lowered her head as she approached and replied, “I’m fine.”

“Talk to me, what’s going on?” I knew something wasn’t right.

She looked around nervously and asked for me to come with her to a more private spot, so I followed her. She just stood and stared at me and after a few moments I once again asked, “What’s going on?”

She looked around one more time and then began to pull the sleeves of her shirt up. My heart sank and was filled with overwhelming sadness. There beneath the sleeves and the blood stained bandages was her pain. There was the fresh cuts of the torment she was going thru. Even beyond the fresh cuts lay months, maybe years of old scars. Pain that she had been caring around for who knows how long.

She goes on to tell me how the pain inside is too much to handle. That it just consumes her and the only way she can get rid of it is to cut. That there is a release, a easing of the pain when she cuts, but also explains that each time the pain gets worse, also comes the need to cut deeper.

The young lady mentioned above is doing fine now, but I think of her often and the hidden pain she concealed from the world. I think about the others in the park and even others beyond them. This is not something unique to the homeless; it is in ever aspect of our society. Hurting people, who mask the pain, conceal it and hide it from the world in one form or another. You pass them everyday in the store, at work, on the street, at the park anywhere you go. I pray that we hear their screams for help before it is too late. I ask that my eyes be opened even more to the needs of others around me.

Who's time schedule

2010-06-14T11:48:00.000-07:00

I look in his crystal blue eyes that now sparkle with a bit of joy in them and think back to when I first met him. I don’t want to say I was afraid of him, but I was uneasy with the anger that he would bring to the park. I would see him coming and honestly I would want to run the other way. He would always show up so drunk that most of the time he couldn’t stand for very long and most often would end up sprawled out and passed out. I will not go into detail the things he would say in anger as he went thru the line, but you can get the idea.

I didn’t know how to deal with him and honestly would ask God at times to please don’t make me deal with this man. I know it wasn’t right, but I was so unnerved every time I was around him. Each time I was told in response to just keep loving him. So I would make it a point to approach him smile and ask how he is doing and if there is anything I could get him or help him with. Each response from him was a response of anger and basically a get out of my face attitude. I would smile, telling to have a nice day and as I walked away I would say I love you. He would mumble something not nice and I would pretend I didn’t hear it.

We went back and forth like this for the past year now and about four or five months ago I approached him again along with his friends. Expecting the same response as always, but this time he stood up, got in my face, raised his voice and asked why? Why do you care, why do you keep telling me you love me, why do you waste your time on me?

This time he didn’t unnerve me and something rose up in me, I stood my ground with him, looked him in the eyes and I have to say I raised my voice to him. Not in anger and not something I normally do with our friends. But as he stood there with his friends I told him of the beautiful person God created, the worth and value that God saw him and the love he has for him. I then told him that he could continue to bad mouth me, direct his anger at me, do what he want to drive me away, but I wasn’t going anywhere and most of all he could never make me stop loving him or the others there in the park. It got quiet and they just stood there no one moved, I looked them all in the face and told them to have a nice day and remember, “I love you” and walked away.

A few weeks later here comes my friend again, but this time he held his head down as he walked thru the line, said hello and walked off. A little later I turned to get something out of one of totes and sitting directly behind me was my friend. I about jumped out of my skin, totally expecting him to go off on me, but he ate and then left. Each week I would notice that he would be eating his meal closer hanging out and each week I would do and say what the Lord asked me to say to him. Then as he stood one day with a few other men and with his head hanging he asked “What you keep telling me is it true?” Oh sweetheart you have no idea the love we have for you and we could never love you as much as God loves you. He looked up at me with tears in his eyes, which made me start to cry as well. Not too much was said after that, but something happened, something I can’t explain. Each week he now shows up, his head lifted a little higher, a smile on his face, he sits close by and drinks a lot less when he comes down. I make it a point to put my arms around him, hug him tightly and never leave without telling him he is loved. God is changing him from the inside out; He is working on the heart.

Why am I telling you about my friend? I am learning and being changed as well. What we do in the park has been a lesson on the heart of God for me. It is also a lesson in waiting or having patience. We live in a world where we want everything fast and now, even results we want to see immediate results and the Lord just doesn’t work that way. He is loving and patient. God has been working on this man’s heart and continues to work on his heart, but it has been a yearlong struggle with him. I struggle that to be honest I wanted to walk away from. I am being honest because we all have those people in our lives that you just don’t know how to get thru to them and you just want to walk away and move on to the next, but God doesn’t work that way. He waits never turning away always working on the heart. We don’t always see the work that God is doing and we shouldn’t be in too much of a rush to throw in the towel. There are those who are immediately changed by the love of God and then there are those who will need a little more time, maybe years…but we need to learn that no one is worth giving up on. We need to be at peace knowing that God is in control and he is working on his time schedule not ours.

THE LOTUS

2010-06-11T12:22:00.000-07:00

I have always been fascinated with the lotus flower and recently have had this picture in my head to draw. As I started drawing, a song from a cd Ashley gave me kept going thru my head. “Beauty for Ashes” by Steven Curtis Chapman, he sings how beauty will rise from the ashes and we will dance among the ruins.

Then I thought of the lotus flower. It starts its life beneath the water in the murky mud, struggling to make its way thru the mud always searching upward to the light. When it finally breaks through the surface and finds the light, it blossoms and becomes a beautiful flower.

Much like our own lives, some have found the light and others are still looking and searching for it. May we all breakthrough and find the light that brings us beauty and life.

I did it

2010-06-07T22:29:00.000-07:00

I walked in Corpus (the shelter) today. As I entered I noticed her across the room, she smiled and locked eyes with me. I went to talk to her, but was stopped by someone wanting to talk for a minute. As we talked I could see her standing patiently waiting with that look on her face. I have seen that look many times and it means something was up and someone needs to be heard.

I finally made it over to her and asked her what was up. She then beamed with the most excited smile on her face. She made a decision to try and get her GED and had passed the first four tests. Something she thought she would never achieve.

After speaking to her I walk over to the new education center they have and was met by one of the young men who joins us in the park. “See what I got,” he says. There displayed on the wall was a certificate showing that he had completed schooling to be a firefighter, the kind that goes around the country fighting wild fires.

After telling me their wonderful news,they would slightly lower their heads and wait for your reaction. I felt as if they were waiting for a bomb to be dropped on them. Then I had to remember that some, no matter how hard they tried, they were told they weren’t good enough, had no worth and would become nothing. Was this what they were waiting to hear? Well not this time.

I thought it was a privilege that they would share such wonderful news with me and I smiled with excitement, I felt like a proud mama. The kids were taking the next step and I couldn’t have been more proud of them. She then went on to speak of how she would like to go to college and he spoke of all he had to go thru to get his certificate and what life was going to be like soon. The world had knocked them down, but for right now they are holding their heads high, they are learning that they are more than what the world says they are and they have a dream for the future. I am so unbelievably happy for them.

As I was leaving a passed a gentleman I had never seen before and he asked, “Is this where the smart people are? They say I am dumb and I came in here to see if I can get some help.” I went from excitement to heart break in a matter of seconds. But it’s okay because sweet man you don’t know it yet, but you are going to get to know what a beautiful person God created you to be. I will be praying for you and I know in my heart God is going to touch you in ways you don’t know, I could see it all over you today.

I wear my sunglasses at night

2010-06-02T22:47:00.000-07:00

No I don’t wear my sunglasses at night! It’s just when I was trying to figure out what to call this blog that song popped in my head.

So why are we talking about sunglasses? Well I have noticed from time to time with our friends in the park that when you switch things up, it throws things out of whack. Consistency and trust with our friends is a big deal and is a big part of forming a relationship with them.

I realized when we changed big things, like in the past the time and location, etc. these things took them time to get use to and readjust to as well. But it is the little things that I never thought would make a difference that really have bugged some of our friends.

Little things like, one time Tonya decided to wear her camo pants to the park. She wears them often, but had never worn them down there and when she did it really bugged them. Her daughter Ashley use to wear a big floppy hat every week and then something happened to it, so she began to wear a different one and this bothered them so much that one of them went out and got her another floppy hat.

A few weeks ago I wore my sunglasses at the park and was told they don’t like it when I wear them. They say they look like cop sunglasses and they can’t see my eyes. So the sunglasses I can understand (they are mirrored), it reminds them of the police, but not being able seeing my eyes I wondered if it went further than that. When speaking to them if they can’t see my eyes then they don’t know if I am really looking at them and they don’t know if I am really paying attention to what they are saying. So I will try to remember to not wear my sunglass there…I always want to look eye-to-eye with someone. I want them to see in my eyes that when they are upset I care, when they are hurting my heart hurts for them and when I tell them I love them I want them to see it not just hear it.

So that brings us back to the Camo pants and Hat………still can’t figure this one out. If anyone has any insight......inquiring minds want to know!

Unexpected Blessings

2010-05-20T13:52:00.000-07:00

I was blessed this week by two very unique gifts I received from two wonderful families. I thought they were beautiful and wanted to share them with you.

Tiffany and Keith gave me the above card with the photo of the flames. I love this picture and the more I look at it the more hearts I continue to see in it. Thank you for your gift, it really lifted my spirits that day. I see your hearts like the one’s in the picture, burning with the Lord’s love for others.

Don and Susan gave the above tile to me this week. Susan hand carved the mold and then cast the tile. I have a thing for crosses and I love to collect them, this one is extra special that it was made by hand with love from a beautiful heart. Thank you both for the wonderful gift.

Refined in Fire

2010-05-12T21:41:00.000-07:00

He holds your heart. Refining in fire what is emerging is the Heart of the Father.

The Briefcase

2010-05-11T18:44:00.000-07:00

The day after Robert died, I went into the shelter to see the guys. As I was getting ready to leave, a gentleman who I had met only one time before approached me. He asked if he could talk to me privately, so we sat and talked.

He showed me the briefcase and explained that he carries it all day with him, afraid to leave it anywhere in fear that someone may take it. He said that his whole life was in there, who to contact if something happened and who he was to the world. He then asked if I would please take it home and keep it for him.

So I brought it home to hold for him. It sits in the corner of one of my rooms. As I pass by it from time to time, it brings thoughts of this gentleman to my mind. I think of what a privilege to be trusted as the keeper of all that he thinks he is and what is important to him.

But then I begin to pray for my friend, praying that he will learn to know that the Creator All Mighty has given him more worth and value than what that small briefcase can ever hold and the love the Lord has for him can never be contained and stored away in a corner.

MY FRIENDS ARE BEAUTIFUL

2010-05-08T19:29:00.000-07:00

What a day! We were going to be down about five people today to begin with (they had previous plans for the weekend). Woke up late and which made me late getting things started for the park. Half-hour before going down the chicken was still cold, poor oven had to be put it into overdrive. It just seemed once thing after another and then was faced with a bigger crowd than I have ever seen for the first of the month.

I arrived at the park drained already and didn't want to even get out of the truck. Before I knew it though, the guys had emptied my truck and got things setup. Ashley was already setup with her stuff, Mac, Eric and Darlene (our friends from the park) jumped in and started serving. About a 140 plates later we were finished and we could step back and breath.

Then you realize what a beautiful day it was, the sun shining, everyone in good moods and such awesome people to spend the day with. I stepped back for a minute and looked around and thought about how blessed I was to be able to get to spend the day with such wonderful people.

When I got home and unloaded everything, I remembered Mac had given me something and I went to take a look at it. I have to admit it brought me to tears. You see we go to be a blessing to our friends, but there are those times when at the end of the day, you are the one walking away being the one truly blessed that day!

"THANK YOU" to all my friends in the park for making it such a wonderful day and beautiful Mother's Day cards....you have no idea how much they mean to me and will always be treasured.......I Love You!!!

Touching the Heart with Love

2010-05-07T18:45:00.000-07:00

I saw her Saturday sitting with one of our friends in the park. Deep in conversation, not knowing what they were talking about, but delighted in the sight of her sharing her time and heart with him.

Days later she would tell me a little of their conversation and as to how at one point he held out his hands to her and asked “Would you pray for me?” Tears began to fill my eyes when I heard her tell me about this. What she did not know is that God has been working on in this man’s heart for few months now. I have watched little by little each week seeing the transforming power of Lord working in him, being patient and allowing it to happen in God’s time.

Then that day the walls came down and the door was open, he extended his hands out to her and she extended the hands of God back to him. Holding his hands she spoke love into his life and showed him the love of the father, a Love that will forever be planted deep within his heart.

What a beautiful sight to see Jesus shine thru you Tiffany!

Weeding

2010-05-04T14:37:00.000-07:00

I was on my way down to the park one Saturday, driving thru the neighborhood people were out mowing their lawns, but God directed my attention to a little old lady weeding her flowerbeds. “Why are you showing me this I asked”, but got no response and I didn’t think much about it until later.

There have been some shifts and changes happening with the park since about the end of November. Many times the Lord telling me to remove or cut off different things or influences that have been brought in, not always understanding the reasoning behind them, but always knowing that it is best to listen to his voice and do as he asks.

As I got home that Saturday I was thinking about the park and all that has been going on and he reminded me of the older lady weeding her flowerbed. He spoke to me telling me that good seeds have been and are being planted. During the growth process of these seeds, many plants sprout up. All looking the same, but some coming from a different source. As they continue to grow and mix with the good seeds, they take on a look of their own and stand out for what they are, weeds. If not removed they will continue to grow, suck the life out of and eventually killing off the good seeds that were planted.

So we have been going thru a weeding period. Though it may have been hard at times it has been worth it. We are seeing new growth on many levels with our friends as well as the ministry, new seeds are being planted and those that have been planted are beginning to emerge with a bigger desire to be watered, fed and cared for and we have had the privilege of having some of the most wonderful people to tend to his garden. Each gently caring for each seed planted.

So when tending to his garden some of the work may be hard and painful, but the end results will be worth all the work put into it, for he will grow a garden of beauty and that beauty is already evident in what is already beginning to bloom.

Jesus on both sides of the table

2010-04-27T14:46:00.000-07:00

Tonight’s our contemplative group night at Tonya’s and I was sitting here thinking about last weeks group. I sat there watching the storm outside. She had the patio doors open and I could hear the rain, then there was this cool breeze that swept through the door. At that moment God showed me the park. I was standing at the end of the serving line looking back down the middle of tables. On one side of the tables was Jesus dressed in a glorious white robe standing in the middle of all those who came to serve. He had his hand stretched out and with the most beautiful smile on his face he was handing a plate of food to one of the guys in line.

I turned to see whom he was handing it to, it was one of our guys in the park, but then I noticed the next man in line. It was Jesus dressed as a homeless man. So we have Jesus on both sides of table, on one side he is the humble servant and the other side he is the one being served.

Tell me your thoughts. I know what God was trying to tell me, would love to hear what you get out of it though.

Hands

2010-04-24T21:31:00.000-07:00

They can Give..or they can take away.
They can Built up…or pull down.
They can Reach out….or push away.
They can Extend in Love….or hurt and destroy.
They can Embrace and comfort ……or reject.

With a simple touch on the shoulder, a handshake or an embracing hug you can make a hardened heart begin to soften, make someone feel like they have worth and to that invisible soul you let them know that they are seen and truly loved.

It’s your choice as to how you want to extend yours.

Some of Ken's photos from a few weeks ago!

2010-04-23T07:56:00.000-07:00

Some of our friends in the park gave Ken permission to take their photos and just wanted to share a few of them with you!

An UPDATE 4-21-2010

2010-04-21T21:34:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to share some of what is going on concerning the park. I think the worst of the bad weather is behind us and warmer weather has graced us at the park (thank you Lord). With the warmer weather we are see the numbers of those coming increase. With this increase we are seeing more new people on the streets, some who are new in town and also more of those who have a home, but need help with a meal. With the generosity of wonderful people we are able to continue feeding our regulars as well as all the new faces we are seeing. Many people are having their needs met because of your beautiful hearts….Thank You!

I also want to thanks all of you who come and give of yourselves to serve and be with our friends. Each week I see and hear how you are touching lives, you are a group of people who are individually serving our Lord through intimate encounters with those He leads us to.

There are something's I would like to share with you. On a sad note, last week we lost one of our street friends.

Robert was attacked as he was helping a woman defend herself. During the attack he was stabbed and lost his life. Robert had been someone I have know for about two years now. He struggled with his alcoholism and so desperately wanted to clean up. With all he had been dealing with, I had the opportunity to see the other side of him and in our many talks I got to see the beautiful person God created him to be. They had a beautiful memorial for him in the park. His sister, wife and son were there and they were able to hear how he loved them dearly and what a wonderful friend he was to those on the streets. I ask that if the Lord lays it on your heart…please pray for his family, they could use prayer right now.

On a brighter note I wanted to share about little miss Hava and Abraham. These two are the children of Keith and Tiffany and they have been joining their parents when they come down to park.

It is the most beautiful thing to watch these two little kids interact with our friends. Hava has such compassion and love in her heart for the people. A couple of weeks ago her mom brought a stool down so she could help serve, serving was Hava’s idea and she took it seriously and she did it with such love it made you want to cry. Abraham has taken a liking to one of our guys (Dan) and they play together and sometime even argue with each other, it is so funny to watch. But to see the two of them interact is beautiful, I see a joy and a smile that comes to Dan’s face that I have never seen before. It is like watching a grandfather interact with his grandchild. For a few hours a week these beautiful children bring a sense of family to our friends and for a few ours they are not homeless, but instead a family enjoying the day in the park. These two children bring a love to the park in ways the rest of us cant. What a blessing they are to many!

NEEDS:
Books-paperback
Size 2T girls summer clothes
Have had a need for Backpacks (Tonya donated two, but we are always in need of more)
Pray-please pray for those serving that we walk in his will and prayer for those we are serving. May the Lord direct them to us and open their hearts.
We had a request from someone in the park: They wanted to know if anyone had a portable volleyball net and would they want to have a game one weekend.

Thank each and every one of you for all you do. The love of Christ shines through you and that light is reaching many hearts that have lived in darkness for a long time. I see that reflected in their eyes and the smiles that come to their faces when they see you. Blessings to you all!

Grace--wash over me!

2010-04-18T21:52:00.000-07:00

Just sharing with ya! :)

2010-04-05T12:21:00.000-07:00

One of the guys in the park gave me these Saturday! Thought they were cool looking and wanted to share!

What's Cooking for 3-27-2010

2010-03-26T08:40:00.000-07:00

Served up biscuits and gravy this morning at Corpus shelter and below is the menu for this Saturday. Look forward to seeing all of you down there again this week. What an awesome group of people we have who come down to share themselves and the love of God with people. I am thankful for each and every one of you...true servants who only want to give of themselves.

This weeks menu for Saturday:
Spaghetti
Salad or Green Beans
Garlic Rolls
Desert
Bottled water

HAVE YOU SEEN HEATHER?

2010-03-21T16:40:00.000-07:00

A woman yesterday in the park approached me, she handed me a flier and asked if I had seen this woman. I told her I had seen her on the news, but had not seen her in the park. Then I looked in her eyes and her eyes said it all. I asked are you her mother and with tears welling up she said yes. My heart broke for this woman; you could see her heartbreak, pain and love for a daughter she so desperately wanted to find.

I pray that Heather will be returned to family soon and if God lays it on your heart will you also say a prayer for her and her family.

Park Update March 2010

2010-03-17T12:22:00.000-07:00

Okay so I haven’t been very good about updating on what is going on at the park, so I am going to make an attempt to do it more often. Will also try and post the menu each week.

We made it thru the winter season and are very much looking forward to warmer weather. During the winter months, the amount of people who where coming dropped, but now that better weather is here we are starting to see out numbers increase again. With that increase we are also seeing a number of new faces. What an opportunity to love on some new people as well as our regulars.

Longer days and warm weather gives us the opportunity spend more time with the people as well as getting back into playing some football again. The guys said they are ready for a game and I found the football.

I want to thank all of those who come out each week or just when they can. I recently spoke to a couple who now have housing, but continue to come down from time to time, they walk for over a hour to just come down and they say they come for the friendship and love they receive there. This should speak volumes to those who help, what an impact you are making.

A special thanks goes out to:
The Hunter’s and the Haught’s for helping prepare food each week.
All of those you help support us financially.
Keith and Tiffany for bringing down the bus from time to time to give our friends a special treat and the donation of bread.
All the others from Boise and Nampa that come down, jump in where needed or just hangout and love on the people.
What a blessing each and every one of you are and we could not do what we do without you!

I have been rattling around an idea of having an art class in the evenings for the kids from the park. Have a place we can do it and it would be about twice a month. Probably for about an hour or two, it is still in the thought process, but if you have any ideas or input, please let me know.

Also thinking of doing something special for Easter. If you have any ideas, toss them my way.

This week’s menu:
Barbecue Chicken
Salads
Deviled eggs
Desert

Needs:Please continue to pray for those in the park as well as those coming to serve. May we be a reflection of Christ and a witness to those you do not know him.
Donations of food or financial help to obtain food
Socks
Sunscreen
Would like to obtain some more tablecloths, if you know where I can get some cheap please let me know.

Many of our friends our receiving housing vouchers and will begin the process of moving into new homes. Please pray that these transitions will go easy for them and that the new life they are about to start will be a positive one for them.

May you all be blessed and your cups be over flowing….for you have blessed many!

HIDDEN JEWEL

2010-03-14T18:48:00.000-07:00

The winds that blow on the streets have not been kind to him.
The harsh gusts have blown with fierceness and over time have turned his long hair gray. Looking so much older than he is.

Summer sun has turned his skin to leather.
Winkles that surround his eyes reveal the deep valleys he has walked thru.

Cracked, blistered lips are evidence of the bitter cold days of not finding warmth.

His clothes contain the stains of the streets and struggle to survive.
It’s in the crashing waves that you hear his heart screaming to be loved.

But there is more to my friend. He smiles and it ignites a sparkle in the deep ocean blues of his eyes. There hidden deep with in the ocean waters lay his hopes and dreams that are locked away. Then you find it in the deepest depths, on the ocean floor, his hidden treasure box holding the beautiful jewel that he is.

The jewel waiting to be found and brought to the surface, past the crashing waves and on to shore to be revealed to the world.

We just need to love them and to be willing to help them find it, for sometimes they don’t see it for themselves.

DOORS

2010-03-12T21:35:00.000-08:00

There are those times when you hear Him speak and He says it’s time to shut the door. You can’t continue on the way things are, but yet if the door shuts you don’t know what to do. Then you are reminded that if you stay faithful to what you are called to do, He will take care of all the needs.

So you stand before the closed door wondering where do I go from here? Then you wait, you pray and continue to listening to His voice and following His direction, even if it makes no sense and the world around you doesn’t understand.

For when you least expect it, He places that key in the next door and He flings it wide open. Blessings begin to rain down and you know that new door is the beginning of a new part of the journey. In the past few years many doors have been shut, shut because in keeping them open would mean straying from God’s calling. But with each shut door I am beginning to not stress and instead rejoice, because I know that if I just wait patiently and remain faithful that new door opens to so much more than the one that was closed! This new door looks exciting and can't wait to see what is on the other side of it!

So stand stong even if those around you don't agree or don't understand, for when He is ready your door will open and your new journey will begin.

Cancer Wont Keep This One Down!--By Julie Cruz

2010-03-02T23:08:00.000-08:00

Repost from Julie's Blog: http://www.lifehouseministryoc.com/
Each week Deb faithfully prepares a part of the meal to be served to the homeless. She loads it up and takes it to the local Boise park where she stands in line with about 15 other people dishing out a wonderful warm meal to anyone who wants one. Mostly homeless friends come and enjoy the meal and their company. Deb has become a well known fixture among their friends who live outside. They give her hugs and have given her gifts. Deb has been doing this for several months, working alongside Denie who has been bringing her friends lunch each week for over a year.

We have the same thing here in Orange County and we fight over who gets Deb for that week! Traveling back and forth from Boise to Orange County gives Deb the opportunity to share herself with both homeless communities and they both love her dearly.

At the beginning of the year, Deb found out that after 12 years breast cancer has returned. At this writing Deb is fighting a courageous battle. Her treatment has left her nauseated, tired and with an intense pain in her stomach but she is fighting on because she still has a lot of work to do hanging out with our friends in the park! Even when she was about to start her treatment, she was here in Orange County feeding the homeless and loving on all of our friends. They missed her deeply when she wasn’t there helping in February and I am always hearing them say, “tell her we miss her”. “Tell her we’re praying for her”. She has made a great impact on our friends!

I would ask you all to hold her up in your prayers on a constant basis! She is so loved and adored for the wonderful, generous, real, friend that she is. Pray that the treatment isn’t so harsh on her body but ruthless on the cancer.

We’ll see her again soon serving up a warm and nutritious spoonful of yummy!

She Wanted to Commit Suicide – She Made Me a Keychain Instead-by Julie Cruz

2010-02-26T14:41:00.000-08:00

Got the plessure of meeting Julie for the first time, on her recent trip up from California.
Julie with out friends in the park.

She was able to come down and spend time with us at the park and then we had a day when we got to spend a little time together. Our day didn't turn out like we expected. Below is a recent post of of hers about that day. Julie has a ministry in California were she also serves and helps our friends outside. To connect with her or to take a look at what she is doing, check out her website: www.lifehouseministryoc.com

During a recent visit to Boise Idaho a friend and I went shopping at a Army Surplus store for rain ponchos for my homeless friends in Orange County, I was buying them to take back home. While waiting at the register to pay for my find, Denie got a desperate call from a gentleman who runs a day-shelter that she visits ministers in frequently. “You gotta get here right way” he said. “This young girl is talking about taking her life”.

We drove to the shelter as quickly as we could. When we arrived, sitting in the corner was a 21 year old white girl, with a backpack at her feet, a tissue in her hand and tears streaming down her face. We sat down and listened for 3 hours. We both felt that she needed to talk and we needed to listen. She expressed how broken she was – she had just tried meth for the first time in her life and she’d been awake for 2 days. She just needed friends and the ones that she found weren’t the kind of friends who care if you lives or dies. As she continued to talk, we could tell that she began to dig into the farthest corners of her atrophied heart and pull out the root of her pain. When she was 5 years old, she hid under the bed while her mom, dad and sisters were all murdered – she survived… sort of. I would be the farm that she wished that she was with her dead family. We could see that the moment she brought that out of her hidden place, a light began to shine on her face. You really would have had to be watching but the heaviness didnt seem so heavy – her shoulders not so slumped. She talked about being in and out of foster care after the murder. I asked her if any of them were good experiences for her – “not really” she said. Once she became an adult she entered into a variety of different mental health facilities. They have pumped her full of meds trying to stabilize her life – they dont seem to be working too well.

I noticed a delicate hand knotted necklace she was wearing and said something about it. She made it she said very proud – i found out later that this is how she makes her money. I asked her if I bought her some beads would she make one for me before I left. She bent forward unzipped her backpack and pulled out a keychain that she had already made and handed it to me, not looking up at me. Even to this day writing this I cant help but cry – she gave me piece her heart and her creativity as well as her livelihood.

We ran down to the store and bought her a load of beading supplies, hoping she could fit these into her backpack. when we got back to the shelter, she had managed to find a dark place to take a much needed nap but came out to receive her gift with gratitude.

I heard that she is doing well… Denie has seen her at the park. Still homeless – and hopefully not doing drugs. This is one person that I want to be off the streets and engaging in life as it was meant to be – with more joy than sadness. Be safe, be well and be whole little one.

PAUL (PAULIE) 2-20-2010

2010-02-21T11:53:00.000-08:00

Paulie with the big smile and the eyes that always light up.
Paulie with the funniest belly laugh.
Paulie who felt the need to be my protector when at the underpass.
Paulie with the red nose who reminded you of Santa Claus.
Paulie with the biggest bear hugs you could imagine.

Paulie who took his last dime one day to buy me a rose.

Paulie who only wanted to feel the sunshine on his face.
Paulie who dreamed of one day having his own place, finding peace and no longer being on the streets.
Paulie who always would leave saying “Love ya” and you felt you were truly loved.

I got a phone call on the way to the park today and was told Paulie our beautiful loving friend died today!

“Love ya Paulie”

FEBRUARY 18th

2010-02-17T23:17:00.000-08:00

Today is one of those days that, I call bitter sweet. It is a day long ago, when my boys were younger, that meant a double celebration in our house. Today is a day that we celebrate not only my oldest sons birthday, but my middle sons as well. They were both born on the same day only a year apart.

My middle son after being gone almost ten years moved back home a little less than a year ago. This is the first time we will spend his birthday together since he went back to Florida, he will turn 27 today. Over the years with him being in Florida, I had sent gifts and called to wish him a Happy Birthday, but secretly hiding my pain that comes along with this day.

Each February 18th is also a reminder of the fact that my oldest son would also be turning another year older; he would have turned 28 today. I wish I could have seen the man he would have grown to be. It has been ten years since he passed away, but days like today make it seem like yesterday. The hole in your heart opens once again and the pain comes rushing back as if the hole was freshly made. I don’t know how to get over this loss in my life, but I am learning to mourn silently, learning to hide the pain and when I can’t hide it I jump in the car and take a drive. Drive until I find myself alone, there I cry and scream out to God and cry until the tears come no more.

The pain inside is like a double edge sword, it cuts deep and is a constant reminder of the pain inside that is hidden from those around me, but it is also a reminder of the beautiful son that God blessed me with…. even though it may have been for a short time! A beautiful loving son I wish the world could have gotten to know. He cared so much about people, only wanting to see them happy and know they were loved.

I don’t know how to handle today. So I think I will go for that drive and be back in time for other son to come home from work, put a smile on my face, bury everything else back in the corners of my heart and wish him a big “Happy Birthday!” I will secretly mourn, but today I will also celebrate life out loud!

WE RECEIVE LOVE WHEN WE COME TO THE PARK

2010-02-16T12:06:00.000-08:00

I was standing talking to someone, when she came bouncing down the sidewalk. Her eyes lit up and she grabbed me, giving me a big old hug.

“Do you have any idea how much we love you guys?” she asked. "Okay", I reponded trying to figure out what she was refering too.

She went on to say, “Out of all the people who serve in this town, out of all the places we go to eat, there is only one place where we feel like we are truly loved. We can show up for dinner on Saturday, but what we really receive is love. Love that no one else shows us.”

Those words of hers have been playing over and over again in my head and I think of those who come down to the park and give so much of themselves. Whether it is every week you come down, once in awhile or help in other ways you all have a part in showing our wonderful friends that they are Loved. You love where no one else would love and you truly are a reflection of God’s love in the world. Thank you for allowing Him to shine thru you and know that there are many forgotten people in this town that love you more than you will ever know!

Cutting the ties

2010-02-07T23:08:00.000-08:00

What I hear in your words are words of what you want, what you feel about something, what you think is right, how you think things should be and what you think God is thinking. Have you ever stopped to consider what the Lord has spoken to me? The vision that He gave me and how I try to stay focused on that vision and faithful to Him?

I have spent sometime in prayer over this and the other night the Lord asked me a few short questions.

Do these person’s words cause you to draw closer to the Lord? … No, they keep my focus on his/her ideas of what is should be done and what he/she thinks is right.

Does this persons actions reflect Christ? …Not always, they seem to be focused on exalting himself/herself.

Does keeping a friendship with this person keep you focused on the Lord and the work He has called you to do? … No, I spend more time worrying about what he/she wants.

A friendship that pulls you away from the Lord is spiritually unhealthy. Unhealthy in the sense that you spend more time worrying about pleasing the others wants and wishes and you stop focusing on what the Lord has asked of you. This type of friendship needs to be cut. After spending time in prayer about this again the other night, the Lord almost immediately confirmed this with His own words, Mark 6:11"If you're not welcomed, not listened to, quietly withdraw. Don't make a scene. Shrug your shoulders and be on your way." So this is where this chapter ends, but it’s okay a new one is waiting to be written. My focus is back where it should be and the Lord was waiting patiently…it is good to hear His voice again.

HAPPY 1ST ANNIVERSERY

2010-01-28T00:21:00.000-08:00

A year ago this month, I had the pleasure of being introduced to two amazing families, the Hunter’s and the Haught’s. A mutual friend, Vivian who I had met in Portland, introduced us. They had an interest in what I was doing in the park and had asked if they could come down and check it out.

That first day in the park when the six of them came down to see what we do, is a day I will never forget and a day we still laugh about. I wish you could have seen them then and now. That’s another story.

I have had others come and go in the park, but this group saw the vision that the Lord laid on my heart. Instead of trying to change it, they embraced it and ran with it. I had prayed for a long time that the Lord would bring people along side that would see people thru His eyes, love them with His heart and just love on them period. These two families were the best answer to prayer that I could have received, they are an extension of Him in this world and I couldn’t be more thankful for having them be a part of what we do in the park.

They are dedicated and loving people that give so much of themselves to those who have not. They have gone from the group standing off to the side, not knowing what to do, to being embraced by all in the park. As our friends who live outside would say “They are family!” They took a step of faith and entered a world and community that most would not wander into. They asked nothing of themselves, but give all they can to those who others chose to ignore. In doing so lives have are being changed, I see smiles where there were none, a laughter where there was none heard, an embrace when others were afraid to touch and love where there was no love at all. They are Christ extend in this world and I thank the Lord for them continuously.

To this beautiful group, I say “Thank You” so much for all you do; you have no idea how much you are loved. So Happy 1st Anniversary and Welcome to the Family…whether you like it or not your part of us now!

Sometimes the Best way to Minister to someone is to keep your Mouth Shut!

2010-01-24T22:15:00.000-08:00

A young man approached me, I had never met him- “When I was sixteen my step father would beat and beat me.” “No one would help, so I left home so it would stop.”

I ask silently “Lord what do I do and say?”

“Just listen,” he answers.

An old man I met in the park- “I was an engineer, I was laid off, my wife couldn’t take it, she left and then I lost everything.” “Now I drink to kill the pain I feel inside.”

“Lord I don’t know what to do,” I quietly plead.

“Be still and listen,” He whispers.

Yesterday in the park she says, “My father wrapped his hands around my throat, choked me and beats me.”

“Lord I need to do something and I need you to help,” I scream in my head.

“You stand there, look her in the eyes and just listen” He again says.

Today a new girl, Julie and I met says, “I tried Meth for the first time last night, I am a horrible person for doing that.” “I just want to have friends and I can’t find any friends.” “I am so lonely I can’t stand it and I don’t know what it is like to have someone care about me.” Then it comes, “I hid under the bed when I was five and I watched as my family was murdered.” “I feel guilty for being alive and I don’t understand why I was left.” “I think of killing myself.” She proceeds to spill out.

“Lord please, Oh Lord please give me the words to speak to her. Lord I need to do something here and I am at a loss, please speak to me as to what to do.” I plead silently.

He once again softly speaks to me and say, “look her in the eyes and listen”

Each and every time when all was spilled out, the person would look as to what now. Then I hear His voice again and instead of asking me to be silent, He says, “wrap My arms around them, gentle tell them about the worth I see in them. Tell them about the beautiful person I created. Tell them how much I care about them. Tell them and show them how much they are loved.” The tension leaves, they tear up, but this time they smile and you see in their eyes that something has happened. God did something and when they walk away you realize the Lord did His best ministering in the silent corridors of their heart.

I have asked Him over and over again to use me as He wishes, that I only wish to be Him extend and a willing vessel. So I am learning more and more to just be, be still, be silent, be listening for His direction and be a willing instrument. I am learning that sometimes that means having to just keep your mouth shut and allow Him to do His work in silence.

FOR ANDREW

2010-01-11T15:58:00.000-08:00

Lou...this picture God gave me to draw for your son Andrew. He very clearly said "He will Rise Above the Ash and Flames."

THE WHEELS ON THE BUS GO ROUND AND ROUND

2010-01-05T00:10:00.000-08:00

The wheels on the bus go round and round…. okay just a quick flashback to my days of teaching. The real reason I am bringing up a bus is to “Thank” all the families from Nampa who came out Christmas Eve to the underpass.

There were four to five families that came down with a converted bus. They brought wonderful homemade soup, chili and other goodies with them. Each and every one of them giving up their Christmas Eve to serve and love on those who may not have had anyone this Christmas. The next day at the park, people asked who the “cool people” on the bus were? They may not have expressed it that day, but our friends were truly grateful for your generosity and love you extended to them.

So to all the families that came, I once again say “Thank You” and our friends down there that day also say the same. Your beautiful people with very kind and loving hearts……….MUCH LOVE TO YOU!

LADY T's POEMS AND PRAYERS

2010-01-02T21:20:00.000-08:00

I met Tonya back in Jan. ’09, since then she has been a regular in the park with her daughter and husband. She has been a blessing helping serve and cook for the park always there no matter what, but she is also someone our friends have grown to love and lean on. This past Christmas Eve I had the chance to get together with her and a few other friends and completely unexpected received this beautiful gift of prayers and poems that she had written. I sat here the other night and read it over and over, each time learning more about the heart of this beautiful lady, each page bringing a tear to my eyes. I found some of my own thoughts and struggles expressed in her words, but also found Hope and Joy in them as well. I thank you Tonya for sharing with me…it has and will continue to be a blessing to me. She has given me permission to post her poems and prayers in my blog, so from time to time I will be posting one. I pray that they touch you as much as they have touched my heart………..Love you Tonya!

(This is Tonya’s introduction to her poems and prayers)

T’S POEMS & PRAYERS ll..

I enjoyed putting together my Poems and Prose from my earlier days in my Creative Writing classes so much that I continued in the same vein to share some of the more recent things I’ve written. In Jan. ’09, I began writing Poetry again. It had been awhile since I had expressed myself this way.

Many of these Poems have helped resolve the turmoil within, as well as express my true feelings. I think that’s why Writing has become really a way of life for me. It has given my heart a voice, and for that I am truly grateful…Some of these poems were born from a place of complete honesty within myself. When I came to terms with my earlier days of shame from a horrific childhood to a place in my mid-thirties when I discovered the love and passion of my Papa-God. -Tonya Haught

WHO AM I?

…I am someone who is familiar with sorrow,
But walks hand in hand with joy.

…I think I know a lot, but the moment I admit I do,
I realize how much I don’t!

….I am both a Wise child, and a Foolish adult.

…I am a Paradox.
…I am carefree and somber,
Full of laughter and pain.
…I am not Afraid anymore.
…I am not alone.

…I struggle under the weight of Life,
But I walk upright!

…I choose not to despair because to do so,
Is to turn your back on God…I will not!

…I break His heart…and He heals mine!
…I am Poor, but worth millions!
…I am my Daddy-God’s greatest treasure!

…I am Amazing Grace!!!

Th…1997 Tonya Haught

TOUCHABLE

2010-01-01T16:20:00.000-08:00

TOUCHABLE JESUS, TOUCHABLE CHURCH

I was reading a blog by: http://underthebridgepdx.wordpress.com/ and really liked the theme they had for the New Year! It's how I feel about the park!

"The theme for the year at New Life is Touchable Jesus, Touchable Church. I think this is a perfect description of what we are seeing God do through Church Under the Bridge. He is bringing people from all walks of life … all unique in how they were created and their life experiences … and yet all vulnerable to grief, loss, and sadness, all hungry for a kind word, a gentle touch, a listening ear, and all created in the image of God to be a vessel for God’s love and mercy to flow freely from. These are the common threads that run through humanity that cause us to draw close to God and each other. I have been touched by so many under the bridge who, after being touched, I know it is Jesus, through them, touching me. What a privilege it is to be used by God to be His touchable Jesus church."

WHO'S FACE DO YOU SEE?

2009-12-30T22:11:00.000-08:00

Photo by-Ken Winkleman

Ken was downtown and ran into one of our friends from the park. He took this picture of him. I thought it was beautiful and wanted to share it with you. Who's face do you see?

We are all created in His image!!!!

REMEMBERING THE FOURTEEN

2009-12-21T22:59:00.000-08:00

News clip of memorial above(the news reports eight lost, we read of fourteen names of lost loved ones)

Today, December 21 is the represents the first day of winter. It is also the day that we all come together at the Corpus Christi shelter to remember our friends outside that have passed during the year.

As I arrived I was amazed at the amount of people who showed up, not just those on the streets but also those from the community, all wanting to show in someway that these wonderful people were not forgotten and loved.

It was a beautiful memorial. An Indian drum circle played Native American songs on the drums. People from different religious backgrounds spoke and read poetry. Christian, Jewish and Buddhist prayers were spoken, each reminding of the peace, hope, love and acceptance we need in our lives. The one thing that stood out in my mind was some of the words that Henry, the director of Corpus said, “We all leave footprints on the hearts of the lives we come in contact with and those footprints are carried on to the next person.”

As I stood among the hundred or so people, you could see the hurt and fear in their eyes. The hurt over lost friends and the fear that it could be them. As I stood there one of the young men walked up next to me and stood real close. Then at one point I thought someone had bumped into him and knocked him into me. As I caught my footing I notice that no one had bumped him, but instead he was trying to lean on me. He was trying to get as close as he could. I looked him in the eyes and I could see his hurt and pain. No words were spoken, I knew what he was after, I held out my arms and he collapsed in my arms sobbing and sobbing. We both stood crying as they read off the fourteen names of those we lost this year.

Another came up and asked if I would remember her if she were gone. One asked if I would hold is hand. One man I did not know kept circling around and then just walked up and hugged me and said, “I love you!” One after another came just wanting to be touched and held for a moment. Each just wanting to know that they to are not forgotten and loved. I pray that the footprint I leave on the lives of my friends is that they are loved, they are someone special and they will always be remembered! I know each and every one of them has left their footprint on my life. For those fourteen we lost this year, I pray that they also knew how deeply loved they were.

I AM MORE THAN A CHARLIE BROWN TREE!

2009-12-15T22:24:00.000-08:00

When you first glanced at me, did you see that I am a Charlie Brown Tree? But, if you look closer there is more to me to see.

At one time I had roots and a foundation. I lived among the forest of beautiful trees, tall and proud. Unforeseen circumstances and an unstable foundation brought me crumbling down. Now my foundation is a bit wobbly and it’s held together with nails and scraps of what was once me.

I am not much to look at; just a small branch is all that is left. Even though I once lived among the large forest, along the way I became broken, discarded and now just a piece of my former self.

Now they hide me in the back lot, to ashamed for me to be seen. The ones who stand tall and beautiful are the ones people want to see. So, here I sit alone, unseen, unwanted and unloved. Wishing someone could see me for what I could be.

Look closer at me; do you see it? I struggle to hold onto one single bulb, it still glimmers and shines from time to time. It holds my hopes and dreams. It is my gem for the world to see, if they would only look.

If you wrap a blanket around my foundation, I will stand a little taller. If I were tended to patiently, fed, watered and given love, I would begin to grow strong again. It wouldn’t take much.

In time I may begin to look much like my former self, but I would be different in many ways. This time because tended to with love, my foundation will be stronger and my roots will grow deeper. I would stand taller and prouder than all the other trees, because you saw the hidden beauty in me.

Our friends in the park are much like this tree. Broken, discarded, no longer have a firm foundation to stand on and are just a shell of their former selves. You have looked past the forest of people and saw the discarded, broken and hidden. Thank you for wrapping your arms around them and helping them stand a little stronger. Thank you for caring for them, so they have a chance to grow new roots. Thank you for seeing that they have hopes and dreams and most of all Thank you for Loving them. I see it in their smiles and in their eyes, they come because they know that to you, they are someone special, they are truly loved and you see their hidden beauty! You see more than just a Charlie Brown Tree! Love you very much!

Three Guys and Jesus--by Ken Loyd

2009-12-09T21:19:00.000-08:00

One of Ken's http://kenloyd.net/ recent posts that I wanted to share:

Almost nobody in Portland has gear for seventeen degrees because it never gets that cold here…except yesterday…and this week…maybe next.

So I was out with a couple of huge, IKEA bags jammed full of stuff. Socks, tarps, two sleeping bags, hoodies, hats, gloves and, best of all, hand warmers. At one point I ran across three guys huddled together in a small alcove, trying to escape the wind.

“You guys cold?” The cosmic absurdity of that query hit me just as the words left my mouth. Too late to retrieve them, though. Then, “Want some handwarmers?”

Guy #1 took the four pair I handed him and, as I fumbled for more, gave one each to his buddies. Now he had two and the others had one each. #1 fiddled with the extra handwarmer, twirling it in his fingers uncomfortably. An imbalance. What to do? I gave four each to his friends and without a word they each handed one back to their generous friend. Balance achieved!

I think there is a tincture of Jesus in most, maybe all, people. It shows itself in the form of love, sharing, taking in then giving away, even to our own hurt. Would these guys name the name of Jesus as their Lord and Savior, World Without End, Amen? I don’t know, I didn’t ask, but I observed His life coursing through their veins in that moment.

It happens often in downtown Portland, Oregon among the “least” of these.

IT'S NOT RIGHT!

2009-12-08T19:41:00.000-08:00

I awoke this morning to the morning news. The head of one of the biggest shelters here in town was on the news stating that with the bitter cold weather no one is turned away. Then went on to state that they opened addition bedding for women and children and there is still plenty of room there. The one problem with that is, most people on the streets are men. Yes, no child should have to endure this weather or spend the night on the streets, but if there are empty beds why do we have people sleeping outside? Oh Yeah, they said no one was turned away. What we want people to hear and what is the truth is not always the same.

With temperatures dropping down to minus five last night, I was thinking that was great, those who normally do not have a place to stay found shelter from the cold. I still wanted to check on the guys and headed to the underpass. There were the guys, bundled under many blankets, but thank God alive.

I started asking around about how everyone is doing and what can I do to help them staying warm. I said, “So you were able to get into the shelter last night?” “No”, was the reply. One was turned away stating that the shelter said they were full. When the cop found him early that morning, he stated his reason for camping out. The cop drug him to the shelter and when asked the shelter stated that no one was turned away….who do you think the cop believed? Trespassing ticket was issued. No money for the ticket and now he will have to do time for something someone else lied about. Another one of my guys has a prior conviction, which I will not get into here. He has done his time; he doesn’t drink, is always trying to help others and is an all around nice guy. Because of his conviction he was told he couldn’t stay there.

These are just two and there are many other stories. It was minus five last night and if I would have left my dog outside and someone found out, I would be in trouble for animal cruelty. I want to know why in the hell an animal has more rights and is treated better than our fellow human beings? Yeah I am mad, mad that a shelter will say anything to make themselves look good to the public, so donations keep coming in and in fact they are turning people away. I want to know why the same place will continue to hold judgment over a man, never giving him a second chance? Every year we lose people to the elements and it is always the same on the news “just a homeless guy who lost his life to the cold.” Well it wasn’t some homeless guy, this is someone I cared about, someone I loved, and he was a friend and part of my extended family. I am so tired of see my friends discarded like a piece of trash on the side of the road and I don’t know how to change it.

Yeah I am on a rant, I am venting…call it what you want, but no matter what you call it…IT’S STILL NOT RIGHT for people to be treated like this and we will have to answer for our actions in the end!!!

I SCREWED UP!

2009-11-22T21:24:00.000-08:00

Saturday in the park we were having a great time visiting with our friends. I was engaging with a group of young men, joking around having a good time, and then I screwed up. Earlier one of the older gentlemen had given me a pack of cigs that I put in my pocket. From time to time our friends will give me something and no matter what it is I never refuse, in their way they feel like they are giving back and if I say no, they feel like their gift is not good enough. Anyway, I was standing there talking to this group of young men. When one of them wanted a cigarette, remembering the pack in my pocket, I meant to ask “Do any of you Guys want one of these?” what came out of my mouth was “Do any of you People want one of these.”

Now you have to understand that this group of guys have been a group that were always coming down to eat, but would grab a plate and then high tail it back to the far picnic bench to continue drinking and doing their drugs, never wanting anymore from us than a plate of food. About a month ago this all changed. They started coming over, getting their food then hanging out and talking. Then came the “can I have a hug before I leave.” Now when they show up, they bee line it strait over and let you know they are there and always want you to hug and love on them……you almost can’t get rid of them now…LOL.

Well after my screwed up comment, one of them jokingly asked what I meant by “You People, I thought we were all the same down here?” I tried to explain that it was not my intention to say that and I would never think of them as “You people.” I apologized and asked if they would forgive me. They said they knew what I meant and that I considered them like family, that they were just giving me a hard time.

It went deeper for me though. It still bothers me that I could have with one slip of the tongue and with one word destroyed the relationship that has been built with these young men. In no way do I ever want to hurt them or make them feel like they are different. With one word you can build up or you can destroy and my heartaches at the thought that I could have in spit second inflicted more pain into lives that were already hurting. I love my friends with a passion I cannot explain and I pray that I never have one of those “I screwed up moments again!”

Removal

2009-11-20T21:56:00.000-08:00

My drawing for Ben.
He is removing all the old....so more of His heart will shine thru!

EYES---by Ken Loyd

2009-11-19T22:45:00.000-08:00

Why do some “normals” (people with jobs who live indoors) get acceptance more quickly downtown among our friends than others?

One possible reason can be found in our eyes. Window of the soul and all that.

Our friends search our eyes to see if we are safe. They must. Their survival depends on it.

Check this out. They can see in, but, better than that, we can consciously project outward from real places in our souls. We can project love, acceptance, delight, and the desire to know and connect right onto the screens of their hearts. Child-like wonder doesn’t hurt at all, either.

Cool, huh?

PS Jim Henderson would call this ” being intentional.”

FOR JUST ONE MOMENT WITH YOU!

2009-11-09T21:20:00.000-08:00

The day you entered my life, I was filled with excitement, yet fear all at the same time.

Filled with joy over this new guy in my life, but fear of not being good enough for him.

Could I be there for him in all his needs?
Could I help make all his dreams come true?
Could I love him with everything I had?

Then you left. No notice, no warning, in a blink of an eye you were no longer here. My world came to a crashing halt and shattered before my eyes. A part of my heart where I held you so close, broke and now is left with emptiness, pain and grief.

I sit here ten years later and think if I could just have one more moment with you.

I would give my legs to have one more moment to walk with you!

I would give up speaking if I could just for one moment tell you how much I love you!

I would give up my eyes to see your face for just one moment!

I would give up my arms to hold you for just one moment!

I would give up my life and all I have to spend just one more moment with you and have you say the one word I long to hear again…….”MOM!”

I love you my dear son!

Franklin
Feb. 18, 1982-Nov. 10, 1999

Don’t ever forget to tell those you love, how much you really do LOVE THEM!

Homeless Sue

2009-11-09T10:23:00.000-08:00

Recent article from the Idaho Statesman:

Homeless Boiseans sue over public camping ban

The suit says enforcing the rule amounts to cruel and unusual punishment in a city where shelters are overflowing.

BY REBECCA BOONE - The Associated Press
Published: 11/09/09

The lawsuit, filed last month in federal court by seven residents, echoes similar cases popping up around the nation, all targeting rules that advocates say amount to the criminalization of homelessness.

On any given night, the suit contends, between 2,000 and 4,500 people are homeless in Idaho's capital city, and only about 700 of them will be able to get a bed or a mat on the floor in one of the area's shelters. The others have no choice but to violate city ordinances against camping or sleeping in public, the filing states.

"Boise police officers routinely issue camping citations to homeless residents for sleeping, sitting, or talking with friends in public places - activities non-homeless residents have the freedom to engage in without fear of police interference," the group writes in the lawsuit, filed in the names of Janet F. Bell, Brian S. Carson, Craig Fox, Robert Martin, Lawrence Lee Smith, Robert Anderson and Pamela S. Hawkins.

Boise City Attorney Scott Muir said he couldn't comment on pending litigation.

But Tulin Ozdegre, an attorney with the National Center on Homelessness and Poverty who is representing the Boise homeless residents in the lawsuit, said the poor economy and high foreclosure rate mean the ranks of the homeless will continue to grow.

"Many communities around the country are seeing a dramatic rise in the number of homeless people, and most cities don't have the resources to meet the need," she said. "Currently we're involved in a couple other lawsuits as well. In St. Petersburg, Fla., we're challenging a number of laws and practices there targeting homeless people. And we have another lawsuit in the city of Dallas with a different twist, over a law that restricts groups from sharing food with homeless people in public spaces."

Cities nationwide are dealing with similar issues. Honolulu began enforcing an overnight camping ban at a local park a year ago, but in October the City Council shelved a measure that would have made it illegal to sleep on the sidewalk after some members questioned how it would affect the homeless.

Homeless advocates sued the city of Portland last year over an anti-camping ordinance, a case that is now in settlement negotiations. In October, the California city of Laguna Beach created a sleeping area for the homeless in response to a lawsuit that claimed the city was harassing disabled homeless residents. The ACLU sued Santa Barbara, Calif., in March, contending that an ordinance banning nighttime sleeping on public property unfairly criminalized the homeless.

On Tuesday, Boise City Council members are expected to hear on third reading a measure that would clarify the word "camping" to mean the use of public property as a sojourn or a place of residence anytime between sunset and sunrise. The change also states that storing personal belongings, cooking or making a fire in an unauthorized area also indicates that someone is camping.

The plaintiffs in the case don't have addresses or phone numbers and couldn't be immediately reached. But they detailed their circumstances in the lawsuit.

Martin, who is mentally ill, has a physical disability and has been homeless on and off for 11 years - since he was 18 - has been cited twice this year for sleeping near local shelters, according to the lawsuit. Martin contends he can't walk far because of his disability, which means he can't hike out of town to sleep and then back in to get to a soup kitchen where he can shower, clean his clothes and eat. Smith lived in his camper van until it was stolen, and now often sleeps along the Boise River, according to the lawsuit. After getting two camping citations in 2007, Smith says he served 100 days in jail. He also lost his tent, stove and fishing equipment after the arrest, he said, making it harder to survive without shelter.

The homeless residents are asking the court to order the city to expunge their records of any homeless person wrongly ticketed, to pay damages and to declare that the city's actions violated constitutional rights of homeless residents.

Finding God Again!

2009-11-07T21:33:00.000-08:00

I wrote a blog a long time ago called “Finding God in the small things” or something to that sort. I told about how when I started going to the park that the Lord would show me or reveal himself to me in the small things. He would direct my attention to someone and show me how He sees them. Someone who you just could not reach, you would pray for time and time again and one day He would breakdown the walls of their heart and they would just open up. He showed me the special love He has for each and every one of his children and most of all the deep unconditional love He has. There are thousands of things I learned about the heart and love of the Father there in the park.

Today after the park, one of the guys asked if I would give him a ride back to the halfway house where he was staying. Hippie dude (my nickname for him) has been one of those that I have known since the first time going to the park. The first six months of knowing him, well I can’t say I knew him; he actually wouldn’t give me the time of day to tell you the truth. Those first few months I would respect his boundaries, offer him something to eat and let God deal with the rest. One day as I was leaving I heard someone yell “Hey sister”, I turned to see who had yelled and it was Hippie dude. I thought okay here we go. I have been yelled at, cussed out and many other things those first months in the park and here I thought I was going to get it again. The Lord taught me well in this area. My first instinct when this happened would be to fight back. Thank you Lord for speaking to me before I would open my mouth. He would very gently speak to my heart and would say, “They have been hurt and are still hurting. They don’t want to be hurt anymore, so they try and push you away. If they let you in, they are afraid you will hurt them more. So, just love them period.” So like I said I was ready for what every Hippie dude was going to dish out and I would react in way I always did, stand there smile, let them vent on me and as I would leave I would just say “I still love you.” The look on their face was always priceless. That day though Hippie dud just very calmly looked at me and said “I love you.” God was opening up a heart. Things happen slowly in the park and little things like that may not seem like much to some, but to me that is a beautiful move of God.

So we flash forward a year and a half and people are comfortable with us now. They open up more freely and they let the walls down much quicker. They feel safe and they feel loved. Today Hippie dude loaded up his bike and we headed down the street to his place. He turned to me and said “Hey sister, are you like religious?” I told him that I think that being religious and having faith are to different things. That anyone can be religious, but I had a deep faith. I told him I was a Christian and that my faith and love for Christ was very special to me. “Oh” was the response I got from him. Then he turns again and says “you guys are different and not now, but can we talk about it one day?” “Anytime you want to my friend, anytime” was my response. God was working all this time in my friend’s heart and I missed it. We had gone from complete rejection to trust, to acceptance, “I love you” and friendship, but God didn’t stop there.

I started looking for God in the big things, not seeing or hearing Him as often, then I found Him again still working on the small things, where He does His biggest work…in the Heart! May I continue to see the transformation that the love of God can do in someone’s heart and life, no matter how long it takes. May I never stop seeing or hearing Him in all the small things. It’s the small things that I long for! It’s the matters of the heart that I want to stay focused on, everything else God will take care of!

Spiritual Transformation Journey Begins with .....

2009-10-31T00:26:00.000-07:00

Story worth reading:

Spiritual Transformation Journey Begins with Feeding the Homeless
http://www.constructionrisk.com/spiritual.htm

Tokenism…a few practical suggestions

2009-10-12T21:38:00.000-07:00

A recent post by Ken that I thought was worth reposting. You can find Ken at:http://kenloyd.net/

KEN LOYD’S BLOG
Tokenism…a few practical suggestions
We’re good people. We do actually care.

If there was a Satan, this is what I think he’d do to good, caring people: he would blind us to the very real horrors going on all around us. How? He’d encourage us to make a token gesture, let the pee sit in the bowl, do something nice at Christmas for the “poor”, be slightly less oppressive to women than the next person, Facebook our outrage at child prostitution. Something like that. He’d then give us a squirt of endorphins to warm us all over and whisper quietly in our ear, “Good job!, Sally (Bill, Fred, Sharon).”

There actually is a Satan, I believe, and that’s exactly what he does to good, caring people. Especially good, caring American people. Most especially good, caring Christian American people. How else can we explain little or no visible action coming from our nation and churches in an age when the enormity of human suffering is splattered all over the news on a daily basis?

Here are some mental errors most of us, I think, make in the thought-to-emotion-to-action transition:

American? We have been taught to believe that those who have less, are less. In the church world, prosperity equals blessing for a good life lived.
Young American? In your, “I’m-here-what’s-going-on-there?-texting-four-people-while-having-coffee-with-a-fifth-Google-everything-wired-to-the-hilt world, it’s easy to care about everything so much that actually doing anything gets lost in the melee.
Emergent Christian? Lots of palaver, not much do. Trap.
Theological bent? See above.
We easily confuse reading and knowing with doing. They are not remotely the same. To bend James’ words a bit, “Reading without doing is dead.” (sorry, Jimmie)
Have enough money? Live indoors? Have a Job? Vehicle? Stuff? It’s called insulation! We (especially Christians) need to get out more. Uninsulated.
We can easily let the talking heads (teachers, professors, preachers, newspeople, etc.) think and do on our behalf.
Low self esteem a la: “I’m too small (shy, uneducated, old, young, unhip, your limit here _________) to make a difference.”
With so many kinds of injustice in the world, which one to choose?
Catch the drift?
Good, caring people paralyzed by our own brains.

Some suggestions to help us get off the dime (to coin an old phrase):

Read/study/ask questions of actual doers. Learn about injustice of all kinds.
Set a time limit for your study phase. Remember: Reading is not doing. Knowing is not doing. Only doing is doing.
Ask, “What’s my heart (God?) telling me?” What moved you most? What excited most you? What grieved you most?
Get involved with that. If something moves you to action, you may well stick. If you’re just going along with someone else, it’s difficult to pay attention for long.
What are you good at? Do that for a caring/justice cause.
What do you enjoy doing? Do that for a caring/justice cause.
Consider that small might just be the new big. (less insulation)
Consider that local might just be the new mission field. (less insulation)
Get in touch with your own brokenness. It will connect you with the rest of humanity. (less insulation)
You want endorphins? Then get started!
Love,

Ken

A MOTHER'S THANKS TO THOSE UNKNOWN

2009-10-03T20:20:00.000-07:00

During our lifetime we have moments where we think, if I could just do this one big thing or if I had lots of money I could do and help a lot of people. It’s in between those moments that we sometimes forget about the little things that make the most impact in the lives of others. In the moments where there are no others around, no fan fair, no big production, just a small act of kindness that can make a change in someone's life.

Below you will find a blog written by a wonderful person I met online. She writes about the kindness of strangers and the impact it had on her beautiful son. You can find more of her blogs at: http://brokenheartedmom.blogspot.com/

4/6/08

Thank You

Some believe there are angels among us. I never really gave it any thought B.H. (before heroin). But my son is alive today through the immeasurable kindness of strangers. The people who gave him a dollar, a sandwich, a smile, or a hand up are many. I will never be able to express my gratitude to the good people along the way to rock bottom who tried to break the fall. I'm especially grateful to the ones who did not judge.

My son has told me of kind strangers who saw a terribly troubled soul and reached out. I would like to acknowledge a few who easily could have averted their eyes, and walked on.

Thank you stranger in Michigan, for calling that ambulance.

Thank you Arizona State Trooper who bought my son a Big Mac, got my phone number from him, drove him to a treatment facility, and then called me to tell me where my boy was.

Thank you lovely woman in Riverside, California who let a dirty, stoned boy use her cell phone to call home, and then gave him $5.

Thanks to the man in Utah who bought himself a coffee and donut, saw my son, and without a word handed it to him.

And to the special stranger in downtown Detroit: You saw my son walking down the cold, winter street. It was 16 degrees, -3 windchill; he had no hat, gloves, decent shoes, nothing but cotton pants and a sweatshirt. You pulled your car along side him, and got out. Andrew was confused, and wary, expecting you to taunt or hurt him. You took off your coat, held it out to him. "You need this more than I do, brother," you said. Then you got in your car and drove away.

Be you angels or mortals..you have taught me I must pass it on.

PARK UPDATE SEPTEMBER 2009

2009-09-16T12:36:00.000-07:00

The needs on the streets are growing and each week that is becoming more apparent. For the past few months, there are more and more new faces showing up at the park. People who are new to the streets as well as what is considered the new homeless, those who have homes but have to make a choice of weather to pay rent or buy food. So, they come down and share our table with us. We share the table with all and turn no one away. The winter months are coming quickly and some of the shelters are all ready full. This is alarming. The shelters usually never fill up until the bitter cold sets in and those who normally camp out, come in to get out of the cold. With the shelters filling up, there will be more out on the streets exposed to the cold. Last year it was reported that eight lost their lives to the elements. During those months there is always an increase in the number of people at the park looking for a warm meal. We are already preparing food for 200 each week and I ask that you pray that we will be able to continue to serve our friends when that increase comes.

I want to thank all of you that continue to come down and serve our friends in the park; they are touched by your generosity and love. For those who cannot make it to the park, we thank you for your support and prayers; you are making a difference in their lives. We have had a few new people coming to help, Bob, Joni, Linda, her son and Ryan have joined us as well. They have been welcomed into what our park friends call the family. Our park friends don’t consider us a feed, but instead a weekly family picnic. What an honor!

They have made this weekly gathering so much theirs that on the weekends that Deb is not cooking, I give over my kitchen to a few that insist on cooking, their way of giving back to us. We also had a street couple that so much wanted to bless us they bought food for this past weekend. Our friends don’t have much but they are generous with what they do have.

I am amazed at what the Lord is doing. Next month will be two years that I have been going to the park. What started as a call from God to go hand out sandwiches to a few people in need, He has blessed and has become a large gathering of our friends without homes. The Lord has brought some amazing, wonderful, giving people along on this journey and each and every one of you has been an answer to prayer and a blessing beyond belief. You will never know how grateful our homeless community, as well as myself are to you.

Instead of going to the park at four, we have changed the time to four thirty. This change is to help us better serve our friends.

Our friends continuously ask me to thank you for see them for the wonderful people they are and loving them period.

PRAISE REPORT

*Jim (out guitar guy) received housing a little over a month a go.

*Nate and Hillary on Sept. 11 gave birth to their son Timothy 7 pounds 9 ounces. On the same day they received housing and have since moved into their own place. Mom and baby are doing fine and Nate couldn’t be a prouder papa.

PRAYER REQUESTS AND NEEDS

*Walls that our friends have built up are coming down. Their hearts are beginning to open and the Lord is preparing those hearts. Pray for their salvation and the opportunity for us to speak into their lives.

*Help us pray for finances to continue feeding and to help obtain a building we can use for church services as well as be used to further help our friends and the rest of the community.

*Please pray against the spirit of alcoholism. The Lord has showing me lately the grip this addiction has on the people and I ask you that you pray that those addictions will be broken.

*Pray for those who have made it off the streets. Transitioning into normal society can be hard.

*A few of our friends had their things taken and are in need of some clothing, below are a list of things they are in need of. If you can help in anyway, please let me know and thank you.

Large backpack—dark colored
Men’s tennis shoes size 10 and size 11
Women’s tennis shoes size 6 ½
Women’s pants size 9/10
Women’s underwear size 6
Women’s shirt’s size medium

When all is gone

2009-09-15T20:47:00.000-07:00

Our passion in life, our desire does it emerge out of the flames of our pain? And when the flames become all consuming, does our passion turn to ash, do the windstorms of life scatter them never to return? When the flames burn out and all is left is smoldering numbness....where do you go from there? When do you find the joy that fuels the flames?

JUST CALL ME “MA”

2009-08-30T23:16:00.000-07:00

There are three gentlemen who show up in the park on Saturday’s. I have known them now going on two years; they have been there since the start of me going to the park. A few months ago they started referring to me as “MA” and I in turn refer to them as the “The good son”, “The quiet son” and “The brat”. Each one of them a bit older than me, but they still call me Ma.

Recently someone in the park mentioned to them that they should have more respect and should not refer to me as Ma. I explained that I do not take offense to them calling me that and it was a joke between us. The more I thought about it, that simple word “MA” has become much more.

When I hear them call me that I think of Ma Kettle from the old TV show. A woman standing on her front porch, hair a mess, beat up clothes with a corncob pipe hanging from her mouth. Bare footed at times, laughing yet feisty, but always ready to welcome in friends and the passer bye. So, does this offend me? NO.

Why? Because even though the word Ma may not bring thoughts of a woman with great dignity or authority, it has attached to it words that bring much more meaning, friendliness and the sense of comfortableness. It tells me that we are growing closer in our relationships with our friends, they are becoming more and more comfortable with us; they look at us as friends and family. They have even said we are having a family picnic each week, not a feed. So, in the end do I mind being called Ma? No, I find myself humbled and honored to be given the title of “MA”.

TJ-- a life taken to soon 7-25-2009

2009-07-28T15:15:00.000-07:00

I have been trying to write this blog for a few days now, but each time I start the tears come, I shut down the computer and think of a life taken way to soon.

TJ was in his twenties and was father to a four-year-old little boy, CJ. His friends say that he was headed back to Seattle after getting his son in Ohio. Passing through he told people, but ended up staying much longer. Why did he stay? No one knows, but I hope it is because he found a family and community that loved him and took him in as one of their own. When I listen to people talk about him he is described as, true friend, the best father who loved his son very much, someone they loved and loved people back.

From what I understand, TJ was out with his friends earlier Saturday. They had a beer or two and during this time, methadone was put into the beer. Weather intentional or not no one knows at this time. He came back to the shelter, laid down in the back parking lot against the wall and even though many checked on him from time to time, he slipped away from a drug overdose.

No matter what happened we have to remember, He was a friend, someone’s son, grandson, a father, a friend and a child of God, all who loved him very much!

He was family and the lose hit hard with those on the streets. I see the hurt and sadness in their eyes, so you hold them a little tighter and reassure them they are loved, cared about and will never be forgotten.

There will be a memorial service for him at the Corpus day shelter on Friday at 11:30, in the back. We will gather as friends and family and say goodbye to this life gone to soon. We will morn and overtime the pain that is felt by this void in our hearts will ease, but that void will always remind us of the precious gift we received by having him in our lives, even if it was for a brief time. TJ you were loved by so many and I pray that you felt that love while you were still with us.

The street community set up a memorial wall at the spot TJ passed away, many heart felt and letters of love cover the wall.

HIS NAME

2009-07-27T13:53:00.000-07:00

He is truly alone in this life.

His wish is for you is to see him and look him in the eyes.

As they drive by him, he is given a label....Bum, Drunk, Crack Head, Wino.
They have all ready judged him.

He asks nothing from you.

But Bum, as he is called, he only wants to give you something and
he longs and desires to give you the only thing he truly owns,
HIS NAME!

MY STORY--by Tonya Haught

2009-07-21T13:19:00.000-07:00

When I write my blog, you get my view and perspective on what goes on down at the park. Tonya emailed her story this morning and I wanted to share it with you, a look at the park through another pair of eyes and another heart. Tonya, Ashley and all the others are a blessing to have there. May you enjoy and be encouraged by her story.....It brought tears to my eyes! Be Blessed my friends!

TONYA AND ASHLEY

My Story . . .

All of us have a story. This part of the story I call my life began in January 2009 when we met through a mutual friend a gal named Denie. She had been going down to the park to feed her friends without homes for over a year. My daughter, my husband, myself and 2 of our dearest friends with their daughter, began to visit and meet Denie at the park. What a beautiful interchange we saw witnessed with these people and Denie. They were kind, considerate, and genuinely respected Denie and the simple, nourishing food she brought them each week. But there was so very much more to see. It is not the food that these lovely people show up for each week. It is the love and acceptance that they have received from Denie as she pours her heart and soul into this ministry that she has been called to. For me personally, it took a few months of feeling very inadequate and humbled by what I saw. We began to bake goodies, and help serve hot meals to these incredible people, and bit by bit, they too began to open themselves to us. Now I stand in line with my daughter beside me, and watch their eyes shine as she passes out some of their favorite home-baked chocolate brownies. . .they love those brownies. . .but again, it’s more than that. They are kindred spirits with Ashley. One day one of the regulars did a little mock hold-up and told Ashley not to turn around, because this was a stick-up and to give him as many brownies as she could. Of course she recognized his voice, and he was able to stuff as many brownies into his pockets as he wanted. They love her so much, and she returns that love whole-heartedly.

Denie warned me that there might come a time when my own heart would be broken. That happened a few weeks ago, when we had so many people that we ran out of food. Not that we haven’t run out before, but there is usually enough so that everyone has at least one turn in line. In this case we literally had a few chips left, and that was it. One of the regular couples came late, and I will have their faces etched on my mind for ever. . .a look of hopeless shock and disappointment was there, and I truly felt helpless at that moment. But within minutes, people were offering to them a few extra sandwiches. They really weren’t extra, as this was their supper they were giving up. Without hesitation, they gave. I was amazed at this selfless act. They have so little themselves yet they give so generously. Like the widow’s mite they have shown me the faith of a mustard seed.

Being down at the park with our friends without homes, has taught me something that I have never known in my life. There is still so much to give. . .of myself, my heart, my time, energy and resource. When I think I’ve tapped those things out , it doesn’t take me long to realize, I’ve only scratched the surface of what I can give. I wouldn’t be honest if I didn’t say I have concern. (my concern translates to worry in 10 seconds or less. . .) But, a good friend just recently reminded me that “Our heavenly Father owns a cattle on a thousand hills” so, I am going to trust “Our heavenly Father.”

WE ARE NOT WHAT YOU ALWAYS SEE

2009-07-20T00:21:00.000-07:00

Our friends without homes sometimes get a bad rap. I have heard them called some of the most horrible things and it just breaks my heart when I hear it. I wish sometimes that people would take the time to get to know my friends without homes and see them for the wonderful, kind, generous and loving people they are. On that note I would like you to meet some of my friends.

Little Dan they call him. Every week he shows up at the park and he is also one of the last to leave. I usually end up giving him a ride somewhere, but he stays until I leave. Every week he walks the perimeter of the park and without asking him to do so, he makes sure the park is spotless of all trash. He says he does it so no has any excuse to not let us serve there, he then asked if I knew why he stands behind the serving line each week and waits for everyone to go through. No, I responded and he explained that he appointed himself security and he stays there so no one will mess with anyone. He said “Your family and no one messes with family.” We have never had a problem at the park so far, but it is a good feeling to know you have someone watching your back. It is also a beautiful thing to know that he cares so much about us that he is willing to step in to protect us if something should happen. I just hope he knows how much we care and love him in return.

Last week I was at the park until about eight in the evening and on my home I stopped at the underpass. I saw one of my guys (who lives in his truck) down there and thought I would say Hi. He put the tailgate down on his truck and asked me to have a seat. A little while later three other guys showed up and sat and talked to us. I remembered I had some brownies in the truck, pulled them out and we all sat there having a good time eating and sharing what ever anyone had to drink with them. We sat and laughed, talked about old times, dreams and even cried a little with each other. We sat there until eleven that night. Then they were off to find a place to sleep for the night. As a woman was I scared of these rough tough street guys, sitting under an overpass in to the late night…..No! If anything I considered it a privilege to have been invited into their living room (the tailgate of a truck) to share food and something to drink, most of all their company. To give you a little perspective, my youngest son (he’s 25) called over ten times wanting to know where I was and if I was all right. I left my phone in my truck and when I was leaving he was calling again. I answered and explained where I was and who I was with, his only response was “Oh, that’s okay I least I know you are all right.” He even knows that being with these guys, you are treated with the up most respect and nothing will happen.

Once again today I stopped at the underpass to just say Hello again. I ended up staying seven hours down there…..yes, seven hours. When I pulled up I was greeted with hugs and hellos. One gave up his piece of cardboard so I wouldn’t have to sit on the concrete. We sat there talked, watched people go by and just had a great time. I ended up running down to the local grocery store and getting fried chicken and a few other things, set up a serving table on the back of the pickup and had us the best little picnic under the overpass. Just about everyone got their bellies full and fell asleep, but I just sat there. As I sat there I got a glimpse into their world. No one knew if I was homeless or not, except those there with me. I watched as people drove by and stared as if they never saw a homeless person, they drove by yelling nasty things out the car windows not knowing the beautiful hearts these guys have. It broke my heart to see and hear these things. Instead of yelling back, my friends had made up signs that read, we love you, your special, signs not asking for money, but signs they say to spread a little cheer (now who is being rude?). I sat there looking at my friends as they slept and thought about how much they mean to me, how they have touched my heart and how I wished people could truly see them for who they really are. Yes, they are rough and tough, but they have to be to survive. Yes, there are a few that because of the way they act give the others a bad name. We can’t judge the whole bushel, just because there are a few bruised apples in the basket. By prejudging our friends without homes, you are the ones that are missing out. Missing out on their beauty, generosity, humor, brilliance, and the love they have to share. So, the next time you see one of our friends on the streets, instead of looking away, give them a big smile, a warm hello and treat them as the beautiful person God created them to be……..you just might find a friend in one of them.

SO MEET SOME OF MY FRIENDS UNDER THE OVERPASS!!!

We are not just a Feed

2009-07-05T21:17:00.000-07:00

His face is red and his body tenses as the hurt and rage builds inside.

He takes me by the hand and begs me to pray for him, so we take a walk and find a quite place.

He screams out about the hurt he is feeling and the rage he has inside

I put my arms around him and hold him closely and begin to pray like he asked.

I feel his body ease and the tears begin to flow.

Through his tears he say "I only wish my mother would have loved me, just once in my life."

I hold him tighter and whisper in his ear "I love you more than you could ever imagine."

He breaks and sobs, then looks me in the eye and says "You all are the only one's who ever really loved me and I know it is real. You are family."

THIS IS WHY WE GO TO THE PARK. WE ARE THERE TO LOVE.....not just feed!

MOVES, CHANGES AND GOOD THINGS HAPPENING

2009-06-01T21:47:00.000-07:00

WOW, it has been so long since I posted anything about the park, so I am going to make an attempt to get caught up here. As some of you know, I was going to the park on Sunday afternoons. A few months ago, Vivian a friend of mine, who I met while in Portland, sent me an email. She said there was a group (friends of hers) in a neighboring town that was interested in what I was doing in the park and if we could get together and talk. So, I am going to try and make a long story short here to get everyone up on what is going on.

So, she connected me with Todd Hunter (http://toddhunter.org/), his family and a wonderful group of people, who have a heart to serve. Shortly after they began to come down to the park to serve and love on our friends without homes. Sunday’s a lot of the churches will do dinners and lunches for our friends on the streets, so we decided to do something on Saturday’s were there was a greater need. So, we were on the move to find a new place. Until we could figure out where to go, we setup behind the local day shelter here and two weeks ago we made our move back to the park, a different park, but at least we are back in the park. In the park we can spread out, play some football, talk and just be friends and family hanging out. It’s great!

This new park is a place that I have always felt lead to go and I am so excited to be there. This park is located near the shelter and with in walking distance for our friends. It is also a park that a lot of the drinkers and drug users use to hang out and is known for its fights. Many people are afraid to go down and try to get to know the people there, but I feel this is where we are led and meant to be. In our move to this new park, I was afraid we would lose a lot of the people we were serving. We did lose a few, but as time goes on I think they will return. In the process though, we have so many new faces joining us. The ones who hangout down there all day, think it is just awesome that we would come down and hang with them. They clamor for attention, hugs and to be loved on. I have noticed that those who are new to the streets or that are new to town are coming to this part of the park as well, so every week there are new people and the numbers we serve are growing. Our first week down we served at least a hundred people and this week was at least the same…. how awesome to blessed by that many people coming down.

Well, let me tell you a little about the others who have joined in at the park. There is Todd Hunter, his wife Deb and daughter Carol. Carol’s friend Jen joins us as well as Jim and Tonya Haught and their daughter Ashley. Each and every one of them are wonderful people. They have come along, with others from their group and church and provided the meals for the park, what a blessing and an answer to prayer and I thank them so very much for this. Deb and Tonya make some of the most awesome meals and Ashley bakes some of the best deserts. I have people call from the shelter to ask what is on the menu, just so they know what to look forward to in the park. Jim and Todd have very companionate and caring hearts and it is good to see some of the guys from the streets connect with them. Carol and her friend Jen are just the sweetest young ladies and they jump right in to help serve, it is great to see them there. Like I said before, each and every one of them as well as the others who make it possible to serve and spend time with our friends has been a blessing and an answer to prayer. Their commitment to serve week after week just blows me away. Most of all, their compassion, willingness to open their arms and say “I accept and love you right were you are” and allowing themselves to be Christ’s arms extended to some of the most lost and broken people of our town, is the biggest example of God’s love they could be. I thank each and every one of them for seeing our friends through God’s eyes and loving with His heart. Lives and hearts are being touched in ways they don’t yet realize.

This past weekend we had some others from their group come down and join us as well. Kim and two young men from out of town, was great to see them jump right in and feel at home with our friends in the park. Many thanks to them for all they did that day and spending time with everyone.

Well, everyone lots going on and more to tell, but I am going to stop for now। I promise to try and keep up with my blogs and thanks to all of you that keep asking and are interested in what is going on। Also, I thank all of you that have kept us in your prayers. Much love to all of you!!! Below you will find pictures of our first day in the new park…enjoy and be blessed!

,

DREAMS AND VISIONS

2009-05-17T00:41:00.000-07:00

I have had a few people ask about my drawings, so let me try to explain. About 3 or 4 years ago I started having dreams about certain people or when I was around certain people I would see these pictures. They always come to me in the form of a pencil drawing. So far, each one has had the hand of God doing or giving something to that person. When I start the drawing, I have a little understand of what the meaning behind it is, but it is not until it is finished that God tells me what he wants to tell the person for whom the picture is for. Long story....short, that's about it. I hand it over to them, tell them what I feel God is trying to say and let Him speak to them through it. So, below is a few of the drawings.

FOR LEN: HE WILL GIVE YOU THE CITY

DIANNA: SHE DANCES FOR HIM, BUT HE ALSO DANCES WITH HER

FROM THE WOMEN'S CONFERENCE: LET THE LOVE OF THE FATHER FLOW AND TOUCH OTHERS

GERALD: THE CHAINS OF THE PAST ARE BROKEN

WALTER: HE HOLDS YOUR HEART, BEING REFINED AND WHAT IS EMERGING IS THE HEART OF THE FATHER!

I AM ----by MIKE

2009-05-04T14:50:00.000-07:00

My friend Ken,from HOMEPDX in Portland, recently posted on his website (http://www.homepdx.net/) a blog from one of his friends Mike. I thought I would share it with you. You can find Mike's blog at
http://pdxurbanoutdoorsman.wordpress.com/. I have enjoyed reading his blogs and if you get a chance, drop by and check it out.

I am…
I am the one you saw in the sleeping bag while you parked your car.
You shook your head.

I am one of those you saw standing in line for breakfast, actually you were gawking.
You shook your head.

I am the one you saw walking towards the light rail.
You shook your head.

I am the one who stood so you would have a place to sit on the train since I was taking a short ride.
You shook your head.

I am one of those you see on a daily basis as you walk by the drop-center, again you gawked.
You shook your head.

I am the one you saw sitting at Pioneer Courthouse Square reading a book while you ate lunch.
You shook your head.

I am the one you saw as you hightailed it back to work so you would not be late.
You shook your head.

I am the one you saw walking by as you took your afternoon break.
You shook your head.

I am the one you saw while talking to you friends at the bus stop after work.
You shook your head.

I am the one you saw while you were having dinner with friends at the restaurant with outdoor seating.
You shook your head.

I am the one you saw as you and your friends went barhopping.
You shook your head.

I am the one you saw as you stumbled down the sidewalk after far too much to drink.
I shook my head.

Did you remember me?

Who Will Carry the Cross?

2009-04-12T23:10:00.000-07:00

This morning I got a chance to have a quiet morning to myself. As I sat there, I was reflecting on the fact that it was Easter, which brough thoughts of what this day represents. I picked up my bible and began reading about the trial, Christ being led away, his death and the resurrection. In no way am I trying to take away from the ultimate sacrifice that Christ made for us, but I was being drawn back to something that happened right before his crucifixion.

As Jesus is being led away, he is no longer able to carry his cross. A bystander, Simon was ordered by one of the soldiers to pick it up and carry it for him. As I was reading this, I noticed not much is mentioned about Simon except that he was a bystander and where he was from. My mind thinks in weird ways sometimes, but I thought why Simon, out of all the people in the crowd that day and what was Simon thinking when he was ordered to pick up and carry the cross?

Jesus, weakened from his beatings, is no longer able to carry the cross. All condemned prisoners had to carry their own cross to the site they were to be executed. At that moment, did the soldier see past all that Jesus was accused of and what others thought and said about him? Did he see him as a fellow human being, someone in need of help? Did he have a moment of compassion and turn to Simon and say, “you help him with his burden?”

At that moment, what was going through Simon’s head? Out of thousands of people that day, was he thinking why me, I am a nobody? I am just here to celebrate the Passover with everyone else. That cross is big and the burden is heavy. Why do I have to get involved in all this, this is his problem not mine? If I carry that cross, the splinters are going to dig deep into my back and it is going to hurt. Doing this is going to take time away from what I came here for, the celebration, spending time with friends and family. Even though he was commanded to carry the cross, being in the large crowd he was in, he may have had the choice to say “no”. If he did, would the soldier have called upon someone else? But, like the soldier, did Simon see a person in need of help and have compassion for him?

As all this was swirling around in my head, I thought at this point was God trying to say to us “pick up the cross?” When we see a fellow human being broken, beaten down and weary from the burden they are carrying, will we be the ones who will have compassion and say, “I will walk along side of you and help.” Will we walk the distance with them or will we say “no” and turn and hide in the crowd? From what I read and I could be wrong, but Simon was no one special, just someone picked from a crowd of thousands, but what made him different was that he didn’t run and he helped carry the burden of the heavy cross to the end. We don’t have to be extraordinary people for God to use us; we can be a nobody in a crowd of thousands. But when we say “yes” when called on, He can do extraordinary things through us and change the lives of others around us. So, will you say “yes” or wait for someone else to be called? Just a thought!

KEN, A TELEPHONE AND HOW GOD SPOKE

2009-02-25T19:13:00.000-08:00

A year ago today, I was sitting in the same spot. Alone in my office, sitting in front of the computer, reading when I was reminded of a something I told the Lord. You see, many years ago I had felt like there had to be more to being a Christian. I did the Sunday morning thing, joined the small groups and volunteered were needed, but it never seemed enough. I felt like I need to be out from the walls, be out in the community doing something, I did not want to wait for the people to come into the church, I wanted to be out with the people. In what way, at that time I didn’t know.

So, a few years ago I came to the Lord with a request or a challenge, which ever you want to call it. I had a hunger for more. A hunger for a deeper understanding of Him, a deeper relationship with Him and a overwhelming desire to serve Him in anyway He wanted, not in the way others said I should be serving. So, I found myself one night in my family room praying and what started off as a simple prayer, ended up with myself face down on the floor surrendering all to Him. Simply put I asked Him to use me or take me home. He responded by asking if I was ready to give up everything, no matter the cost? Yes, anything Lord was my response.

Then like an idiot, I challenged Him. I told Him, He had until I was forty-five. I was told over and over through out the years, that I should find a husband and be a wife. I have been single since I was twenty-one and never had a desire to remarry, so I told the Lord if that is what you want for me, it has to happen before I turn 45. I also told Him that if He was going to use me then He had to give me clear direction on what that was by the time I turned 45. If I didn’t hear clearly from Him, then I would be content with doing what the church says I should be doing.

As the years went by, I found myself many times being broken. Revealing things that I needed to work on or give over to Him. He began changing me from the inside out. Exposing deep hidden things, healing old wounds and showing me what I needed to change. Was it fun, no, but in the end it was worth it. He is still working on me, but I feel like I have that deeper relationship that I had longed for. In the mist of things going on in my spiritual life, the outside world was changing. Old friends didn’t want anything to do with this change in me, family thought I was nuts and I found them drifting further and further away. Then after almost ten years I was laid off my job. So, a little over a year ago, I found myself stripped not just from the inside, but my world outside was slowing being stripped away as well.

That is when He said to go to the park and just accept and love on the people there. I thought He lost His marbles or maybe fell of His throne and hit His head. First, I have spent sometime on the streets and swore I would never go back. Second, I had no idea how to do what He was asking or even how to start. He responded with a simple “Go.” Even my first day down at the park, I sat in my truck and though I can’t do this and was ready to drive off. I kept telling Him you have the wrong person and He would just say, “get out of the truck, you said you would do anything.” Well, those first few months were hard. Many mistakes were made, it was hard building trust with the people and it seemed like nothing was happening. I would go home and just cry and ask the Lord to please not send me down and I was beginning to question weather I heard Him right and if this was what I was called to do. Doubt started to set in. On top of that fellow Christians were telling me that a single woman should not be doing what I am doing, that it was not right and leave it to someone else to do. Had I not heard God correctly? Was all this a big mistake?

So, like I said before, a year ago today I was sitting at the computer. Reading emails and it was my 45th birthday. Then it struck me, the challenge I put before God, that He had until I was 45. As I sat here, I was still in doubt, thinking I missed the mark. Everything seemed to be coming against me and was wondering if maybe I heard wrong as to what He asked me to do. No one knew of this request or challenge I had put before God, it was between Him and I. As I sat here I reminded Him and asked one last time for Him to show me or someway tell me that I am on the right path and doing what He wants (it’s funny how He will wait until the last minute, just when your ready to throw in the towel). There were no great bolts of lightning or loud claps of thunder, just a simple ring of the telephone that changed my life. At that moment the phone rang and my son came in the room and said that some guy is on the phone for you, I don’t know who he is. When I answered, on the other end of the line was Ken Loyd (from HomePDX), a sweet man that I had met the month before. When I answered he said he had two things he felt like he need to tell me. One that he loved me, this meant a lot coming from him. The second thing about made me fall out of the chair. He said he felt like he was suppose to call me and then said “God told me to tell you, you are doing exactly what He wants you to do.” I broke down crying and Ken had no idea at that time why I was such a blubbering idiot, but to me it was as if the Lord picked up the phone and called to just say “Hey keep doing what your doing.”

So, a year later I sit in the same spot, not wondering what I am suppose to be doing or if I am doing the right thing. But, grateful for being stripped and broken, grateful that He said “Go” and never allowed me to run the other way. I thank Him for allowing me to be used; I thank Him for the new friends that have become like family. I find myself so very thankful as well as humble at the fact that He allows me to be a part of Him extended in the world, to love on some of the most lost and broken people. This past year He has shown me people through His eyes and how it is to love with the heart of the father. This has been the most amazing year and I can’t wait see what the coming year holds. There is so much more to learn and experience walking with Him. I no longer want to run the other direction, but ask Him to bring the adventure on…its going to be a wild and exciting one. By the way my wonderful friend Ken, thank you for picking up the phone and allowing God to use you, you changed the lives of many people that day and I love you!

BEAUTY UNDER THE OVERPASS

2009-02-22T18:22:00.000-08:00

Like I mentioned in one of my other blogs, I have been going (after the park) to the overpass. The overpass is located near the shelters. Across the street is the local skate park, were a lot of the young kids hangout. At the skate park there is a few metal tables were we can set food out. Back across the street is were some of my street friends will sit for the day. No matter the weather you will find them with nothing but the dirty concrete to sit on and graffiti wall to lean against. Crossing the street can be dangerous at times, people will not slow down or stop. Matter of fact we had one hit last week early in the morning. The underpass is a place that people probably ignore as they drive bye, never taking a second glance at the beauty it may hold. So, today I was only able to take a few pictures, but I wanted to share with you the beauty I find under the overpass.

Meet some of my beautiful friends without homes!!

POPS (Doug) I wrote about in a previous blog, he wanted to know if God loved little Ol critters like him. He stole a piece of my heart the day I met him and he will always have a special place in it.

Paul has such tender heart and compassion for others flows from this man. He has appointed himself as my guardian; always making sure no one gives me a hard time, not that anyone has or I ever anticipate anyone doing so, but he seems to think he needs to keep an eye on me.

Justin is the sweetest young man I have met in a long time. I had the greatest time today with him and his girl Sarah. Justin and Pops were singing songs and just acting goofy, was good to see him laugh.

NORMALS

2009-02-09T21:57:00.000-08:00

Sunday’s after the park I go down to the underpass. There I do the same as I do in the park, give a warm meal but mostly hang out and talk. This past Sunday we had finished loading the truck backup and a group that we had been visiting with left and was walking down the street. My son and I were still hanging out when a lady with the group came running back yelling for help. One of the guys with them had roughed her up and threw her in the bushes. She was afraid that the guy who roughed her up was going to do something to one of the other guys and asked if we would help (they asked not to have the cops involved). So, my son, one other guy and myself jumped in the truck and went to help. To make a long story short, we got everyone back to the underpass without anyone else getting hurt. As we all stood there talking, the lady came up and gave me a hug and said “Thank you, you’re the only normal that has ever cared enough to help.”

I didn’t think much of the phrase she used “normals” until I was back home and it still has bothered me today. I had heard my friend Ken, in Portland, use this term before. He said it was a term that people on the streets used to refer to those who don’t live outside, have a job, the house, the family, etc.

I want to know how having all those things mentioned above makes you normal? I want to know why society says that by having all these things that you are in someway superior to those who have not and those who do not have are looked upon as if they are less than human. I want to know why when a homeless woman is assaulted on a busy street corner, no one stops to help and people look the other direction. If it were someone in a three-piece suite, many would have jumped into help.

So, why am I bothered? It comes down to the fact that I am hurt and ashamed. I am ashamed of those who would look down on and pass these wonderful people bye as if they did not exist. I am ashamed of my fellow human beings that cannot lend a helping hand to someone in need. I am hurt because these wonderful people are my friends and in some ways my family. My friends without homes love with a passion that we could learn from, they give more generously than I have ever seen and they have your back no matter what the cost. If I am sounding a little PO’d, I am sorry. When I hear statements like the one she made, then I get a little upset. Upset because I see the hurt in their eyes and the pain in their heart when they are looked upon as less than. Then I have to ask, is it normal to not care and turn a blind eye, if it is then I don’t want to be considered as normal. I want to be abnormal. I want to throw my arms around them and hug them. I want to tell them I love them. I want to be a shoulder when they are hurting and when they need someone to have their back, I want to be there for them. I want to sit along the underpass as traffic drives by say, “hey friend, how’s your day going?”

I do understand that not all people (normals) treat those without homes in this way and in no way am I implying that all do. But I am saying that those who think that in someway they are better because they have, remember we are all children of God and he doesn’t play favorites. He doesn’t care how many toys you have in your toy box. He can take them away just as fast and you could find yourself referring to others as the "normals". All I ask is for you to see them for the loving person they were created to be and the beauty they hold inside. See them how God sees them and love them with the Father’s heart. Much love to all of you!

"THE FELLOWSHIP OF GHOSTS" by Walter Justice

2009-01-23T20:19:00.000-08:00

I encourage you to check out Walter's book "The Fellowship of Ghosts." There are not to many books that catch my interest enough to spend all night reading just to finish it, but I did with this one. It's also a book that I will keep around to go back to from time to time. I met Walter a few months ago and the longer I know him, the more I see the love and compassion he has for the people around him. A love that draws people to him, but also encourages them to be all they are meant to be as a child of God. By opening up and sharing his life with you, you see you are not alone in your struggles and you can overcome. Check out his book or drop him a line on his MySpace, he would love to hear from you!

Check out the book.
http://www.classifieds.myspace.com/bounce_redir/?l=1188159363&o=sr&t=xx

Walter Justice's myspace:http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=437613165

DOES GOD LOVE LITTLE OL CRITTERS

2009-01-14T22:56:00.000-08:00

Every week we venture down to the park on Sundays, to feed and see our friends without homes. I have a wonderful time with these beautiful people, but three or four weeks ago, I started stopping at the overpass on my way back home. Underneath the overpass is the local skateboard park, as well as home to some of my friends who live outside. I would drive by during the day and see many hanging around and at night you see many who sleep outside, rain, snow, and no matter what he temperature is they are there, camped for the night. There is no camping with in city limits, so it amazes me that the police don’t ticket them or run them off.

On my first visit down there, I met Pops, who I instantly fell in love with. Pops looks like he maybe in his late sixties or seventies it is hard to tell. He stands no more than about five foot five, gray long hair and beard to match. You can’t miss the bright orange beanie he wears and this small frail man disappears in his large winter army coat, it probably weighs more than he does. Pops is usual three sheets to the wind, but when he talks to you, his eyes light up (even though he looks as if he is blind in one eye) and he has the most wonderful smile.

This past Sunday, Pops showed up again. This time I was able to spend a little time talking to him. Pops asked why I come down to see them, no one else bothers with them he said and wanted to know if I was afraid to come down there. I told him that I love to visit with everyone down there and why would I be afraid to go somewhere that God has asked me to go? He looked at me a little perplexed and then asked me to look around and tell him what I see. I said I see downtown, traffic, people and everything else you might see standing under the overpass, I was not sure what he was getting at. Then he said, I see the snow covered mountains that God created, I see the rebirth of grass that died in the cold snow; I see the blue sky that God made for us today. He turned to me and said, I see God in everything around me, and most people are too busy to see him in the small stuff. I was floored and I admit I wanted to cry, because yes, I to get to busy at times to see him in the small stuff.

Pops then looked at me and said that he loves God, but wanted to know if I thought God could love a little OL critter like him? Do you think he thinks of me? Do you think I can do anything for him while on the streets? Do you think when he opens that book and takes a look at my life; will I have anything to show for it? Will he open his arms, welcome me and love me?

With tears in my eyes, I put my arms around Pops and held him tight. I then looked him in the eyes, those beautiful sky blue eyes he has. I told him that God knows he loves him. I know that God thinks of him always and when he does he smiles from ear to ear, you bring great joy to God’s heart. He smiles because he is proud to say this one belongs to him. When you meet him one day, he will welcome you with open arms, ask you to turn and see all the lives you have touched and I told Pops there will be many, many people standing there. I know because you have touched and changed my life just by knowing you and I know there are many more you have touched as well. Tears began to well up in his eyes; he said he needed to go. I put my arms around him, hugged him and told him I loved him. He said he would see me next week and he walked off.

So to answer you question Pops, “YES, GOD DOES LOVE LITTLE OL CRITTERS” and he loves you more than you can ever comprehend.

MOUNTAINTOPS AND VALLEYS

2009-01-01T17:30:00.000-08:00

I understand that some are standing on the mountaintop and see things with undistorted eyes, seeing things more clearly. Then there are those who are in the valley, wondering in the dense forest, looking to get to the mountaintops. I asked God to show me the difference between the high peaks and the low valleys. First he showed me the valley, there stood the dense forest we need to travel through. Though our forest may not seem as dense as the forest others are traveling through, nevertheless it appears dense and dark to us. We pick a path and head out in search of the mountaintop. With each tree we pass our pack becomes heavier and we become weary.

Then He showed me the mountaintop. There you could find no obstacles to block your view, you could see forever and what lay before you was beautiful. You could see forever, because you are above the tree line. As you look down on the dense forest below, you realize those trees are crosses. They represent burdens or troubles that you have overcome. They are no longer a dark dense scary place, but a beautiful sight to behold.

As you stand on the top and look around, you realize that there are other forests that need to be conquered and as much as you would like to stay, you have to return to the valley. This time though you return with the new understanding as to how to get back to the mountaintop. This new forest is not alone and there are others trying to find their way as well. They strain and grow weary under the burden and trouble they carry and they ask if you would share in carrying the weight. Wanting to help, you agree. You soon find out that you once again have your own things you must carry and the weight of both is too much for you to bare. You have to give back the load that is not yours to be carried by the other on the path with you. They feel lost, alone and sometime abandoned to search on their own, but you reassure them that there is help. You tell them of the guide (Christ) that is waiting to help with the load and give directions to the mountaintop. You have been down a similar path before and the guide waits for you to call out for him. As soon as you search and cry out to him, he arrives waiting to carry you. Some will cry out to Him, but others will continue to ask man for help and look to them for direction.

We continue down our path to reach the peak. Some will have found the guide and we may even travel together. Others we will have to leave along the path, still crying out for help in the wrong direction. Do we leave them completely? No, we can always yell back to them that there is hope; they just have to look in the right direction. Do we waddle in the fact that some have made it to the mountaintop and have seen the beauty it holds? No, but we can tell them of the beauty and comfort that awaits them there. We each have our valleys we must conquer to reach the peaks, but if we had not found and called upon the guide to help take us there, we would still be lost in the forest. If we did not call upon Him, we could not look back on all that He has taken us through and all that He has bore for us. The mountaintop is a beautiful, peaceful place to be, but in the valley is where I draw closer to Him and find new paths to explore and conquer. I think instead of perching, I would rather be exploring and inviting others on the journey.

THE GAME

2008-12-30T19:26:00.000-08:00

For the past week or two, I have been getting a picture in my head. I keep seeing a large football field with many players on it. Each fighting desperately to win the game and no matter how hard they try, they cannot reach the goal. On the sidelines stands the Lord, with his arms crossed looking and watching the game. He stands there very patiently, just waiting and watching. Along side of him is a bench, empty of all players; they are all on the field.

My question is: Is he standing there as a coach, waiting to give direction to the team, so they can take their team to victory? Or, is he standing and waiting patiently to be asked into the game, the only player that has not been included? Have we forgotten to ask Him for direction or have we forgotten to include Him in our everyday battles? Just some thoughts, would love to hear what you think.

Christmas in the Park---2008

2008-12-21T22:11:00.000-08:00

Thursday we will all gather with our friends and families to celebrate Christmas. Some will spend the morning opening gifts in our warm homes. Later we will gather at the table to sit and enjoy the feast that has been prepared. We will laugh, enjoy the day and we will give thanks to God for the many blessings. I have spent many of Christmas’s doing just that, but this year we celebrated a little early and not in the traditional manner. Yes, I will still be doing the Christmas thing on Thursday, but I think today was the Christmas I will always remember.

Today we celebrated Christmas with our friends without homes in the park. When we arrived at the park it was still snowing. As usual we were greeted with a group that helps unload the truck and helps setup. No big turkey dinner, but instead turkey sandwiches, hot chicken soup, brownies for desert and lots of hot chocolate. Okay it’s not your traditional Christmas dinner, but they loved it. Then Santa arrived. Terrica’s husband dressed as Santa and handed out gift bags that we stuffed with hot chocolate, gloves, handwarmers, socks, homemade cookies, candy and a personal card. I was blown away by the reaction of our friends. Their eyes lit up and there were smiles from ear to ear. To see these tuff street friends become like little kids was unbelievable. They hugged on Santa and some asked to have their picture taken with him. They started singing Christmas carols; they laughed and had such a goodtime. They were digging in their little bag to see what Santa had brought them; it was like watching little kids on Christmas morning. What a joy it was.

As we stood in the freezing weather and snow, I thought to myself, what is the biggest gift you could ever give someone? I looked around and yes they were enjoying Santa, the food and the little gift bags, but they will tell you that they will do without all that to spend time with someone who cares. The biggest gift you could ever give someone is unconditional love and you. Give of yourself and your time. I saw so much love and joy in the park today and all it took was a few hours of my time and it will not cost you a thing. You will be amazed at the impact you can make in a life, by not doing much of anything except saying I give a little bit of myself to you.

I want wish each and every one of you a Very Merry Christmas. May it be a day filled with joy and I pray that the New Year brings many blessings your way. Below are some pictures of today!

Before we arrived, our friends without homes made a snowman....they wanted to put beer cans in the hands, but opted to just stick a cig. in his mouth... :)

Waiting to get hot soup!

Some of our friends without homes!

Rudy and Dianna. Thanks to the two of you!

Travis and Dianna. Today was Travis's first time down to the park. We were blessed to have him come and hope he comes again.

Terrica, Kirk and Santa (Rodney). Thank you so much Rodney for doing what you did today. You were a blessing to all those in the park and it is something they will not soon forget. Terrica thanks for being santa's helper today, we all know you are still the brownie lady so don't go let this santa gig get you side tracked.......LOL

THE OCEAN

2008-12-08T00:11:00.000-08:00

I keep thinking of the ocean the last few weeks. Its vast, unexplored beauty draws you to it, the blue mystical waters and the sun beating down to warm your face. It invites you in to take sail, but never warns you of the unforeseen dangers and storms. Your course has been charted and though you cannot see your final destination, you know what it is. You set sail and the waters are calm and the slight wind thrusts you forward as you set out. There are storms that arise and batter your boat and tug at your sails, but the storm always passes and a new day breaks, the sun shines through again and you continue on your course.

There are some who are caught up in the storm that rages fiercely and will not pass. Its waves just beat down, bent on destroying anything in its path. The sky becomes dark and menacing and the light cannot be seen through the darkness that is surrounding you. You find yourself tossed from the safety of your boat and now face the waves head on. You fight and cry for help, but there is no one there to hear your cries. You fight to keep your head above water and soon you grow weary. You become tired, your strength is gone and you feel yourself slipping into the abyss. You sink deeper and deeper into the cold dark waters, hoping someone will notice your need for help. As you struggle to return to the surface, you can see through the water that the storm above has passed and the light is once again shinning brightly, but no matter how hard you try you can’t break the through, no matter what direction you swim in you can’t break free. No one has noticed that you are drowning and your need of help. Though you keep struggling and searching you are trapped in the unforgiving waters.

Today someone broke through and saw the light. I was standing the park today when someone came up long side of me and grabbed me, it was Robert. I met Robert a while back in the park. Today he had been drinking, as he usually does, but today he was upset and desperately needed someone to talk too. Him and his wife are both alcoholics and they have a new baby boy. She is in a facility with the baby and is getting help, but Robert has not had much luck with getting help or programs that he can stick with. He came to me today with a plea for help. He said he wanted to get help and did not know where to go. I could see that he was drowning and sinking fast. I called Sean over, he is one of the men who live on the streets, and he lives there by choice. This is where he feels God has called him to be, living among those without homes. I asked Sean as to what choices or options were available to Robert. We discussed them and let Robert know that he had to make the first step, but we were there for him and would help him in anyway.

As we continued to talk the conversation took a different turn that surprised me. He spoke of Vivian who had come to the park the previous weekend and how drawn he was to her. Then he said he came to the park last week and this week searching for something and he knew he could find it there with us. He was not sure as to what it was, but he said he felt it when he was with us and when he was with Vivian last week. Then he started talking about how he cries out to God for help and wants a touch from God. He said, “ I want to feel his presence, I want him to consume me.” I started crying for this man and started praying to myself “Please Lord, touch him today, make your presence known to him.” Robert looked at us and said that he wanted to feel God in the way we do. I took Robert by the hand and asked if Sean and I could please pray with him and for him. He grabbed our hands, hung his head and broke down in tears. We prayed, we held him and let him know he was loved. As he raises his head up, his face was different; there was color back in his face. He turned to Sean and I and said, “ I see the sun and the world looks a little brighter now.” I don’t know what God did to Robert today, but as he left I thought, he broke through and made it back to the surface. He was slipping into the deep waters of the ocean, but for today he has made it back to the surface. I will continue to check on him and keep him in prayer. I pray that God did something in him today and continues to work in him. I pray that he makes it back in the boat and sets sail again, heading out on the course laid out for him and when the storms come again, this time instead of being thrown from the boat I pray that he breaks through the other side.

We packed up the truck to head back home, dropping Sean back off at the shelter. We were talking about Robert and as we were, I wanted to cry out. I understood Robert so well and what he was going thru today, because for the past month or so the storm has raged and I find myself being consumed by the deep waters. I fight and fight to get back to the surface, but find myself being pulled down deeper. There are times when my strength is almost gone and I want to give up the fight, but if I give up to the cold deep waters, I will never finish the task before me and reach my final destination. So, not knowing who to cry out too or whose hand to reach for, I continue to struggle back to the surface. I cry out to God to bring me back, back to were I can breath again and once again feel His warmth shine down on my face. I want to feel that embrace, the reassurance that I am safely back on the boat and on course.

Even though we love on some of most broken and lost people of this city every week and try and bring some kind of comfort and hope to them, people don’t realize that we also have our storms to weather. Yes, we have God on our side, but we still struggle and can be lost at times in the vast ocean when we are knocked out of the boat and we are also crying out to be rescued as well.

Thanksgiving

2008-11-28T00:45:00.000-08:00

My son is out of town for the holiday and I was going to spend the day alone watching movies. Instead Sunday, I decided to invite a couple of people from the park, who have become good friends. The four of us watched football, ate way to much food, laughed and had a great time. As much as a misfit group we were, as we sat down to the table to eat, we sat as family. Each of us with our own struggles and different lifestyles, but we came together, accepted each one right where they were and loved each other for the person they are. We loved period and it was a beautiful day! I did screw up though, you never serve dinner the same time as KICK OFF of the football game!

Picked Darlene up early in the morning and put her to work cooking!

Darlene.....Kieth.....Kim

Love my Park Friends

TERRANCE

2008-11-24T20:33:00.000-08:00

I was wanting to share and blog about the park. It has been a long time since I have shared and wanted to catch people up on the things going on down there, but I wanted to share about Terrance. He has been on my heart for the last few weeks.

Two weeks ago on November 10, I happened to turn on the evening news and found that on that day they found Terrance. Terrance was 51 years old and had been on the streets for a while. I had seen is face around the park, but had never really engaged with him. I found out that night that he had climbed into a bale of waste paper at the recycling center and was crushed to death.

The news said they don’t know why he climbed in the container. I know it had been raining for days and weather had turned cold. The shelters are sometimes full and there are many just trying to survive outside in the streets. I really feel that Terrance, maybe not having a place to go and get out of the cold and rain, climbed into the recycling bin. Under the piles of paper he would have been dry and much warmer than sleeping on the streets somewhere.

I write about Terrace, because all the news referred to was that he was some homeless man, nothing more. As I think about Terrace the last few weeks, my heart hurts for the loss of this man. Yes, I really did not know him, but at one time he may have been someone’s husband, father and he was someone’s child. Most of all he was not just some homeless man; Terrance was a beloved child of our God.

Terrance could have been anyone of my friends without homes, on any given day. I wish I had the chance to throw my arms around him and let him know he was loved. When I go to the park now on I will hug a little harder and say “I love you” a little more often. You will be missed Terrance!

NOVEMBER 10, 1999

2008-11-09T22:32:00.000-08:00

November 10, 1999 at 6:45 in the morning is the day a piece of my heart was ripped out and has never been replaced. They say time heals, but there are something’s in life that no amount of time can heal. Life goes on and you learn to deal with the pain, but it is always there. I now deal with my pain in private, alone in my room is when I break down cry, grieve and cry out to God for understanding. On that day nine years ago I received a phone call that my oldest son Franklin had passed away.

He was seventeen and three months away from his eighteenth birthday. How excited he was to be turning eighteen. He was your typical teenager and we had dealt with the typical teenage stuff. Perfect he was not, but I loved him with all my heart. Franklin did have a great compassion and heart for people though. He loved to make people happy and if there was someone in need, he wanted to help. I think sometimes about the person he may have become.

I remember him sitting in church one day and just crying over some pictures they were showing of children in other countries and is longing to help them. He told me that one day he was going to go to Africa to preach and help the children there. I tell people he was going to be my preacher and I wonder sometimes if that is what he would have done and were he would have gone. I think of how he would have loved to be in the park with us on Sunday’s, just loving on the people there. I think about him a lot when we are there in the park.

I have his violin lying in the corner of my room. I can remember him practicing at night after school and gritting my teeth at the sounds that would come from that violin. In amazement though, when he would sit and play with the orchestra, I would just cry at the beautiful music that was coming from that violin. I would give anything to hear those teeth gritting sounds again.

Out of all three of my boys, he was the one who talked about having a wife and kids. He would have been 26 almost 27 now and I wonder what kind of wife he would have had and if he would have had kids, he loved kids.

There is so much I could say about him, but right now I miss him. I sit here crying as I am typing and I so long to hold him again. I want so badly to say to him “I love you.” I want to be able to put my arms around him and hug him. I miss him so much and my heart still aches. I don’t understand why a life so young has to be taken away. I don’t understand how this fits into God’s plan. I know someday I will get all the answers, but until then it doesn’t make the pain any less.

As I went out to the cemetery yesterday and as I drove down the road, I new this is the road that I will one day make my final drive down as well. Even though I go and visit his grave, I know he is not there. I know that he is with our Lord and someday I will be reunited with him. One day I will be able to hold and hug him once again and one day I will be able to tell him face to face “I love him.”
UNTIL THEN SWEET SON OF MINE “I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU SO VERY MUCH!” --Mom

The Park, Sunday 10-19-2008

2008-10-22T22:28:00.000-07:00

Well this past Sunday was the day of the annual move back to the winter spot. During the summer the pavilion that is used in the winter, is rented out for different activities and we are not able to use the covering. With summer over and families and companies no longer using the covering we are able to move back. With winter coming it does help some when it is raining or snowing. It doesn’t provide any shelter from the cold, but at least some are not getting wet. For those who are asking, yes, we are outside all year long. This move brought some worries and excitement at the same time. Worry, because winter is approaching and I am very concerned for my friends during these cold days. They leave the shelters at seven in the morning and can’t return until about eight thirty in the evening. Try staying that long outside in the frigged cold. The move did bring a sense of excitement though. As I stood in the park Sunday, I realized I had come full circle. This is the spot were I started a year ago. A year ago on my first day down there, I remember sitting in the truck shacking, scared to death to go by myself and boldly go and just start talking to the homeless in the park. I almost drove off that day and I thank my God that I did not. In one year’s time, my life has drastically changed and I would not ask to go back and redo any of it. In these beautiful people, I have found friends, family and I have seen God move in ways that just floor me. They tell me that I am one of them, what they don’t realize is that they have become such a part of me, that I can’t ever think of not having them around.

Sunday Terrica met me at the house, James (my son) got off work early, and we packed up the truck and headed down. When we arrived at the park, we unloaded right away and were instantly mobbed by people. With in about a half hours time we were out of everything. I could not believe the crowd down there this weekend. Dianna arrived shortly after. Her heart is really with the young children we get there. She sat at a table and had foam pumpkins for the kids to decorate. I rounded up some kids for her to do the project with and they had a blast. The part that just cracks me up though, is the adults that wanted to sit down and do one also. Tough street guys and they are sitting there with stickers and glitter pens decorating pumpkins. I watched in amazement, it wasn’t about getting to decorate something, what they wanted was the time she was willing to give to each one. The time to sit, laugh, listen and love on them. She had a young man there, who has been in the park for a while, he just would not leave, he so much wanted to be loved on and she gave that to him. It was like watching a mother spend time with her child. She made a deep connection with him and it is something he will remember for a long time. Terrica also was at the table and was able to have a deep conversation with one of the people there, which has a special place in her heart. This person has been hurting for a long time and she is beginning to trust Terrica and because of Terrica’s beautiful heart, this person is learning that she is loved and accepted unconditionally. She no longer sits alone in the park and when she arrives she comes right over, knowing that she is always welcome.

I tried to walk around and visit at the park, but sometimes there are those days when the unexpected happens and your focus is on that one person. There is an older gentleman that I have been trying to talk to for a year now. Ever week he is in the park and every week I try, but he is angry and really doesn’t want anything to do with me or anyone else. I was standing in the park and I realized someone had walked up long side of me. I turned to see who it was and it was this gentleman. I said Hello and asked how he was doing. I expected the usual and thought he will leave like always. This man turned to me and started talking; telling me about himself and his life and it was about an hour to an hour and a half that we talked. As I stood there, I wanted to cry. For a solid year I have been trying to talk to this man and here he was, pouring his guts out to me. Then there is the young Goth kid. I have had the same results with him, not wanting to talk, shun me as I tried to talk to him and about two weeks ago, Terrica was standing under a tree and he walked up behind her. She said hello and he just watched every move she made, examining everything she did and every word she said, but like Terrica says “ He was looking for something in her, she could feel it.” You could see part of him was waiting to be rejected and when that didn’t happen, doors were suddenly opened. They talked and laughed. He was there this Sunday and felt right at home with us. I told Terrica that Monday when I stopped by one of the shelters, he was there and came over and joked and talked. Monday at the shelter was mind blowing. I arrived to help one of the guys move some of his things to a friend’s house and as soon as I pulled up there was a swarm of people. A lot I know from the park and a few new faces, but each one wanting attention. So, when I dropped the young man off, I spent time just visiting.

The point I guess I am trying to get across in the blog is, not just what happened Sunday in the park, but how if we give of ourselves and invest our time into people’s lives, the doors that will open for you to speak into someone’s life are unlimited. We are looking for the instant miracles, the dramatic to happen and sometimes it just doesn’t happen that way. We have to be willing to be in it for the long haul and not give up on people so easily. No matter how draining or heart breaking, no matter how much you want to throw in the towel and say I quit, each life is valuable, is deserving of love and is just as precious to our God as you are. It may take a week, a year, a few years or even a life time, but my friends without homes, our families, friends and acquaintances all deserve the same love that He has shown us. We should not be so quick to give up on any of them, you never know when that day will come and an open door to their heart will suddenly open.

THE CHEST

2008-10-18T21:48:00.000-07:00

She approached the old wooden door, stopped and looked at the key she held. Even though she stood there tired and feeling alone, her companion was by her side. He never left her, but there were times she felt as though she was fighting the battle alone. He urged her to open the door, reminding her that there was no time to waste. She placed the old skeleton key in the lock and opened the door.

The room seemed old, had a beat up wooden floor and walls. There was one window, no curtains and when the sun came thru you could see the dust in the rays of the light. Though the room seemed empty, in the corner almost hidden from the light, was a old dusty chest, a chest that she had become very familiar with. When she first received the chest, it was bran new, shiny and was perfect in everyway. Over time it had become dented and the shine has dulled, but even with its flaws it was precious to her, for inside it contained her armor, the armor she did battle with.

Her companion reminded her that it was time and she need to prepare. So, she walked to the chest and as she knelt beside it, she opened the chest and started to remove the items she had been given. When she first met her companion, he gave her the Helmet of Salvation, Shield of Faith, Shoes of Peace, Belt of Truth, Breastplate of Righteousness and the Sword of the Spirit. All of these items had become very important when she went out for battle, but there were other items in the chest that she had received from her companion over the years. Once again she reached in the chest and removed the new set of eyes he gave her, these were so she could see those in the loving way that he sees them. He had given her strong arms to love and hold those that were so precious to him. Then there it was, his heart, so she could understand and express his love and compassion to others with his heart. He told her that in time other pieces of armor will be added to the chest, but they will come in due time.

As she stood there adorned in her armor, she had a sense of excitement and was always willing to go, but she asked her companion why must she do it alone? The battles are becoming harder and more intense and she did not know if she would have the strength to continue. She knew there were others in far off places also doing battle, but why is there so few and why have others not stepped up in the battle. He did not answer and once again reminded her that it was time to go. So, even though she was weary and tired, she headed through the door and off into the world.

Her battles were fought not with hate and anger, but with love and acceptance. She battled among the most lost, lonely and hurting souls of her town. Sometimes battles were won and sometimes they were lost. But she knew the battle needed to continue and no matter how weary she may become, she would continue until her companion said it was time to go home.

As she returned to the old bare room, she knew today’s battle was over, but also knew there were more to come. Tired she began to place the armor in the trunk as her companion stood waiting. He told her that today was a good battle, lives were touched and hearts were opened. She smiled, but still wished that she had others to help, others to give of themselves to those who don’t have the strength to battle for themselves. Just then she noticed something on the other side of the room. There stood a shine new chest, one like she had first received. Was this a new chest for her; was this a new chest that was also to be filled with new items of armor? She was confused; her chest had not been filled yet, so why would she be given another so soon? She looked at her companion puzzled and before she could ask, he told her that the chest was not hers. This chest was for the one that would be joining her in the battle. He went on to explain that there would be others and soon the room would be full of chests. He was preparing them, but soon they would arrive. How she loved her companion, even when she felt as though he was not listening and felt alone, he heard her cries and in his time provided what she needed. As the two of them walked out of the room and she locked the door, she knew they would return again soon, but she had a new sense of joy and excitement as to what will come. She knows in the end her companion will emerge victorious, but with each new battle she learns the love, faithfulness and strength of the companion.

This is a dream I had about a few months ago and it keeps coming back to me, so I thought I would share it with you.

WHAT'S GOING ON IN THE PARK!

2008-10-17T21:59:00.000-07:00

Well I know I said I would try and keep those who are interested, updated on the park and I have fallen behind. So, here is an update on the park.

About a month and a half ago, Terrica started joining me in the park. After her first visit there she was hooked. My friends without homes just love her and she has fit right in. Dianna started joining us a few weeks ago and she really has a heart for the kids, the little kids who are there. She also has been really accepted and welcomed by those in the park. I am so grateful and blessed to have these two wonderful women join me down there. I have been praying for others to come down to the park and help. It sometimes can get overwhelming and these two women have been an answer to my prayers. They have been a blessing to my friends and a big blessing to me. Right now it is just the three of us, so if anyone out there would like to give of themselves and just want to love on some wonderful people, let us know, you’ll never be the same after your first time in the park!

We have about 100 to 200 people each week in the park. This includes single men and women, young adults and families with young children. There were a lot of children this past weekend. We still supply sandwiches, water, socks and other necessities. With cold weather coming on, we have started to try and collect gloves, beanies, coats, scarves, hand warmers and anything else that may help with the cold, especially for those who stay outside during the winter. If anyone can help with these things, we would be grateful.

When God called me to the park, almost a year now. He said I was to love on them, accept them right where they were and have a relationship with them. I thought at the time that he was crazy, how can that make a difference in someone’s life. Well, the effects, of just giving of yourself, loving on someone and how it can change a person’s life, have blown me away. By loving, accepting and having a relationship, walls are coming down, doors into people’s hearts are opening up, trust is being formed and they are learning that we love them because they deserve to be loved and we truly do love them. They are no longer our friends in the park, but our family in the park.

I see a lot of my friends come and go on the streets. Those who now have homes, I have been trying to keep in touch with and make sure they are doing all right. I have been trying to help out during the week with any appointments and anything else they may not have transportation too and stop by the park when I can to just visit with those who maybe hanging around.

Some new things going on: We have decided that starting this Sunday that we would once a month start acknowledging those who have birthday’s each month. We will make sure they have a birthday cake and make sure they are recognized. This may not sound like much, but many have not celebrated a birthday in many years. Terrica has been working her fingers to the bones knitting scarves. We took some down last week and they loved them. She has also been crowned the brownie lady! They love her brownies. Dianna has a heart for the kids, so we are going to try and have something for the kids to do while they are there. This week there is a small craft project for them, try and make them feel special. We are trying to get help from others to do something nice for them for Christmas. We would like to not just feed them but also, do something personal for them.

Before I finish this blog, there are some people I would like to say “Thanks” too, some thanks are way pass due, but I would very much like to “Thank You” now:

Sweet Rose, who had a lemonade stand and sent what she made so we could buy socks. Your generous heart blows me away.

Andrea, who sent forty pounds of much need and welcomed clothes and funds from WI. My friends were blessed and were thankful.

Thanks to Terrica and Dianna for all the water, lunchmeat, socks, and everything else you have given. Most of all thank you for giving of yourselves. You have loved and blessed my friends in so many ways.

Joan from Agape Christian Worship Center, thank you for the bread this last weekend. It was a real blessing to us in the making of the sandwiches. Thank you for thinking of those in the park.

Nicole who gave us a box of books. A lot of those in the park spend the day reading and they were excited to receive new books. They pass them along when they are finished. This was a treat for them, thank you!

I think I am going to close for now. There are many things going on in the park, but I promise I will let you in on them soon. I don’t want to turn this blog into a book. So, I send you all much love and blessings. Love you all

Homeless Stats

2008-10-16T21:51:00.000-07:00

Repost of some statistics I found, these were taken three years ago and the numbers surely have risen since:

While browsing the Internet, I came across a blog that contained some interesting information about homelessness in a part of the US:

In January 2005, an estimated 744,313 people experienced homelessness in the United States. In Idaho there are estimated to be 5,092 homeless people in shelters and 332 without shelter, giving Idaho one of the highest rates of homelessness per capita. The national average is 0.30% of the total population. Idaho's average is 0.38%. In comparison, Utah's average is only 0.13%.
56 percent of homeless people counted were living in shelters and transitional housing and, shockingly, 44 percent were unsheltered.

59 percent of homeless people counted were single adults and 41 percent were persons living in families.

In total, 98,452 homeless families were counted.

23 percent of homeless people were reported as chronically homeless, which, according to HUD’s definition, means that they are homeless for long periods or repeatedly and have a disability.

A number of states had high rates of homelessness, including Alaska, California, Colorado, Hawaii, Idaho, Nevada, Oregon, Rhode Island, and Washington State. In addition, Washington, DC had a high rate of homeless people.